My mother has cancer.

**Al Van Bundy** · 01.10.19, 06:21 AM

A few weeks ago, my mother felt a lump near one of her carotid arteries & had an X-Ray taken. The lump turned out to be a tumor & they set up an appointment to get a biopsy done. The biopsy came back positive for cancer. We found this out this past Friday & she has an appointment this afternoon with a specialist where she will find out what type, how advanced, treatment options, etc.

Needless to say, this was one kick in the nuts I didn't see coming. I lost my father age 20 and now I have to at least consider the possibility that this thing is going to be aggressive & I might be parentless before hitting 30. I know people who have had it far worse than me, but my mother is one of two family members left that I'm really close to. Being born much later than most of my friends (Dad was 50 & mom was a month shy of 40 when I was born), I started dealing with death at an early age & the frequency just gets worse. Since 2002, I have lost my father, two aunts, my grandmother, my great aunt, my great uncle & two cousins. Average it out, a death every two years.

The parts that scare me the most go back to both my aunts (her sisters) passing. Both passed in 2015 & both to cancer (one to lung - spread to the brain & one to ovarian). One was 71 & one was 67. My mother is a few months shy of 69, so she's right smack in the middle of those two ages. The other thing I keep coming back to is, of all people, Lemmy. He was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that started in his neck & spread to his brain and he was dead less than a month after finding out.

Then, there's the optimistic portion of me. The best hospitals and cancer treatment facilities on the planet are in Boston. If one has to deal with this sort of thing, you hit the treatment lottery if you're around here.

People have been telling me not to jump to conclusions until she gets an official prognosis, but I can't help it. With most things in life, I am a pessimist. We're both putting up brave fronts, but inside, we know we're not bullshitting each other, we're both scared shitless.

I know nobody here knows me personally, but I had to spill my guts somewhere. I'll have an update tonight, whether the news is good or bad. If you're religious, say a prayer tonight for Mama Van Bundy. If you're not religious, watch an episode of The Golden Girls or Matlock for her.

**OLO** · 01.10.19, 06:46 AM

I am very sorry to hear this news. I have been through cancer twice in the past 5 years.

They have made HUGE gains on cancer and continue to do so every single day.

Look to God, let him guide you.

Be there for her. Keep shit normal for her, dont alsways talk about cancer, she is going to get relly tired of talking about cancer.

A few of us members have been through, feel free to reach out.

**bsbll4** · 01.10.19, 06:56 AM

Very sorry to hear this. I'll say a prayer for you and your mom. Hopefully it's nothing too serious and there's some hope coming out of the appointment.

I too lost my dad at an early age. He passed from a heart attack when I was 17. My mom is still around which is great, though. I've always wondered, though, which is better: losing a parent quickly and without warning, or over time with something like cancer where you know the end is near?

I guess I took the "grass is greener" approach when looking at it because I figured I could at least share my thoughts with them if I knew the end was coming. I could ask all the questions I never got around to, I could share the thoughts I always meant to, and I could hear what their hopes were for my and my kids' future. I never got that chance with my dad which will always bother me.

Best of luck Al.

**Get The Show On The Road** · 01.10.19, 06:58 AM

Sorry to hear that Al.

Hopefully they caught it early and it can be treated and she has a long life ahead of her.

My college cross country coach was diagnosed with stomach cancer twice when he was in his late 20s. He's in his late 40s now and still coaching so people can beat this.

Prayers for a good outcome for your mom.

**edwardv** · 01.10.19, 07:03 AM

Sorry to hear this. As a person who lives with a non agressive cancer my advice would be go to the closest university hospital system with a cancer center. Also ask about clinical trials with your doctor. There are drugs in various test stages all over the USA. Clinicalconnection.com can help you navigate should you be interested or need clinical trials they have counselors and its free. Stay away from CTCA...cancer treatment centers of america. I did a clinical trial for my cancer at UPMC Hillman cancer center in Pittsburgh it was worth the trips there. Stay strong and keep the faith.

**Dave's Dreidel** · 01.10.19, 07:08 AM

A family friend was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer before Thanksgiving, and it's already spread to his liver and elsewhere. Went from thinking he had the flu to receiving a death sentence in about a week. It's unreal.

**bklynboy68** · 01.10.19, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by Al Van Bundy

A few weeks ago, my mother felt a lump near one of her carotid arteries & had an X-Ray taken. The lump turned out to be a tumor & they set up an appointment to get a biopsy done. The biopsy came back positive for cancer. We found this out this past Friday & she has an appointment this afternoon with a specialist where she will find out what type, how advanced, treatment options, etc.

Needless to say, this was one kick in the nuts I didn't see coming. I lost my father age 20 and now I have to at least consider the possibility that this thing is going to be aggressive & I might be parentless before hitting 30. I know people who have had it far worse than me, but my mother is one of two family members left that I'm really close to. Being born much later than most of my friends (Dad was 50 & mom was a month shy of 40 when I was born), I started dealing with death at an early age & the frequency just gets worse. Since 2002, I have lost my father, two aunts, my grandmother, my great aunt, my great uncle & two cousins. Average it out, a death every two years.

The parts that scare me the most go back to both my aunts (her sisters) passing. Both passed in 2015 & both to cancer (one to lung - spread to the brain & one to ovarian). One was 71 & one was 67. My mother is a few months shy of 69, so she's right smack in the middle of those two ages. The other thing I keep coming back to is, of all people, Lemmy. He was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that started in his neck & spread to his brain and he was dead less than a month after finding out.

Then, there's the optimistic portion of me. The best hospitals and cancer treatment facilities on the planet are in Boston. If one has to deal with this sort of thing, you hit the treatment lottery if you're around here.

People have been telling me not to jump to conclusions until she gets an official prognosis, but I can't help it. With most things in life, I am a pessimist. We're both putting up brave fronts, but inside, we know we're not bullshitting each other, we're both scared shitless.

I know nobody here knows me personally, but I had to spill my guts somewhere. I'll have an update tonight, whether the news is good or bad. If you're religious, say a prayer tonight for Mama Van Bundy. If you're not religious, watch an episode of The Golden Girls or Matlock for her.

So sorry to hear this, man. You bet I'll say a prayer for her and you.

Hang in there.

**BlindtotheWorld** · 01.10.19, 07:39 AM

Praying for you and your mom, Al.

**TJENZ** · 01.10.19, 07:47 AM

Hopefully they caught this early and your mom and the docs can kick this things ass.

Stay strong sir!

**Ted Van Halen** · 01.10.19, 07:51 AM

Really sorry to hear Al. As OLO and edwardv mentioned, several of us have been thru/are living with cancer of some form. Hoping for the best for your family. Find a good doctor but put your faith in the great physician.