Imagine this...

**bizzatch** · 03.07.03, 12:02 AM

The other night a buddy of mine (who knows about Van Halen but has no real interest) and I were smoking a huge joint...

Anyway, we kinda starting talkin' the usual crazy shiz that you do when you were high, and my friend (who's 20, like me, and likes all kinds of music, and only really listens to VH when I force him, and only likes DLR-VH) comes up with a pretty cool idea.

All of a sudden, he just said this..."Hey man, you know what's so nuts? When I see pics and clips of David Lee Roth in the 80's he seems like the coolest fucking guy ever...he mixes being a crazy party animal/womanizer extrodinaire, with being funny and outspoken, AND TALENTED..."

Then he went on to say, and remember, this is the perspective of a young guy, who knows VH, but unlike us doesn't give a rats ass if they ever make another song...

He said "When I see the guy now...fuck, he's so sad, it's almost painful to see him. Like, to him, the world is the problem, and he doesn't realize that he just seems like a huge pathetic loser to everyone now" (He also stated at the MTV awards that Sammy seemed way cooler...remember, this is a NON-FANS, young man's perspective)

So anyway, after he finished, he just said "You know what would honestly BLOW PEOPLE AWAY?? If David Lee Roth showed up at next years MTV awards in jeans, a wifebeater, with a shaved head, a beard, and some cool fucking shades...and he just toned it down from 10 to 9 on the nuts scale...he could present an award and just let Eddie know that he's fucking ready to rock, and he's not some pathetic impersonater of himself, he's a changed man"

Now...I know it's never gonna happen, cuz DLR is a freak, but IMAGINE if he did do that? He could be cool again. He could be respected. The guy is in wicked shape, if he just cut his losses with his ridiculous hair, grew a goa-tee, some cool shades and paraded around showing off his pipes, the guy would fucking BLOW PEOPLE'S MINDS!!!

I don't know...I know a lot of you older fans will disagree and say that "that's what makes dave dave!" But, I honestly think the only thing that could save DLR, and make Eddie reconsider busting out some classic VH, is if he updated his look and decided to just tone it down a little...

People would still know it's DLR, and it would kick ass, and if the music was good, people would give it a chance, rather than laugh DLR's clown-ish image of the stage like they do now.

Food for thought.

P.S-Nobody attack me cuz I love VH, but I am 20, and I know what people my age will like. A lot of people my age think DLR-Era VH is TOTALLY COOL and they'd give new shit a chance, as long as DLR changed.

Does Madonna still parade around in cone titties singing Like A Virgin???? Hellz no, now the skankiest whore in music is a Volvo Driving Soccer mom...Dave Should take note.

**z28girl** · 03.07.03, 07:21 AM

What's sadder is people in their 40s and 50s grabbing onto every new trend that comes along. You think Dave looks pathetic because of what he wears onstage, but I think he'd look even more pathetic if he tried to dress like Eminem. You are what you are and you shouldn't have to be ashamed of it because some punk ass kid doesn't get it. It's a show, he's a showman. What does his clothes have to do with it? And furthermore, he looked a helluva lot better than tubby ol' Sammy in his PJs up there on stage. I just don't see the difference between what David Lee Roth wears and some of the other fucked up outfits you see wallking on the red carpet.

**Raldo** · 03.07.03, 07:59 AM

This is one of the funnier posts I've seen in awhile. With that getup that you are proposing for DLR, you would end up looking like one of the guys from ZZ Top.

**Glenn** · 03.07.03, 09:43 AM

Originally posted by z28girl:
It's a show, he's a showman. What does his clothes have to do with it?

And furthermore, he looked a helluva lot better than tubby ol' Sammy in his PJs up there on stage.

So, clothes have nothing to do with it and then you take a swipe at Sammy's clothes??? [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img]

**bizzatch** · 03.07.03, 09:51 AM

Do you people seriously think that DLR's clothes are cool right now???

I'm not suggesting that he "copy" Eminem, i'm saying he should just tone it down, and dress in something universally cool.

Wearing a cool leather jacket and some jeans, or just cool pants and a wifebeater, would not only flatter DLR, but would stop making him look like a huge joke.

You guys make fun of Sammy a lot, but as I said, my buddy, who's 20, one of the first things he said was "I can't believe SAmmy is 55, he looks pretty cool" and then he remarked about how DLR looked like "skeletor" with the most insanely stupid haircut he'd ever seen. And a leather jumpsuit.

The reason that I KNOW DLR needs an update, is the fact that he's become a parody of himself. DLR right now, reminds me of an Elvis impersonater...Unfortunately, under the cheesy wig and leather jumpsuit, IT ACTUALLY IS DLR.

Sammy is not the coolest dresser on the planet, but at least, unlike DLR, he maintains his own personal style, without being so over the top that it turns everyone off.

**bizzatch** · 03.07.03, 09:57 AM

Just to add to that, imagine this z28 girl, or anyone else for that matter...

Say you grew up in the 80's, and one of your guy friends was the ABSOLUTE coolest guy, bar-none. He was 25, he got all the babes, he wore the coolest clothes, and was the biggest party animal.

Now, say the guy is 50, he drives a mustang, has a huge bald spot, yet still keeps his hair long/dyed, he wears leather pants and cutoff shirts, he wears a big pair of crazy boots, he acts like he's still God, and uses all the same mannerisms that he used when he was 25...

You would give this guy repeated nutsack kicks and be telling him to act like it's the 21st century wouldn't you??? Well, DLR has tried to stay in the 80's for a decade and a half now, and I say, it's time for someone in his posse to let him know that it's not working, and an update is necessary to save any shred of dignity that this guy has left. I'm not talking about just clothes. I'm talking about image.

Eddie Van Halen is not "Cool" now, but he's not a freakin' joke either. At least he tones it down now, nobody wants to see DLR prance around like a moron anymore, it's to the point where it's just plain creepy.

**thetruth** · 03.07.03, 10:27 AM

I thought Roth looked cool on the last tour. He looks like what he always will be, one of the ultimate rock stars of all time. Your idea about Roth toning it down wouldn't work either, then you would just have people saying that Dave "isn't Dave anymore" and they would complain about his lack of flamboyance. Roth is not meant to be a t-shirt and jeans type of entertainer. It's only over the last 10 years or so that the words "rock star" have become politically incorrect in many circles (thanks to Nirvana); I for one am glad and proud that Roth didn't give in to this notion. The original VH were great musicians but they were also "rock stars", BIG TIME BABY. Roth is what he is whether you like him or not, and I for one would much rather watch him live than almost any other frontman in the history of rock. When I pay a fortune to go to a concert (ticket,purchasing fee, parking) I want to see something for my money as well as hear it. Roth always understood this and can still deliver the goods. When I saw Roth last year and he did Jump and broke out the sword there was a roar from the crowd. It kicked ass. Hagar in his yellow pajamas didn't impress me on the other hand. Not to mention Hagar is completely out of shape physically. Like I said, I want to see something (as well as hear it) for my hard earned money.

**bizzatch** · 03.07.03, 10:32 AM

I know this is an argument I can't win...

But, why does it make you happier if Dave looks really stupid?

There are guys like Joe Perry, Steven Tyler, Mick jagger who, still look like rock stars, but look way cooler.

I'm not denying that DLR is in wicked shape, i'm suggesting he show that off with the idea that less is more. I'm not suggesting that DLR tone it down to the point where he's lost all his character, just cut the cheese factor. I live in Canada, and so I got the MuchMusic version of the MTV awards...everytime it went to commercial it would come back to muchmusic, and in all honesty, the muchmusic VJ's were stunned....They just flat out said "what the hell was that??? was that David Lee Roth? Why does he look like a buffed up version of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons???"

Anyway, in my personal opinion, I think DLR now looks like the little troll thingy from "Tales From the Crypt"

**Glenn** · 03.07.03, 10:39 AM

Originally posted by thetruth:
Roth is not meant to be a t-shirt and jeans type of entertainer. It's only over the last 10 years or so that the words "rock star" have become politically incorrect in many circles (thanks to Nirvana); I for one am glad and proud that Roth didn't give in to this notion.

What about Dave's look in the Filthy Little Mouth era? Dave did go away from the technicolor explosion look at that time. Had it caught on, I'm sure Dave would have kept it. But it didn't, because Dave himself had fallen out of favor by then; nothing he did in 1994 was going to get him noticed, musically or otherwise. But he has shown a willingness to go away from the Diamond Dave look.

**bizzatch** · 03.07.03, 10:39 AM

And, I don't mean to offend you, but you say that you are "proud" your hero didn't change with the times.

Well are you also proud that every single person in the industry makes fun of him?

Are you proud that he looks like a huge jackass now?

I'm not trying to turn this into a Dave vs. Sammy, or a Dave vs. Eminem, or Dave vs. anyone. HE NEEDS TO LOOK IN A MIRROR AND REALIZE THAT HE"S GOT TO CHANGE A LITTLE IF HE EVER WANTS TO BE FAMOUS AGAIN.

The thing that a lot of you don't realize, is that Dave would give his mom a super-kick to be famous again. I know you love DLR, so do I. And I know it hurts that he's the brunt of jokes on all different kinds of media, and a lot of you blame others for "not getting it", but it's really you that aren't getting it.

I have a theory that DLR fans are the blindest people on the planet. I know FORD kept calling VH fans "sheep" years ago, but I think the 10,000 people on the planet that still think DLR is cool, are the biggest sheep i've ever seen.

I wish they could comeback because early VH kicked so much ass. But Eddie will never do it, and we should thank him for it, because it will only tarnish the greatness that they once had, and most of the tarnishing will be done by DLR. Because last time I checked, Eddie can still play Unchained like he did in the 80's.

**bizzatch** · 03.07.03, 10:41 AM

Hahhaa, good post Glenn.

Man, you're like Swiztzerland, you know everything about anything, and you really stay on the fence.

Btw-What's the weather like over in Edmonton???

**Glenn** · 03.07.03, 10:44 AM

Originally posted by bizzatch:
Hahhaa, good post Glenn.

Man, you're like Swiztzerland, you know everything about anything, and you really stay on the fence.

Is this a compliment or a throw down????

Btw-What's the weather like over in Edmonton???

It's minus 29 right now. Was minus 30 when I went out this morning!!! Where's the cold smiley!!

**weesfreewheelin** · 03.07.03, 10:45 AM

Dave was a product of the 80s just like most of us here. Since you didn't live it, I wouldn't expect a 20 year old fashion critic like you to get it. Get it? Anyway, Dave knows where his place in the music world and definitely is not ashamed to hoist it up the flag pole. [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]

**AVH Blues** · 03.07.03, 10:51 AM

Didn't Vanilla Ice do this? He is so much cooler now. [img]graemlins/scared.gif[/img] Dave is Dave and he just doesn't care the his act is tired. Then again, I guess it isn't really an act so it is just Dave that has become tiresome.

**weesfreewheelin** · 03.07.03, 10:58 AM

Originally posted by bizzatch:
Just to add to that, imagine this z28 girl, or anyone else for that matter...

Say you grew up in the 80's, and one of your guy friends was the ABSOLUTE coolest guy, bar-none. He was 25, he got all the babes, he wore the coolest clothes, and was the biggest party animal.

Now, say the guy is 50, he drives a mustang, has a huge bald spot, yet still keeps his hair long/dyed, he wears leather pants and cutoff shirts, he wears a big pair of crazy boots, he acts like he's still God, and uses all the same mannerisms that he used when he was 25...

You would give this guy repeated nutsack kicks and be telling him to act like it's the 21st century wouldn't you???

I did and do have a friend like this and yes he does still get laid on a regular basis. It really has nothing to do with his outward apearance or the car he drives, its more of a numbers game with him, you know, if you ask 10 chicks a day if they want to fuck? it is most probable 1 in 10 just might. It probably also doesn't hurt to be hung like a mule as this friend of mine is. Word seems to get around and he seems to have a busy dating schedule. Oh, and his taste in women is, shall we say, broad. Hell, he doesn't turn anybody down except little boys, and he just turns them over