The 2003 "State of Van Halen" Address

[Tonto]

The 2003 "State of Van Halen" Address
by Tonto.

My fellow native Americans:

Tonto say the state of Van Halen sucks ass.

5 years no new music.
No singer.
No record label.
No management.
No direction.
No plans to record.
No plans to do shit.
Dave file suit.
Ed hire lawyers.
Ed tell other web people not to use his shit.
No one see Alex for years.
Ed get separated. Golf game still suck.
Dave act like ass and show no class on tour.
van-halen.com about as informative as staring at brick wall.
Mikey more excited about peppers than anything else.
Sammy at least get Mike on stage.
Ed announce 100% clean health.
Ed photographed smoking. (WTF???)
Tonto get best VH info by reading tabloid and golf magazines.
Tonto think Tonto glad he have many VH CD's.
Tonto think that's all Tonto will ever have.
Tonto go now to smoke more Peace Pipe.



[ January 08, 2003, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: Tonto ]

[Red-Diamond]

YEAH DUDE, PASS THE BONG [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img]

[baddmann28]

That's the best post I have read here!

[wham bam will rock]

Tonto=AVH. Ha! Yer busted Alex.

[Zahzoo]

Tonto one funny renegade... must share firewater with mighty ZahZoo sometime!!!

Yatahay [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

[swampash]

Kemosabe speak much wisdom.
Eagle fly over arena rock coliseum, says mighty fire has grown cold, many moons to go in hopes old wolves return. Old wolves sleep in sun on golf course now...

[Raldo]

Thank you Tonto for recapping 5 years of frustration. Do you have anything left in that Peace Pipe?

[Aborted Festus]

Back to work now Tonto. I'm not paying you 3 beads a day to jabber jaw.