the Magera Phase, with their first singer Sterling Lee Roth

[voivod]

Van Halen's career is divided by scholars in four stages, and 708 substages. For educational purposes, of course. The first one is known as the Magera Phase, with their first singer Sterling Lee Roth. During this phase, band leader Eddie "Somewhere In Time" Van Halen was responsible for keeping an entire generation of guitar-hero-wannabes locked in their bedrooms wasting their youth trying to recreate what Eddie had recorded while drunk. David Lee Roth was considered, by all, a fucking egomaniac. He holds several records in the Rock And Roll hall of fame. Including:

• Most flubbed lyrics on stage from near-fatal intoxication Award. 1980 - 1983
• Most Shit Stuffed In Pants Award! 1978 - 1983
• Cro-Magnon Award for Thickest Chest Hair - 1977
• Cheesiest one-liners 1980 - 1985
• Biggest Mouth - 1984
• Tightest Spandex Award- 1985
• Best Drunken Rant - 1979 aliens took over and...
• ...Among many others.

There are also two other members from this era, but nobody gives a shit.

This era ended in 1984 when David Lee Roth suggested that the name of the band should be changed to "Lee Roth" rather than "Van Halen." Naturally, Eddie Van Halen threw a shitfit. With blatant disregard for their fans, David Lee Roth left the band, and so became the first sign of the apocolypse. Of course, this was all Fucking Sammy Hagar's fault. And so the 2nd era of Van Halen began. http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Van_Halen

[belikemike]

Van Halen's career is divided by scholars in four stages, and 708 substages. For educational purposes, of course. The first one is known as the Magera Phase, with their first singer Sterling Lee Roth. During this phase, band leader Eddie "Somewhere In Time" Van Halen was responsible for keeping an entire generation of guitar-hero-wannabes locked in their bedrooms wasting their youth trying to recreate what Eddie had recorded while drunk. David Lee Roth was considered, by all, a fucking egomaniac. He holds several records in the Rock And Roll hall of fame. Including:

• Most flubbed lyrics on stage from near-fatal intoxication Award. 1980 - 1983
• Most Shit Stuffed In Pants Award! 1978 - 1983
• Cro-Magnon Award for Thickest Chest Hair - 1977
• Cheesiest one-liners 1980 - 1985
• Biggest Mouth - 1984
• Tightest Spandex Award- 1985
• Best Drunken Rant - 1979 aliens took over and...
• ...Among many others.

There are also two other members from this era, but nobody gives a shit.

This era ended in 1984 when David Lee Roth suggested that the name of the band should be changed to "Lee Roth" rather than "Van Halen." Naturally, Eddie Van Halen threw a shitfit. With blatant disregard for their fans, David Lee Roth left the band, and so became the first sign of the apocolypse. Of course, this was all Fucking Sammy Hagar's fault. And so the 2nd era of Van Halen began. http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Van_Halen

I wasn't aware scholars took the time to divide the Van Halen saga into stages and substages.

[Raldo]

I can't wait to read the rest of the stages. LOL

[Stiil_A_Fan]

This is funny stuff give us more.

[voivod]

This is funny stuff give us more.

urr, click the link...

[tankman]

This is funny stuff give us more.

Fantastic stuff!! Read it man!

[Stiil_A_Fan]

Fantastic stuff!! Read it man!

I just got a chance to LMAO.

[Number 47]

That was Funny!

Unfortunately, a second attempt to introduce alcohol back into Eddies blood stream was successful.

-Jesus Leaves Band

-Gary ///wrists!

[TOM_5150]

As the music scholars have appropriately told the legendary VH tale to the world!

[vhrocker]

Too Damn Funny!!!

[servoguy101]

Too Damn Funny!!!

lame. could have cut 2/3 out ....