7 Kinds of Sex

**vhrocker** · 05.23.07, 03:41 PM

7 kinds of sex

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you".

The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife/Hubby any more. She/He takes you to court and screws
you in front of everyone.

The 6th kind is called Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

OOPS. Don't forget the 7th kind of sex - Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on!

**ZeoBandit** · 05.24.07, 05:32 AM

Nice!

**RRMB** · 05.24.07, 10:19 AM

I resemble that list....ESPECIALLY the Courtroom and Social Security sections

**chefcraig** · 05.24.07, 11:25 AM

There is also "Communicative" sex. This is when one's partner enjoys talking during sex, for instance the time my wife called me from a hotel room.

Many thanx to Rodney Dangerfield.

**Scotty** · 05.24.07, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by chefcraig

for instance the time my wife called me from a hotel room.

**steve mcqueen** · 05.24.07, 06:51 PM

Originally Posted by chefcraig

There is also "Communicative" sex. This is when one's partner enjoys talking during sex, for instance the time my wife called me from a hotel room.

Many thanx to Rodney Dangerfield.

insert rim shot here....

**Kimmie5150** · 05.27.07, 07:48 PM

Which category would uncontrollable loud, screaming, very vocal sex be place in?

**muffdiver** · 05.27.07, 07:52 PM

That would be pillow over her face sex...

**Kimmie5150** · 05.27.07, 07:56 PM

Originally Posted by muffdiver

That would be pillow over her face sex...

Lol. Who said "she" anyway?

**muffdiver** · 05.27.07, 08:03 PM

Well then I don't wanna talk about it if it ain't a she....

**Kimmie5150** · 05.27.07, 08:10 PM

Originally Posted by muffdiver

Well then I don't wanna talk about it if it ain't a she....

Why not? Nothing wrong with that.

I meant it could be the male or female being loud.

**muffdiver** · 05.27.07, 08:12 PM

No, nothing wrong with that, but I'll have to pass...

Lotta Seinfeld references here lately....that's good though...

**Kimmie5150** · 05.27.07, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by muffdiver

No, nothing wrong with that, but I'll have to pass...

Lotta Seinfeld references here lately....that's good though...

Yep. I've got my mind on football now.

**fast98dodge** · 05.27.07, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by Kimmie5150

Yep. I've got my mind on football now.

Football in a Sex Thread???

What???

Ok...

Wide Receiver or Tight End???

Actually, #6 reminds me of a joke...

There's the positive kind of sex... "OH YES, OH YES!!!"
The negative... "OH NO, OH NO!!!"
The religious... "OH GOD, OH GOD!!!"
The faking it... "OH FAST98..."

Gotta take a jab at myself every now and again...