Rough Sex Facts-No children allowed!!!
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  1. #1
    The Full Bug
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    Default Rough Sex Facts-No children allowed!!!

    Since summer is comming thought you would need to pointers to lose some extra winter pounds.....

    Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories.

    Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

    The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

    Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

    Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

    Take off her clothes
    with her consent.........................12 cal
    without......................187 cal

    Take off her Bra
    With two hands..........................8 cal
    With one hand.........................12 cal
    With mouth.............................85 cal

    Put on Protection
    hard ........................... 6 cal
    soft..........................315 cal

    Foreplay
    Looking for target...................8 cal
    Finding G spot ......................92 cal
    I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

    Entry
    Holding her..................12 cal
    On the floor.................8 cal

    With Different Position
    Missionary..........................358 cal
    Doggy...........................316 cal
    69 lying...............................286 cal
    69 standing.............................512 cal
    Italian hanger.........................912 cal

    Orgasm
    Real................................112 cal
    Faking................................315 cal

    After "O"
    Lying in Bed............................18 cal
    Hop off the bed............................36 cal
    Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal

    Get dressed
    Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
    Rushing.........................98 cal
    Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
    Heard her dad at the door.............1942 cal
    Her mom walking in..............................Priceless!!! LOL
    ALEX IS GOD!!!

    I've been doin' this for 'bout 20 years now, and I'll tell ya, to this day I still don't know the right drumstick from the left drumstick -Alex Van Halen


  2. #2
    Hell-LOW Baay-BAY!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by vhrocker View Post
    Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

    The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.
    I'll stick with the vitamins and the Scope, but thanks for the tip.

  3. #3
    Hang 'Em High
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    No doubting which way Scum's door swings!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  4. #4
    Top Of The World
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    What's an "Italian Hanger" ?

    Is there a possibility of injury?
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing!
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    Default

    its ok, you should try an alaskan pipeline
    Rice Burner

    1.The ability to "trick out" your moms civic with high end parts from the automotive section in your local SUPERwal-mart. (watch out for those falling prices!)

    2.Any low end "import" with a foldgers coffee can for a muffler...(the best part of waking up...is foldgers in your cup!)

    3.Usually your average 4 cylinder, front wheel drive car with a park bench for a "spoiler"

  6. #6
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    WTF is a Cincinatti Bowtie? Heard that one in "40-Year-Old Virgin".

  7. #7
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    Anybody remember the "Venus Butterfly" ?
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

  8. #8
    Hell-LOW Baay-BAY!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    Anybody remember the "Venus Butterfly" ?
    L.A. Law...right?

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing!
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum View Post
    WTF is a Cincinatti Bowtie? Heard that one in "40-Year-Old Virgin".
    When you reverse titty-fuck a girl. So your balls and cock are upside-down and it looks like she is wearing a fleshy bow-tie. It's called "cincinnati" because they do everything backwards there.
    Rice Burner

    1.The ability to "trick out" your moms civic with high end parts from the automotive section in your local SUPERwal-mart. (watch out for those falling prices!)

    2.Any low end "import" with a foldgers coffee can for a muffler...(the best part of waking up...is foldgers in your cup!)

    3.Usually your average 4 cylinder, front wheel drive car with a park bench for a "spoiler"

  10. #10
    no stinkin click!
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    They say ya never do this with chics that have big noses..

  11. #11
    Sinner's Swing!
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    Quote Originally Posted by muffdiver View Post
    They say ya never do this with chics that have big noses..
    HAHAHA
    Rice Burner

    1.The ability to "trick out" your moms civic with high end parts from the automotive section in your local SUPERwal-mart. (watch out for those falling prices!)

    2.Any low end "import" with a foldgers coffee can for a muffler...(the best part of waking up...is foldgers in your cup!)

    3.Usually your average 4 cylinder, front wheel drive car with a park bench for a "spoiler"

  12. #12
    Hell-LOW Baay-BAY!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by JasonG5150 View Post
    When you reverse titty-fuck a girl. So your balls and cock are upside-down and it looks like she is wearing a fleshy bow-tie. It's called "cincinnati" because they do everything backwards there.
    Jesus H.......

    You're 18 and you have that detailed a sexual database? When I was 18, I was lucky if I got the damn Datsun B210 in the fuckin garage without hitting one of the goddamn door springs.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by LowLifeFlatHeadScum View Post
    L.A. Law...right?
    Yea,
    The stupid shit that a person remembers.

    Did he say "reverse titty fuck"?

    I don't imagine i'll bother trying to hit the wife up with one of those.
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

  14. #14
    Hell-LOW Baay-BAY!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raoul Duke View Post
    I don't imagine i'll bother trying to hit the wife up with one of those.
    Nah.....'wives' don't do that. Hell, girlfriends don't do that after the first year.

    Got a co-worker to do it about four years ago. Talk about your silent hallway moments.

  15. #15
    no stinkin click!
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    Hope ya weren't like Sheryl Crow and decided to use one sheet that day....LMAO....

 

 

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