Top Ten Drug Using Cartoon Suspects

**vhrocker** · 04.19.07, 05:47 PM

10. Gargamel: (From the Smurfs) Most likely LSD. Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys in sissy white outfits and mentally abusing his cat. What does he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?

9. Olive Oyl: Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she is always giving her burger to her friend. One side question, what the hell are Popeye and Brutus thinking? What is it, her personality? NOT!

8. Snagglepuss: Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look, but he is suspicious.

7. He-Man: This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER OF ANABOL!!!!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the weights. And on top of that he even injects the shit in his pet tiger. Can we say "Animal Abuse".

5. & 6. Yogi and Boo Boo: We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side ? - Are they gay? I mean, take a look at BooBoo. Not that there's anything wrong with that.....

4. Droopy: The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip him an upper every year or two. The only time I ever saw him happy is when he sees the picture of the babe. Sort of makes you wonder.

3. Dopey Dwarf: He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement but they are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are afloat.

2. Daffy Duck: If he isn't using crack, Marion Barry is clean. He is so wired he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off all the time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Haldol wouldn't work for him.

1. Shaggy: By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee, the boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing until you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats consumed per episode does pot no if, ands, or, buts about it. And look at the way he and his friends painted that van! Pretty rad design dude.

**Van Squalen** · 04.19.07, 06:02 PM

**LLFHS** · 04.19.07, 06:11 PM

Super Chicken needed something called "Super Sauce" to be worth a shit as a hero. Whatever that shit was, it had to have a street value.

**Cabot** · 04.19.07, 06:20 PM

Scooby Snacks? WTF would make Shaggy want them as bad as a dog?

Or was it that Shaggy just had a perpetual case of the munchies and dog food was the next best thing to Doritos.

**WesIsOnFire** · 04.19.07, 07:56 PM

OMG What about tigger? Have you seen how wired and jumpy he is. He should definitely be at least #10 or 11 if not take Daffy Duck's place. lol

**LLFHS** · 04.19.07, 10:40 PM

Who are we kidding??? Bugs was definitely a weed man. He was far too calm when dealing with Yosemite Sam, Elmer, and Wile E.

**Van Squalen** · 04.19.07, 11:14 PM

These two guys were the hipster drug dealers of their time. Trippy cars and mysteries and cued laugh tracks and all. Separated at birth? Black ops government conspiracy to tweak the minds of innocent 70s youth? You decide, old timers.

They even met once in a crossover before crossovers were kewl.

Those seventies/early 80s cartoon creators were all wacked out from the sixties, I think. Think about it. Those old Pink Panther shorts, with the Inspector, the Anteater, and the shark - Mr. Jaws, right?...and that Curly-inspired Jabberjaw shark...and the Grandfather predecessor to SNL's Ambiguously Gay Duo, the Superfriends...and cars and dogs that could talk...and little blue gnomes who only had one chick in the village...and caper after caper after caper. Especially dark and acid-trippy was the post-apocalyptic Thundarr the Barbarian...with requisite hot chick and mutant Chewbacca sidekick and lightsaber ripoff (the Sunsword, right?

) included.

Bonus points for old timers remembering Shazam, Isis, and Ark II....ANOTHER post-apocalyptic live action kid's show with a radiation resistant RV being the star, LOL. Growing up in the latter days of the Cold War was fun stuff.

**LLFHS** · 04.19.07, 11:53 PM

Isis was fuckin smokin.

I still remember to this day an underwater shot of her swimming away from the camera and being able to see her Egyptian catacomb.

Shazam was kinda homo-lookin'.

**Goo** · 04.20.07, 01:38 AM

**ZeoBandit** · 04.20.07, 06:09 AM

Originally Posted by vhrocker

7. He-Man: This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1.

LMAO at the Roid Monkey remark.

**CaboBrian** · 04.20.07, 06:27 AM

Originally Posted by Goo

LOL!!!! It took me awhile to figure out why you posted that pic.

**ZeoBandit** · 04.20.07, 06:36 AM

Me too. I couldn't look past the girl.

**sixstring** · 04.20.07, 06:43 AM

Obvious but apparently overlooked:

...And not technically cartoons, per se, but anyone remember how 'far-out' the Sid & Marty Kroft shows were? Epecially "Wonderbug"...

LOL!

http://thehub.capcollege.bc.ca/~sstu...ite/index.html

**ZeoBandit** · 04.20.07, 06:46 AM

He came out of hiding with his drug use. There have been a few simpsons episodes where he was smoking a joint.

**graeme** · 04.20.07, 07:59 AM

Early seventies Kid's TV was a drug-riot.

In the UK we have "The magic roundabout" with a stoned rabbit called "Dylan". We had the "Clangers", these pink puppets that lived on the moon and of, the indescribably brave "Captain pugwash". How they got a pirate show on kid's tv past the censors that had shipmates called "Roger the cabin boy" and "Seaman stains" is baffling.