Friggin Drunks

[Axxman300]

I'm at work here at the Motel on a busy Friday night. We've got the Sea Otter Classic Mountain Bike race out at Laguna Secca and things are jumping.

From out of nowhere this duchebag stumbles in and flips his credit card at me. He doesn't have a reservation and doesn't say a word. It's because HE CAN'T, he's too fucking drunk. It was all he could do to give me his address, which I copied phonetically.

Well, said douchebag has parked his SUV askew in the gas station parking lot. I can't ask him to move it because he's just to pathetically drunk. So at some point it's going to get towed away because the Titanic is blocking the air-pumps.So it's going to be a long night.

I used to drink. I always walked home. This asshat drove around for who knows how long in an oversized SUV. I've done my part, I got his useless ass of the road. I just have to look at his fucked up parking job all night, so I'm stewing.

Don't be like this asshole. If you wanna drink, fine, no problem. If you drive you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.

End of rant...

[muffdiver]

Have some fun with it man.....He won't remember jack shit in the mornin'.....

[Interceptor]

Nice Axxman, I'm glad you did your part in getting him off of the road. The worst part of what you described IMO is that after this is said and done and the dumb ass gets his SUV towed, he's gonna be moaning, pissing, crying and expecting everyone to feel sorry for him just because he's a retard that deserves to have his vehicle towed along with everything else that he has brought upon himself.

Sorry, I started my own rant. My brother is an alcoholic w/3 drunk driving charges and his take on his situation is that "he just had bad luck and got caught for something that everyone else does and gets away with."

[SactoFan]

Nice Axxman, I'm glad you did your part in getting him off of the road. The worst part of what you described IMO is that after this is said and done and the dumb ass gets his SUV towed, he's gonna be moaning, pissing, crying and expecting everyone to feel sorry for him just because he's a retard that deserves to have his vehicle towed along with everything else that he has brought upon himself.

Sorry, I started my own rant. My brother is an alcoholic w/3 drunk driving charges and his take on his situation is that "he just had bad luck and got caught for something that everyone else does and gets away with."

Actually, you insult the retarded with this post...

Retarded can't be helped...Stupid is voluntary...

[SactoFan]

Axx, I see an Amazon shopping spree in someone's future...haha

[Bullwinkle]

Jeff Foxworthy does a great bit about being a designated driver:
You get a car full of drunks and, while you're driving them home, you pull into a gas station and say, "Hey man, you said you'd chip in for gas. Everybody give me a couple of bucks for gas!". All the drunks give you a few bucks and you drive on until the next gas station where you pull in and say, "Hey, you guys, you said you'd chip in for gas!", and all the drunks give you some money. Then you pull out of the gas station and drive on until the next gas station...

[voivod]

Axx, I see an Amazon shopping spree in someone's future...haha

Even better, go online now and subscribe the guy to a shit load of gay porn websites, DVD memberships and magazines...

[5150]

I agree, go have fun with it, man.

If said 'titanic' has been left unlocked, grab yourself a lawn chair, a video camera and a favorite beverage of choice. Push 'titanic' in the middle of the street, and watch as the hilarity ensue as the Sea Otter Classic Mountain Bike race comes around the corner.

PS - Dont forget to post it on YouTube.

[Axxman300]

I wish I could unleash the evil but I'm just too damn professional.

The fun will be when he see's his bill in the moring because I know damned well he thinks it's $29, instead of $144. The morning guy will kick his ass.

** He just called down as I was typing and asked if he had any messages "Any methigez?"...loser.***

[muffdiver]

Tell him there's no messages for him, but there is someone there looking for someone driving an SUV that smashed their car.....That'll freak him out...

[AT]

Don't be like this asshole. If you wanna drink, fine, no problem. If you drive you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.

Yes indeed, but someone who he might/could hit in that giant SUV doesn't deserve it. So it is a good thing you helped get him off the road.

Maybe someone should inform those who'd be interested in towing his SUV of his parking job so as to speed up the "morning after" fun.

[LLFHS]

Go shit in his gas tank.

[muffdiver]

Lmfao......hahaa

[vhrocker]

Call the cops and have him arrested for being drunk in public.

[Axxman300]

Calling the police was the intitial plan. The problem is that as he was checking in I was deluged with check-ins and people who were lost (my other problem with mankind), since I was alone I had to deal with them first. Once he's in the room he's not a problem. By the time I'd dealt with everything he was in his room. If he had actually driven off to go somewhere I would have called the PD with his vehicle licence number and name.

He's actually the quietest guest I have right now. It's a big event weekend so I'm super-wired. Phone ringing, people coming in and out and so on.