Evan Seinfeld

**evhesq** · 01.05.07, 07:37 AM

For those of you who don't know who Evan Seinfeld is; he is the bassist for Biohazard. He is married to porn star Tera Patrick and was on the VH1 reality series Supergroup.

When I was browsing Ed's girlfriend's Myspace page the other day, one of her friends posted a message that said, "Say hi to Evan and Tera for me." This means she is in direct contact with Evan through her connection to porn.

What if the promoters shoot down Wolfie on bass for the 2007 tour? I'd bet ANY money Evan Seinfeld will be the next bassist in Van Halen. In fact, I bet they've already jammed.

**chefcraig** · 01.05.07, 07:50 AM

The only reason on Earth to have Evan Seinfeld on a stage or in a room is because he may bring Tera Patrick along. He is an obnoxious simpleton. His presence anywhere is merely tolerated by others in order to have his wife around.

Thanks for creating a scenario in which Van Halen could even sink lower.

**Number 47** · 01.05.07, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by evhesq

For those of you who don't know who Evan Seinfeld is; he is the bassist for Biohazard. He is married to porn star Tera Patrick and was on the VH1 reality series Supergroup.

When I was browsing Ed's girlfriend's Myspace page the other day, one of her friends posted a message that said, "Say hi to Evan and Tera for me." This means she is in direct contact with Evan through her connection to porn.

What if the promoters shoot down Wolfie on bass for the 2007 tour? I'd bet ANY money Evan Seinfeld will be the next bassist in Van Halen. In fact, I bet they've already jammed.

You is Silly!

**evhesq** · 01.05.07, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by chefcraig

The only reason on Earth to have Evan Seinfeld on a stage or in a room is because he may bring Tera Patrick along. He is an obnoxious simpleton. His presence anywhere is merely tolerated by others in order to have his wife around.

Thanks for creating a scenario in which Van Halen could even sink lower.

You are welcome! I don't deny Evan is an ass, but you must admit, this is a VERY plausible scenario. This is especially true when you consider the influence of his girlfriend while they are "In love." He's her friend. I guarantee they have been around each other socially, probably at "The gathering" and the subject of music had to have come up at one point in time. This more than likely led to a "You'll have to come up to 5150 and jam!" type of invite. Like it or not, this is a plausible scenario.

**Model Citizen** · 01.05.07, 08:24 AM

Originally Posted by evhesq

Like it or not, this is a plausible scenario.

Because of a message on myspace?

I have clearly underestimated the power of chat rooms.

**chefcraig** · 01.05.07, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by bottagetta

Because of a message on myspace?

I have clearly underestimated the power of chat rooms.

Thank you. Plus, one can never overestimate the stupidity of one's audience.

**evhesq** · 01.05.07, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by chefcraig

Thank you. Plus, one can never overestimate the stupidity of one's audience.

It's a theory! I never claimed it to be the gospel truth. If I posted a message in 1997 saying Gary Cherone was going to be the next lead singer of Van Halen, you would have called me stupid too. It's all about the connections!!!

**chefcraig** · 01.05.07, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by evhesq

It's a theory! I never claimed it to be the gospel truth. If I posted a message in 1997 saying Gary Cherone was going to be the next lead singer of Van Halen, you would have called me stupid too. It's all about the connections!!!

Connections of what? You are theorising solely upon assumption based on the posting on a message board, for cryin' out loud. Again, you assume these connections, which are totally irrelevant because there is zero basis in fact.

You are merely speculating here: "He's her friend. I guarantee they have been around each other socially, probably at "The gathering" and the subject of music had to have come up at one point in time. This more than likely led to a "You'll have to come up to 5150 and jam!" type of invite. Like it or not, this is a plausible scenario."

Where are the facts to support this? This is mere supposition. How about this gem?:
"What if the promoters shoot down Wolfie on bass for the 2007 tour? I'd bet ANY money Evan Seinfeld will be the next bassist in Van Halen. In fact, I bet they've already jammed."

You'd be willing to bet? Where were you during the main football season?

Without anything solid to base it on, this theory holds water like a cheesegrater. Plausability? Sure, anything is possible under the sun. Yet until anything you imagined taking place can be verified, it's hardly worth taking seriously.

It's conclusion jumping, nothing more. And therefore open to ridicule.

**ziggysmalls** · 01.05.07, 09:29 AM

If you watched that Supergroup show, you could see quite clearly that Evan was not interested in playing cock rock with Ted Nugent. He wanted to do heavier things. There is a reason why his music gravitated into Biohazard instead of traditional hard rock.

Did you see how he reacted to Sebastian drinking wine? How do you think he would react to Eddie? He could not handle Sebastian so how do you think he could handle Eddie? Plus Sebastian was his friend for 20 years.

At least with Wolfgang, you maybe able to have some backgrounds providing the kid can sing. With Evan that is not even a remote possibilty since his voice is rougher then Eddie's after smoking a carton of Winstons.

**Model Citizen** · 01.05.07, 09:54 AM

**the_atomic_punks_rule** · 01.05.07, 10:09 AM

good detective work...its not out of the realm of possibilities...remember Cherone anybody...hahahahahaha...but to further add insight Janie didn't live too far from Tera and Evan.

**forrestjump** · 01.05.07, 10:39 AM

I used to be in a band back in the day in Allentown , PA and Our band used to open for Biohazard in 1990 a lot at the "Unisound Club"-which was in Reading ,PA, and Airport Music Hall-that was in Allentown. I remember Evan back then and he was totally chill and nice. We hung out everytime we opened for them and he hooked up with this chick who was always around us in our group. I think he dated her for a while. Not a big deal but I just thought I'd share that with you guys.

**evhesq** · 01.05.07, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by the_atomic_punks_rule

good detective work...its not out of the realm of possibilities...remember Cherone anybody...hahahahahaha...but to further add insight Janie didn't live too far from Tera and Evan.

THANK YOU! I thought it was a pretty scary thought, but quite possible given the history of this band.

**evhesq** · 01.05.07, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by chefcraig

Connections of what? You are theorising solely upon assumption based on the posting on a message board, for cryin' out loud. Again, you assume these connections, which are totally irrelevant because there is zero basis in fact.

You are merely speculating here: "He's her friend. I guarantee they have been around each other socially, probably at "The gathering" and the subject of music had to have come up at one point in time. This more than likely led to a "You'll have to come up to 5150 and jam!" type of invite. Like it or not, this is a plausible scenario."

Where are the facts to support this? This is mere supposition. How about this gem?:
"What if the promoters shoot down Wolfie on bass for the 2007 tour? I'd bet ANY money Evan Seinfeld will be the next bassist in Van Halen. In fact, I bet they've already jammed."

You'd be willing to bet? Where were you during the main football season?

Without anything solid to base it on, this theory holds water like a cheesegrater. Plausability? Sure, anything is possible under the sun. Yet until anything you imagined taking place can be verified, it's hardly worth taking seriously.

It's conclusion jumping, nothing more. And therefore open to ridicule.

I can do without your pseudo-intellectual analysis of my theory. This is a discussion forum. I threw this theory out for fun discussion. The connection is the PORN connection! As for speculation, I apologize. I realize that all posts on this fucking joke of a discussion forum are based on rock-hard fact and never speculation.

Your pompous attitude is HIGHLY annoying. How's that for ridicule?

**Duck** · 01.05.07, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by evhesq

I can do without your pseudo-intellectual analysis of my theory. This is a discussion forum. I threw this theory out for fun discussion. The connection is the PORN connection! As for speculation, I apologize. I realize that all posts on this fucking joke of a discussion forum are based on rock-hard fact and never speculation.

Your pompous attitude is HIGHLY annoying. How's that for ridicule?

Anything is possible with this "band."
Good catch, and lets hope your theory is wrong, fun as it may be to speculate.