To "Roth On"...Behavioralism 101

[chefcraig]

It's just plain odd...
Missionaries to this day travel the globe, mostly to spread the teachings and beliefs of their particular god, extolling the virtues and aiming to draw in as many followers as possible. This is done not only as a service to their particular church to indoctrinate others in the ways of their particular fellowship, yet to spread the joy inherant in their beliefs.

Sometimes the missionaries were killed in their pursuit, as they tried to convert folk that were happy enough with their own gods, and did not want/need a new one coming along with new rules and fucking things up. "If a man enjoys carnality with a goat, and the goat doth not complain, who's business is it? Piss off! On second thought, leave your women, then PISS OFF!"

Occaisionally, some of the missionaries would put themselves ahead of their god in their individual prosletising(sp), alienating as many as they charmed. These usurpers of the basic plan were called "zealoys", the forerunners of today's celebrity obsessed fans.

Nonetheless, the goal was to convince folk that the teachings of their god were worth following, so usually the missionaries and zealots behaved in a manner respectful of their god, and tried (by outward appearance anyway) to lead by example.

Which makes the self defeating antics of a few Roth loyalists all the more puzzling. As a dyed in the wool (conveniently skip the "sheep" allusion in that statement) Roth fan, it both perplexes and saddens me when folk alledgedly inspired by their mentor behave in a manner so...uh..."un-Roth-like".

Do they truly imagine their midless posturings, vile, cretinish behavior and basic backward-minded and insulting dispositions to somehow inspire Pro-Hagar fans to say: "You know Jeb, we may have it all wrong here. Maybe this Roth feller is on to something?"

Yet folk persist (some of whom were not of age or even born when Roth split Van Halen) in a path of disruptive negativety.

Let me state this: This ain't a knock at the Army. If you are asking, I am registered there. Several souls (There he goes with the religous imagery again ) that hang there mean a great deal to me, and I've been offered friendship there by many. As a result, my "Dave voice" would speak louder there at times, albeit infrequently. That is more or less the point of the place, and rightly should and must be encouraged. If one is naive enough to believe that by affecting a "Pro-Hagar" stance one will gain acceptance there, then one is dillusional enough to believe that the pursuit of love in a whorehouse is a viable activity as well. (Affectionately stroking a prostitute's head while she sucks off your filthy cock will not make her fall in love with you, nor does it make it any easier on her knees.)

But I digress...

Point is, I'm here, I'm Pro-Roth and neither shall change. I'm not above throwing the occasional jab at Hagar, his tenure in VH or his fans. True, even the dumbest farmers can grow the biggest potatoes, so even Sam can have a good day and once in a while come up with something I may like.

I said "like", not "admire". I admire Dave Roth, his attitude toward life, his achievements and yes (although they may appear dubious to some) I accept his faults as well.

I wish I could be as accepting of those that would choose to ignore his example, while pleading his case or prosletising(sp) in his name. Look, if DLR carried himself with half of the self-serving arrogance, astoundingly pig-headed ignorance and outright detestable behavior towards his fellows on this planet, it's highly doubtful he'd hold much relevance in life in the first place, with or without the albatross of Van Halen.

Quite simply, if one wishes to be a misanthropic, mouth-breathing, ill-mannered, goat-fucking simpleton, then be my guest. It ain't my place in life to change you, nor my desire. I've got my own fucked up issues to deal with, and thusly am no better than anybody else.

Yet, please do me this favor: Don't bullshit me, others and ultimately yourself by saying you are doing it "for the glory of Roth". Folk have precious little time (or need) for sociopathic, inbred behavior in their lives, and it's doubtful the man would be the least bit flattered by the dubious efforts executed on his behalf.

On the contrary, it insults, demeans and ultimately denies all that he has stood for in the first place. For cryin' out loud, show some respect for the guy if not for yourself.

By the way, if you hate or merely could live without David Lee Roth, that's fine with me. I despise ketchup, cell phones and most rap music, yet all 3 industries appear to be doing quite well minus my support.

Roth On, Fuckers.

...craig

[Lodewijk]

Quite simply, if one wishes to be a misanthropic, mouth-breathing, ill-mannered, goat-fucking simpleton, then be my guest.

Great post Craig !

PLEASE ........No goat-fuckers, simpleton's or not !

[DaleT]

How refreshing,...admiration without fanaticism.

[Wickett]

religious imagery.... whore giving a bj..... ketchup...

My head is spinning

Just kidding..

Good points made. As I've said before, if it was TRULY common sense, more people would have it.

[James in New York]

Roth On, Fuckers.

...craig

[seenbad]

Fucking CLASSIC, and GREAT post!

I say STICKY THIS MUH FUCK!!

[hatchetforce]

tour de force. bravo!

(If I could write 10% as well as Chef, I would consider myself fortunate)

[graeme]

Why the bitterness toward goat-fucking simpletons?

[Lodewijk]

Why the bitterness toward goat-fucking simpletons?

Because us goats don't like being fucked by anyone except Mrs. Lode........and the occasional street whore !

[fast98dodge]

chef...

Nice post...

I gotta ask ya...

Is that the weed or the booze talkin'???

[Pumpkinhead]

I enjoyed reading this........ I think??? lol... "Why the bitterness toward goat-fucking simpletons?" - that was pretty funny! Good thread!

[chefcraig]

chef...I gotta ask ya...
Is that the weed or the booze talkin'???

Niether. It's called "straight" talk.