***!!!Dave-isms!!!***

[The Tom]

Post your favorite Dave-isms.

I'm a family-oriented guy. I've personally started four or five this year already.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
After all these years of bright lights, I still don't need glasses--I drink straight from the bottle.

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, and then turns into a pizza.

I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister!

Hey, hey! Don't squirt water at me pal! I'll fuck your girlfriend! [On stage - Us Festival 1983]

I used to have a drug problem, but now I make enough money so that it's not a problem anymore.

I don't get all the women that I want--I get all the women that want me.

Young musicians are always coming up to me and asking 'how do you know when you've made it?' When you can spell 'subpoena' without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it.

It's not who wants to sleep with you; it's who wants to sleep with you again.

Some people say that life is a cesspool of darkness and despair. Well, we in
Van Halen are sailing through it on a yacht.

I think people want balance more than ever. You know, feed an Ethiopian, plant the rain forest, save the ozone layer--you gotta have that, "oh woe is me," as a form of self-dramatization; it's always fun. It shouldn't be replaced, but there should be a balance. Sooner or later, it's Miller time! Sooner or later, there is some hallelujah, watusi-tailgate, light-up-the-goddamn-sky-it's-finally-the-weekend! And I don't care whether you wear a cowboy hat or your hair is purple, I don't care if you have a wedding ring or a clit ring, sooner or later, there's Miller time! That doesn't mean simple belly laughs, and it doesn't mean high-brow. It just means, 'wanna go have a drink?'

DLR Band means Dave, Lowery, and Ray. I named it that because it sounds more like a band than David Lee Roth, which just sounds like a person. When you hear David Lee Roth - you think of a person. When you hear DLR Band - you think of a band. Just like when you hear Eddie Van Halen you think of a person, and when you hear Van Halen - you think of David Lee Roth!

Self improvement...I plan to get some soon.

Between my Huck Finn existence running barefoot thru the great outdoors and having the best seat in the house for arguably the most important decade in the history of pop music, I had a formidable education.

I simply have to be creative all the time. I have to create new things. I never have writers block. You wanna figure out something to shoot? This is not an issue. You want some lyrics? This is not a problem. All of the ideas are constant. If nothing else, I am aware of what's going on around me. I always feel like I'm missing something unless I stay completely applied.

...Art is struggle. I love the struggle more than ever before. It's about dangerous waves of consequence. If there's no conflict I seem to create it, doc. Once something is stabilized, go bigger. We aren't innocents but we are abroad.

A banker will take a guitar and play three notes on it. A rock star will take a guitar and throw it across the room.

People come out of our concerts and feel invincible. They feel like a building could fall on them, nothing would happen. They feel like a car could hit them, nothing would happen. Frequently cars do hit them.

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

To me, it's not rocket surgery. It's very simple to put together. [About a possible Van Halen reunion]

"Hey, your girlfriend was partying with us backstage before the show, and she had a message for ya: 'mmfp mmf umf fmff mmm.'"
From Wikiwoute.org

"If there wasn't people like you, there could never be people like us."


Post Away...

[muffdiver]

"You're so sweet ya must shit sugar".....

[forrestjump]

You have to re-invest your enthusiasm for living large, Marge,....so large,....you need a barge.

[metro3454]

"Man this place is suffocating and its hard for me to breathe in here, kind of like it was in my last two relationships..."

[MF5150]

Don't stick your tongue out at me unless you intend to use it hunny.

Like a thunderbolt in your cheerios.

We're gonna turn all our amps and equipment backwards and play with our behind facing the audience that way everybody will be backstage.

Sam throws a hell of a party and I am the party.

The worst that will happen is that Sam cracks open a bottle of Cabo Wabo tequila and I end up cracking Sam with the bottle.

[FORD]

"There's Sammy again pounding on the door.... bottle of tequila in one hand and his dick in the other"

[lil'devil]

the funny thing is the dave'isms thing only works when you didn't know very much about him.

now that he has had the radio show, he's too familiar. daves clearly an intelligent well spoken dude, not the ascerbic edgy character we see him in the old photos.

now it's just dave'isms from that old dude.

[The Tom]

"...My grandaddy died dancing actually...At the end of a rope."

[The J Man]

"Hey ma, did I fuck you?"