I Should Start Drinking Again And Start A Band

[Axxman300]

[This is just about the funniest thing I've read. I'm actually thinking about tracking these guys down and partying with them]

** I put this in non-music because it's just so damned funny****


ArnoCorps
Arnold Schwarzenegger made the movies, but these rockers tell heroic tales through music -- the way they were meant to be told
- Tony DuShane
Thursday, November 16, 2006



It is best to let the members of ArnoCorps, an action-adventure rock band, tell their own story. It goes like this:

They emigrated from Austria and made their headquarters in San Francisco, where -- despite heavy accents -- they embarked on a mission to remind the world of Austrian folklore through their energetic stage presence and hard-rocking music.

"I was in the Austrian army," Holzfeuer, the lead singer, says. "Me and the guys in the group, we all had an admiration for these ancient heroes that were told in the folklore."

They say the stories are becoming less important among the new generation, and ArnoCorps is determined not to let their heroes die. "We've got to bring the spotlight on these stories. We're going to bring it to the people onstage. We're going to do it to music," Holzfeuer says.

Band members say that when they came to the United States they were shocked that certain people in Hollywood were bastardizing these stories. "I found out they were making movies sort of loosely based on these ancient stories, but the fact is they are meant to be told through music," Holzfeuer says. "So when they're making movies, it's like exploitation."

Holzfeuer says he has a lot of appreciation for his great-grandmother, who told him about the ancient stories of Austria. "She told me about 'Total Recall' and that had an impact on my ear holes,'' Holzfeuer says.

The stories in ArnoCorps' music include tales about a heroic man in songs like "Terminator," "Commando" and "Predator."

At this point, some people would start to think that ArnoCorps is an Arnold Schwarzenegger tribute band and that its show is an act. They don't see it that way. In 2004, ArnoCorps attempted to file a class-action lawsuit on behalf of the Austrian people against Hollywood studios for the exploitation of their ancestral mythology, but the suit never made it to court.

Holzfeuer says Schwarzenegger -- whom he often refers to as Schwarznoodle -- hired writers to transcribe the stories and adapt them to modern themes to sell screenplays and make films. Holzfeuer doesn't completely blame Hollywood for being hoodwinked. "These stories were so fantastic, they were great, these timeless hero tales. How could you turn them away? How could you say no?"

Even though the stories have made millions of dollars for Hollywood, ArnoCorps members stay positive in their mission.

"We're giving it back to the people where it belongs," says Vielmehr Klampfe, ArnoCorps' guitarist. "For free. Not for personal gain. Maybe for muscular gain."

ArnoCorps is fresh from its successful headline tour of the United Kingdom and Ireland. The band's success can partially be attributed to making sure its sound is based on the "heroic symmetry" of performing with two bassists and two guitarists.

Other ArnoCorps songs include "End of Days," "Last Action Hero" and "Running Man."

"Watching these movies, it doesn't help. There's no interaction. When you come see ArnoCorps, there is interaction because everybody participates," Holzfeuer says, puffing his cigar. "When people leave ArnoCorps' audio assaults, they will have much stronger self-worth. ... They are heroes, they can help people out, you know, help the old lady across the street, save the cat in the tree, crush their enemies."

[Red]

Ha, schnitzel metal. They're creative, gotta give 'em that.

Something tells me their "successful headline tour" involved butcher shop grand openings and parking lots.

The influence of Udo Dirkschneider (Accept lead singer) rages on.