STINGRAY JUMPS INTO BOAT AND STABS MAN IN CHEST

[sisca]

OK...YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.....

LIGHTHOUSE POINT, Fla. - An 81-year-old boater was in critical condition Thursday after a stingray flopped onto his boat and stabbed him, leaving a foot-long barb in his chest, authorities said.


"It was a freak accident," said Lighthouse Point acting fire Chief David Donzella. "It's very odd that the thing jumped out of the water and stung him. We still can't believe it."

Fatal stingray attacks like the one that killed "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin last month are rare, marine experts say. Rays reflexively deploy a sharp spine in their tails when frightened, but the venom coating the barb usually causes just a painful sting for humans.

James Bertakis of Lighthouse Point was on the water with his granddaughter and a friend Wednesday when the stingray flopped onto the boat and stung Bertakis. The women steered the boat to shore and called 911.

Surgeons were able to remove some of the barb, and Bertakis, who also suffered a collapsed lung, underwent surgery late Wednesday and early Thursday, the Miami Herald reported on its web site.

Ellen Pikitch, a professor of marine biology and fisheries at the University of Miami, who has been studying stingrays for decades, said they are generally docile.

"Something like this is really, really extraordinarily rare," she said. "Even when they are under duress, they don't usually attack."

[Scotty]

They've gone mad.

[Otis5150]

I say go Stingrays! They've been putting up with our shit for too long. It's payback time!

[The SLAWTERHOUSE Bug]

I can hear the trailer now:

"In a world gone insane, one species is finally taking out the trash...

STINGRAY... the BARBS of RETRIBUTION"

[Otis5150]

I can hear the trailer now:

"In a world gone insane, one species is finally taking out the trash...

STINGRAY... the BARBS of RETRIBUTION"

or..."Stingrays On a Boat". With Sam Jackson, of course.

"There's some MOTHERFUCKIN' stingrays on this MOTHERFUCKIN' boat!....MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

[the_atomic_punks_rule]

or..."Stingrays On a Boat". With Sam Jackson, of course.

"There's some MOTHERFUCKIN' stingrays on this MOTHERFUCKIN' boat!....MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

hahahaha

[The SLAWTERHOUSE Bug]

See, I thought mine was kinda lame, but I was hoping something great would use it as a springboard.

Thanks, Otis!

[Otis5150]

See, I thought mine was kinda lame, but I was hoping something great would use it as a springboard.

Thanks, Otis!

Not lame at all. In fact, maybe it'll be the sequel to "Stingrays On a Boat"?

[OLO]

or..."Stingrays On a Boat". With Sam Jackson, of course.

"There's some MOTHERFUCKIN' stingrays on this MOTHERFUCKIN' boat!....MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

LMAO!!!

[mistere]

Fuck it. This November I'm voting for stingrays.

[Otis5150]

Fuck it. This November I'm voting for stingrays.

I think you have to, if you know what's good for you. The party's over for us humans. Hopefully they like VH.

[chefcraig]

This happened a few miles from where I live. Fucking bizarre, to say the least.

This 81 year old guy was looking at beachfront property with his daughters. They were cruising along and this thing simply jumped into the boat!

From the pictures in the paper it was relatively small, yet the old guy fouled up by trying to "scoot" the fish back out of the boat and the stingray attacked.

Rule number One: Let the Captain of the boat fuck with things that fly into the boat. Chances are (and since he's paid to) he'll be able to handle the situation a tad better. You know, he might have some experiance.

[Otis5150]

The Stingray Revolution is upon us, people. Wake up.

[chefcraig]

The Stingray Revolution is upon us, people. Wake up.

Well we can be certain that at least two of the species are far more aggressive than their cousins, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

[Otis5150]

Well we can be certain that at least two of the species are far more aggressive than their cousins, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.