The Charles Darwin Awards Thread

[VanHalen2079]

Ok now we all know that Charles Darwin is given the title of father of Evolution, but these days the Darwin Award is not given to those who are bettering the gene pool by brilliance, but more by their lack thereof. For a better look checkout http://www.darwinawards.com

Anyway, we all know someone who has checked themselves out of the gene pool one way or another...or know someone who need is attempted to remove themselves but failed(making htem an honorary award winner) So I thought we'd share stories.

A good friend(Travis) of mines younger brother(Jesse) just turned 16 and was giving a dirt bike for his birthday. All is going well on this the day of his birthday when him and his friends get a streak of (un)brilliance. They decide to see how far they can jump this brand new dirt bike off the roof of the house. So Jesse climbs up on the roof and somehow they all manage to get this dirt bike on the roof and next thing that is heard is the revving of an engine, the whooo and hell yeahs from 3 teenage boys, a loud crashing sound, and a scream. Apparently when attempting this rather stupid stunt Jesse neglected to notice the rather large tree in the path of the bike where drove off the roof. Hanging from a tree branch by his shorts and later to be found his ballsack. After quite a bit of pointing and laughing by Travis and his dad, Jesse is retrieved from the tree and is taken to the hospital. Where after a week of waiting to see what they were going to do, Jesse was removed from the gene pool when his ruptured testicles were removed.

To add insult to injury, he's gotta reshingle the roof he destroyed as well.

[ZeoBandit]

There have been a ton of Darwin threads over the years. This would be a great place to consolidate them all.

Good idea.

Oh, and teh guy who put a rocket on his car and flew into the side of a mountain gets my vote for the biggest Darwin finalist.

[chefcraig]

At 1:10PM while in the public library, the fire alarm went off. About 50 of us exited the building and waited outside along with the staff. Shortly two firetrucks arrived. The firemen entered the building to make sure everything was safe inside.

In the interum, not one yet three people approached me and asked if the library was open, apparently ignoring the firetrucks (with flashing lights) and throng of people waiting outside.

As a result, I was looking for some place to post this.

Thank you.

[Otis5150]

One year, while decorating the Christmas tree, my 13 year-old brother was given the task of testing each set of lights to see if they worked. After he tested all of the lights and determined that none of them worked, we all pointed out that he might want to try plugging them in to an actual outlet - instead of plugging each set into the next and, effectively, creating a giant circle with no current running through it.

[ZeoBandit]

Not quite a Darwin winner since he survived, but close enough to put in this thread:

Man hurt after homemade rocket explodes during party stunt

(CNN) -- A 62-year-old Michigan man was severely burned when a homemade rocket strapped on his back exploded while he slid down a snowy hill on a sled, authorities said this week.

The rocket stunt was the grand finale on Saturday during the man's annual sledding party at his Oakland County, Michigan, home, the sheriff's department said.

"He is known for doing 'crazy things' at his parties," an Oakland County sheriff's department statement said. "On this date, after consuming an unknown quantity of alcohol, he constructed a device out of a motorcycle muffler and pipe."

Inside the makeshift rocket, the victim placed gunpowder, heads from matches and gasoline. He donned a helmet and took a sled to the top of a snowy embankment.

"He asked another person to light a wick and then began to sled down a hill. At some point during the ride downhill, the device exploded. The results of the explosion were second-degree burns to the victim's face," the sheriff's department statement said.

No one else was injured during the incident.

The man, whose identity is not yet known, was hospitalized with significant damage to one of his eyes and could face criminal charges, authorities said.

[Daisy Hill]

Police: Driver of brakeless pickup hits 4 cars when he is twice unable to stop for red lights

ROSEVILLE, Mich. — The feet of a 24-year-old Detroit-area man failed him as he tried to use them to brake his pickup on a busy highway.
.
Roseville Police Deputy Chief James Berlin said the man rolled about two miles on Groesbeck Highway while sticking his feet outside his truck in attempts to stop it, hitting four vehicles along the way.
Berlin said the man admitted he knew the brakes weren't working but wanted to get home because he was tired and had to go to work the next day. The chief called it a case of "moronic decision-making," reported The Detroit News.
He was unable to stop the truck at a red light at the intersection of 13 Mile and Groesbeck, ran the light and hit two vehicles, Berlin said. He continued on and hit two more at another intersection, Berlin said.
He said the driver was finally stopped when an officer caught up with him and told him to put the truck in park.
"I just can't believe anybody would think for a second they could make it home using their feet as a brake," Berlin said.

No one was injured during Wednesday afternoon's accidents, but the man received a citation for reckless driving. Berlin said the man passed field sobriety tests, but his driver's license also was suspended at the time of the accidents.
He faces charges of reckless driving and driving with a suspended license.
"It's so stupid, it's comical. But it could have been very tragic," Berlin said.
Msnbc.com contributed to this report.

[Daisy Hill]

Baby sitter charged after riding with infant in back of truck through Daytona
BY PATRICIO G. BALONA, STAFF WRITER

DAYTONA BEACH -- Several people called 9-1-1 when they noticed a baby in a stroller riding along in the bed of a pickup Wednesday afternoon, police said.

Soon, two officers were following the old white Dodge truck that carried the 8-month-old child and his baby sitter in the back of the vehicle, police said.

One of the officers was videotaping the smiling 23-year-old Keyona Nichole Davis as she sat next to the stroller, her left arm on the carrier.

But police saw nothing amusing about the mode of transportation chosen to ferry the infant about.

Davis, who could not be reached for comment Thursday, was charged with child neglect.

Police, who stopped Davis and the driver of the truck at 321 Adams St., said Davis should have "reasonably concluded that an 8-month-old in the bed of a pickup is a highly dangerous situation and incredibly unsafe."

Before the truck was stopped, the driver had taken it through Mason Avenue, Nova Road and Orange Avenue.

Officers said those thoroughfares are among the "most traveled roadways and intersections in the county" and the baby could have suffered serious injury or death.

When the child's mother was called to the scene and told what happened, she burst into tears, the arrest report shows. It's not clear if the driver of the truck, identified only as B. White, was charged, too.

[Bullwinkle]

1912. Franz Reichelt demonstrates his flying machine at the Eiffel tower.

[LLFHS]

Police: Driver of brakeless pickup hits 4 cars when he is twice unable to stop for red lights

ROSEVILLE, Mich. — The feet of a 24-year-old Detroit-area man failed him as he tried to use them to brake his pickup on a busy highway.
.
Roseville Police Deputy Chief James Berlin said the man rolled about two miles on Groesbeck Highway while sticking his feet outside his truck in attempts to stop it, hitting four vehicles along the way.
Berlin said the man admitted he knew the brakes weren't working but wanted to get home because he was tired and had to go to work the next day. The chief called it a case of "moronic decision-making," reported The Detroit News.
He was unable to stop the truck at a red light at the intersection of 13 Mile and Groesbeck, ran the light and hit two vehicles, Berlin said. He continued on and hit two more at another intersection, Berlin said.
He said the driver was finally stopped when an officer caught up with him and told him to put the truck in park.
"I just can't believe anybody would think for a second they could make it home using their feet as a brake," Berlin said.

No one was injured during Wednesday afternoon's accidents, but the man received a citation for reckless driving. Berlin said the man passed field sobriety tests, but his driver's license also was suspended at the time of the accidents.
He faces charges of reckless driving and driving with a suspended license.
"It's so stupid, it's comical. But it could have been very tragic," Berlin said.
Msnbc.com contributed to this report.

I heard this story on KNX 1070 am yesterday on the way home from work.

I shit you not they were playing the Flintstones theme behind it.

[Daisy Hill]

Deputies: Would-be robber fills out job application at DeBary adult store
BY PATRICIO G. BALONA, STAFF WRITER
March 8, 2012 10:30 AM
DEBARY -- An employee of a DeBary store that sells erotic merchandise talked a would-be robber into filling out a job application, and deputies used the document to track down the suspect, a sheriff's spokesman said this morning.

Cody Conner, 17, of DeBary, was arrested and charged with armed robbery, said sheriff's spokesman Brandon Haught.

Conner walked into the store, Cupid's Corner, at 20 South Charles R, Bealle Blvd. at 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, pulled out a gun and demanded money, Haught said.

The clerk, Cheryl Hunter, 32, working at the store convinced Conner to put the gun away and talk. During the conversation, Conner said he was down on his luck, Haught said.

Hunter said there might be a job at the store for Conner and had the would-be robber fill out an application.

"The employee asked him (Conner) to fill out a job application and he did," Haught said. "Deputies used the application and were able to track him down."