Terrible Songs on Great Albums

[Wickett]

http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdail...-great-albums/

From rollingstone.com 7/12/06

List of the Day: Terrible Songs on Great Albums
You know what we’re talking about: That song that makes you grateful for the invention of the “skip” button, on that album you can’t stop playing, which means that you don’t stop skipping …

Here are our pet peeves, those imperfections in the Navajo carpet of a great album which remind us that these artists are human:

The Beatles, “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” on Abbey Road

The Who, “Squeeze Box” on The Who By Numbers

The Police, “Be My Girl - Sally” on Outlandos D’Amour

The Velvet Underground, “The Gift” on White Light/White Heat

James Brown, “Spinning Wheel” on Sex Machine

Led Zeppelin, “In The Light” on Physical Graffiti

Pink Floyd, “Waiting for the Worms” on The Wall

Simon & Garfunkel, “Voices of Old People” on Bookends

AC/DC, “Let Me Put My Love Into You” on Back In Black

Run-DMC, “Perfection” on Raising Hell

What are yours?

-- RS Staff

[LLFHS]

Rolling Stone can go eat a diseased ass.
Having them judge music is like having David Duke speak at an NAACP banquet.

[Greenpaw]

Led Zeppelin, “In The Light” on Physical Graffiti

I fuckin HATE Rolling Stone. "In The Light" is a great song.


Rolling Stone magazine is not worthy enough to be used as Robert Plant's toilet paper.

[Viking]

AC/DC, “Let Me Put My Love Into You” on Back In Black

I agree with that one completely. The rest I could give two shits about. It's not stuff that I listen to anyway.

[DreamIsOver]

Pearl Jam "Hey Foxymophandlemama, That's Me" on Vitalogy

[chefcraig]

Let me get this straight. Compile a list of some of the better tunes on some very popular albums, number them, then publish them in a column titled "Terrible Songs On Great Albums" to fill in the space that was once held by advertisements, yet no longer is because even advertisers know that Rolling Stone lost it's relevance years ago.

Is that the general idea?

Thanks for saving me the time and money on actually buying the fucking thing. Besides, I hit a great sale on Charmin at Publix, thus making the magazine's purchase redundant, anyway.

[MackieMan]

"Mother" on Police's Synchronicity. It is the only song I didn't transfer from the Message in a Box compilation to my iPod.

[sixstring]

Those idiot critics over at RS are SO hipocritical it's sad. I bet a lot of those tunes were praised when they were initially released...and now they want to shit on them because they're not what's 'happening' today... Puh-LEASE...gimme a break. They've just completely lost touch with reality over there...

To whom it may concern over at RS...

...Fuck Yourself!
Lyrics by Steve Vai

Fuck yourself with a rubber hose
Stick it in your mouth and down your throat
Up your nose and in your heinie hole
I don't care where it goes
And it don't matter if you're straight or gay
You should fuck yourself anyway

Now, you don't have to listen to a word I say
But I know you, you'll be humpin' away
Fuck yourself with your neighbor's nose
If you can't use that, use a 10-foot pole
Stick it up your ass and go for a stroll
Everyone will know you've been to this show

If you can't take, eat my stool
Masturbate with some crazy glue
I don't care what you do
Fock yourself with a garden tool

Fuck yourself with politics
Ahh they're full of fuckin' fuckin' shit
I mean you know we've been lied to ever since we were born
It's amazing that we've been getting fucked that long

Fuck yourself with the world wide web
Man you could ride that sucker right from your bed
You may even meet a Tom, Dick, Jane or Billy
Then grab onto your modem and fuck yourself silly

Fuck yourself with your heart and soul
Give it everything you got, hey I'm talkin' to you
If you can't even fuck yourself,
How ya gonna fuck somebody else?

Fuck yourself with my microphone
I'll give it to you later when we're all alone
We can turn it up loud
And see if you come, but
Don't get your jizz on my microphone

Fuck yourself with organized religion
Now that is some seriously sinnin' business
If the Lord sees their pathetic crimes
He'll be fuckin' them 'til the end of time

And can someone explain to me this racist crap
I know it isn't white, but it isn't black
And to all you people who only see things your way
Well, you can suck my dick and take all day

Fuck your nose with a pound of blow
Watch your money get up and go
but when you burnt your brain and you say
I don't know!
I hate to tell you but I told you so

Fuck yourself with this grunge rock noise
I mean, stuff those albums in your groin
They come down on me because I know how to play -
Hey... fuck you!

Fuck yourself with a copy of Rolling Stone
Or are they too holy for your holiest of holes
Now those people think they're holier than Moses
But aren't they just a bunch of fuckin' posers


Fuck yourself with your mother's jewelry
I won't tell, I ain't a stooly
If you pounce hard enough you'll cough up a ruby
Your blood will be rich and so will your doodie

Fuck yourself with the latest fashion
With your spikes and your hair and those cute little buttons
And if you happen to have some leather and lace
Fuck yourself 'til you're blue in the face

Fuck yourself with your income tax
They're fucking you and that's a fact
Before you know it your money's all spent
And you've just been fucked by the government

Fuck yourself with your lawyer friend
You're the only one that's getting fucked in the end
I have been so fucked by legal bills
that my asshole is the size of Beverly Hills

Fuck yourself with your full-length sweater
With your minks and your diamonds and your Irish Setter
With your cash and your trash and your sinks and your drinks
Just fuck yourself 'til you can't even think
Those of you who enjoy this song
thank you thank you, I love you
Let's get it on
But for those of you who are totally outraged
Fuck yourself with your face



There. I feel SO much better now...

[SuckaInA3Piece]

I fuckin HATE Rolling Stone. "In The Light" is a great song.


Rolling Stone magazine is not worthy enough to be used as Robert Plant's toilet paper.

I second that. In The Light was one of the first songs I tried to play on guitar. That tune fuckin kicks major ass. Love the build up in that one.

Fuck RS!

[Wickett]

Interesting responses. I didn't agree with most of the ones listed (of the records I have), as well.

I didn't anticipate this much venom towards RS in general. I have no opinion on it one way or the other, just interesting..

[chefcraig]

I didn't anticipate this much venom towards RS in general. I have no opinion on it one way or the other, just interesting..

I won't attempt to speak for others, yet for me RS has showed as much astute foresight in the past 15-20 years as Major League Baseball.

Where to begin? One could start with the curious and false ceremony of the RRHOF, and Rolling Stone's less than altruistic means of pursuing it. This convoluted mess started with good intentions, yet basically has turned into a suckfest for aging industry insiders to celebrate (through a convoluted electoral process) certain artists while ignoring others, all so they bathe in reflected glory. (Jann Wenner is on the board of the RRHOF, leading to extensive coverage of what has become a rather ho-hum and meaningless event.)

How about the magazine's truly rudderless policy of what constitutes a viable, worthwhile talent nowadays? The yearly "Poll" of the 10 best albums would lead to, if purchased, one of the most over-priced collection of beer coasters ever seen.(Consistency? A record that is slammed in February is called a "must own" in December. )

Then there are the various "Greatest Guitarist" or "Greatest Albums" issues that are periodically dished out with a load of hype, that once and again show how out of touch the magazine's editorial staff really is, usually picking some "flash in the pan" (that will be forgotten in two years, let alone by the end of the summer) over a true and proven artist with a track-record or established career.

This is called pandering. It is also alienating to one who had at one time been a subscriber, for as long as 25 years, yet elected not to renew the said subscription as a result.

The ultimate consequence? Rolling Stone offers me little that is surprising or insightful. It just continues to plunge ever deeper beneath mediocrity, a status it achieved a decade ago.

[Van Squalen]

In the Light and Let me Put my Love Into You Babe?

Are you kidding me?

Sheesh.

[Mikey Metalhead]

this type of list is a cool idea, but what Idiot came up with the RS list. Those are all good songs.

[Viking]

I'm sorry, but I can't stand "Let Me Put My Love Into You" by AC/DC. I skip that song every time I play that CD. It has to be my least favorite AC/DC song ever.

On the subject of Rolling Stone though, I agree with everyone else. They have never been relevant in my opinion, and are less so as the years go on.

[willy4pres]

That shitty rag can go fuck itself.

And I honestly like "Let me put my love into you" a lot, it's one of my favorite song's off Back In Black.