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Thread: Funny sayings...
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06.24.06, 02:13 PM #1Take Your Whiskey Home
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Funny sayings...
We've got funny pics, stupid jokes, beautiful girls & parental advice. How 'bout some funny sayings. I'll start:
I'm out w/ some co-workers drinking a while back & one buddy proposes a toast:
"Here's to the crack that never heals & the more you rub it the better it feels."
Anybody else?-TVH-
There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult. -Warren Buffett
If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine
What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison
Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford
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06.24.06, 03:33 PM #2I'm The One
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"Fuck me running" and "Its on like chicken"-Not sure what either of them mean.
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If looks could kill, I'd stare at everybody!
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06.24.06, 03:54 PM #3carpe damn diem
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06.24.06, 04:26 PM #4Everybody Wants Some!!
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Most of the zingers I've heard have come from my uncle.....
"I dunno, but I've been told.....Eskimo pussy's mighty cold."
"Sharp as a marble"
"Dumber than a box of hair"
and this gem....
"You're making about as much sense as an Amish man buying batteries."LowLifeFlatHeadScum
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06.24.06, 04:33 PM #5Take Your Whiskey Home
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In the same vein as F#&K me running, I'll add:
"F#&k me to tears"
"S&%t the bed"
"Well, as long as your here w/ your teeth in."
"It runs like a pickle seeder."
I too am not sure what they mean.
Ted-TVH-
There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult. -Warren Buffett
If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine
What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison
Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford
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06.24.06, 04:43 PM #6Somebody Get Me A Doctor
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Dumb as a bag of hammers.
Worthless as a Hen with a Flag.
I'm going to tear you up like Kleenex at a snot party.
Usless at tits on a warthog.
She fucks like a Jack Rabbit on acid."Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai
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06.24.06, 10:20 PM #7The Full Bug
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stick your head in between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye!
[On the House Un-American Activities Committee] "They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem."- Humphrey Bogart
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".- George Carlin
"I just think people should be very free with sex. They should draw the line at goats." - Elton John
"I'm just trying to figure out why you don’t have any clothes on," the deputy said.
"Me too," Krauss replied.
"Don’t forget! One sperm can ruin your whole day!"
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06.24.06, 10:32 PM #8Top Of The World
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It's hotter than a whore in a pecker patch
She's finer than frog's hair spilt four ways
He/she's richer than nine kinds of bull$h1t
F!#% you and the horse you rode in on
I wouldn't f!@# her with your d!c#
Definately Texan sayings it seems...Artists I Have Seen: 1D, 38 Special, Aerosmith, Alabama, Bad Company, Bad English, Billy Squire, Bob Seger, Bon Jovi, Boston, BTO, Cheap Trick, Chicago, Chickenfoot, Cinderella, Daughtry, Dave Matthews Band, Default, Def Leppard, Dio, Dokken, Drowning Pool, Eagles, Earth Wind & Fire, Eddie Money, Eric Clapton, Farenheit, Fleetwood Mac, Foreigner, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Glass Tiger, Heart, Huey Lewis and the News, Jackson Browne, Jimmy Buffett, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Joe Bonamassa, John Mellencamp, Journey, Keel, Kingdom Come, Kings X, KISS, Kool and the Gang, Krokus, Lionel Richie, Little River Band, Lou Gramm, Loverboy, Los Lonely Boys, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Metallica, Michael Bolton, Nickelback, Night Ranger, Paul Stanley, Peter Frampton, Pink Floyd, Poison, Red Rider, REO Speedwagon, Santana, Sammy Hagar, Shinedown, Steely Dan, Steve Miller Band, Styx, Ted Nugent, Tesla, The 1975, The Black Crowes, The Roots, The Wallflowers, U2, Van Halen, Whitesnake, Zac Brown Band, ZZ Top
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06.24.06, 11:04 PM #9Somebody Get Me A Doctor
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I forget who said it here but I am fond of "Christ on a Cracker".
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06.24.06, 11:04 PM #10Somebody Get Me A Doctor
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Another one I like is drop your cock and grab your socks.
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06.24.06, 11:29 PM #11Somebody Get Me A Doctor
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"Christ on a crutch!"
"Holy Balls!"
"That's what I always say sometimes."
"I wouldn't fuck her with a wagon tongue!"
"Fucked up like a soup sandwich."
"He could fall into a barrel full of tits and come out sucking his thumb.""Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)
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06.25.06, 12:12 AM #12Everybody Wants Some!!
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Taking the Lord's name in vain is always a good source of comedy.
Originally Posted by onefootoutthedoor
A gym coach in high school debuted this gem...."Jesus H Christ on a popcicle stick!"LowLifeFlatHeadScum
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06.25.06, 12:13 AM #13Everybody Wants Some!!
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Originally Posted by Axxman300
Ahhh...."O Brother Where Art Thou".
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06.25.06, 08:03 AM #14carpe damn diem
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Not these two! Originally Posted by Summer Nights in Cabo
I used to have a roommate who said "I wouldn't kick her out of bed...yes, I would, there's more room on the floor"
And in the vein of "I wouldn't f!@# her with your d!c#", there's the ol' standard "I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole"
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06.25.06, 08:37 AM #15Somebody Get Me A Doctor
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One more I remembered:
"If I had been Dolly Parton's kid, with my luck, I would have been bottle fed!""Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)
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