Kickin' it Old School, or The Way We Were

[Longtime Lurker]

Most of you probably don't remember me.

I started checking out VHForums (then doing business as VHLinks) in November 1999, just after Gary left. I registered in January or February 2000 and started posting. I was pretty much myself in the posts -- i.e., a bastard. Where there was a nasty argument, I was often there. I tended to respond to posts that, in my opinion, were outrageous, misinformed or just generally stupid (e.g., Georgie's, which tended to be heavy on all three elements). I didn't have a lot of fans, though I would suspect I had a small amount of grudging admiration and respect from the diehards here.

I left the board in October 2000 because of work and other life issues. I made a brief return in the spring/summer of 2001, but it was short-lived. The piss and vinegar, if you will, were no longer there. The board was still its kick-ass self, but what had changed was the prospects of a reunion and my own attitude towards it. I made a few posts, but never got back into the ebb and flow of life on the board.

In some sense, this is a goodbye post, but not really since, like I said, most people reading this won't remember me, and also because I haven't posted regularly here in over a year. It's a goodbye post only because I don't plan on posting here again.

I thought for my last post it would be pretty cool to do a montage/flashback kind of thing of all the strange and funny shit I witnessed and participated in on here from November 1999 - October 2000.

So without further adieu . . . I give you The Way We Were, or at least The Way I Remember.

1. Gary leaves: People flipping out on the board, the first of many rumors starts with some people talking about Van Halen and Dave doing something together on New Year's Eve. That's New Year's Eve 1999! Good grief.

2. Dave(?) Graphics on Official Site: In late 1999, the official site had a couple of splash screens that caused a lot of speculation here. One was a cartoon of the band as skeletons, and the lead singer in the cartoon was doing a mid-air split just like Dave. Interesting! A later splash screen led to some funnier speculation. If I remember right, it was a couple of alien spaceships "beaming up" a couple of people from the ground. Some people claimed one of the figures was Dave. Anybody remember how goddamn TINY this figure was?? I don't know how anyone could say it was anyone in particular. But, like everything else, it added to the flavor of the board.

3. DMAN: Anybody remember this bitch? The first self-proclaimed "insider" I can remember. He hung out in the old Slawterhouse lounge and, for months, engaged in this strange "I'm in the know, get to know me and you too can be in the know" kind of thing. A lot of people drank this bitch's Kool-Aid, if you know what I'm saying. The whole Slawterhouse lounge was swinging on this guy's nuts, and it eventually made its way over to Links. He gave out, to anyone who asked politely and made conversation with him for a few minutes, a list of -- if I remember correctly -- song titles for the new album and a reunion announcement date. And he told everyone to keep it a secret and always used the words "TRUST and RESPECT" like some kind of mantra. When the date didn't pan out, the message boards EXPLODED!! And then DMAN himself, if I remember correctly, came here and wigged out at everyone for spreading the info he had asked be kept secret. I think he even implied that there was no announcement because the band was pissed the word had leaked out LOL. Someone here (Glenn? Brett?) very dryly and brilliantly wrote a reply along the lines of "ummm . . . if you tell a few dozen perfect strangers something, it's likely they will not keep it a secret."

4. Hasselhoff: Some genius in the Slawterhouse lounge started writing joke posts about David Hasselhoff joining Van Halen. Damn, what was that guy's name. Those posts were really fucking intelligent and funny. And everybody got into it. Those jokes continue to this day; I see someone mention it every so often. Some of you might remember that somebody posted a news story that allegedly appeared in a German music magazine (Hasselhoff is huge in Germany) claiming Hasselhoff was the new singer, and with quotes from the President of a German Van Halen fan club and stuff like that. Confession time: I wrote that story. I found a Hasselhoff fan site, took down some obscure facts about him (e.g., awards, album titles, etc.), tried to sound official, and made up some names and quotes. It found its way to Links. It never appeared in a German music magazine. To whatever extent anybody got a kick out of that article, I owe it all to the dude who came up with the joke in the first place. What the hell was his name?? Harshman?? Jeff Harshman maybe?

5. Bill O'Neil: I don't know if I'm spelling this guy's name right. And I don't even really know what happened, it was before my time. I caught the very tail end of it after it was over I think. But there was some guy named Bill O'Neil, and people called him Bill O'Meal, and the Whale, and shit like that. Dudes like FORD and others. I don't know exactly what happened, but there were lots of references to it and, at the time I first came here, it was part of the flavor of the board.

6. MelodicRock feels the wrath: Medlodicrock.com posted a long story on the reunion based on rumors the webmaster had heard from what he thought was a legit source. Overall, the story was quite negative about a reunion happening. Nobody wanted to hear it!! The MelodicRock message boards got an earful from the Linkers!! I think for a while they banned Van Halen messages there as a result.

7. Fake press release: Anyone remember the fake Warner Brothers press release from late 1999/early 2000? Someone did a fairly nice job with it. Warner Brothers logo, official sounding, short and to the point saying that Dave was in, everyone was happy, and they were working in a new album. Some wiseguys here, I forget who, eventually admitted they wrote it.

8. EUAS Invasion: I remember when EUAS first started up. House of Pain. Vinnie Velvet. Pojo. Hain. Laying the smack down LOL. I am a diehard Rothaholic, but I could never get down with this crew. Not that I didn't admire some of their work. It was some funny shit to watch, though definitely annoying at times, too. Lots of drama. I remember House of Pain talking about himself in the third person (e.g., "You started this fight, but the House is gonna have to finish it.") Again, just part of the flavor. Then they left Links, then they came back, and then I guess left again.

9. Massive growth: I remember the membership on the board, and the number of posts, exploding in 2000. I remember Brett handing out an award to somebody (Spanish Doctor?) for making post 25,000 on here. And I remember him being like, "What? Ummm, okay COOL!" How many posts is this place up to now???? I remember when the board hit 1,000 members, maybe in the summer of 2000?. And I remember there being a lot of "promise" in the air at the time about the band. It was a fun time.

10. July 4, 2000 VH Reunion in RFK Stadium: A ticket broker, somewhere in the South I think, was distributing a flyer listing upcoming concerts for which they would be brokering tickets. The flyer claimed Van Halen was playing RFK Stadium on July 4, 2000. If only . . . . . Lots of excitement here about it.

11. Sherman: Good Lord, what a ruckus this dude caused. The debates!! "I've seen pictures of him in 5150!!," said one. "He's a lying sack!!," said another. It went on and on. He eventually left, claiming he was tired of it. Man did he work people up.

12. Ashley Abernathy: Dave recorded a cute little song for a young girl with leukemia. Georgie accused Dave of doing it to get the publicity. Anybody remember THAT day? People FLIPPED. I had a lot to do with it. Then I called Georgie out, accusing him and another poster of being one and the same given that they wrote in the exact same style, mispelled the exact same words (e.g., each separately made references to the long-obscure Rubik's Cube toy, and they both mispelled it the same way), and had very similar profiles (same/similar occupation, etc.). Draw your own conclusions. Anyway, Georgie (BTW, does he still tell everyone about his job at MTV?) came back and said this other poster was his cousin , whose mother or father had died of cancer, and THAT was why he was so opinionated about Dave's recording of the song. Hard to argue with that. At some point along the way Brett had enough and so had most people. And no way I was going to taken on this identity issue. An ugly day.

13. Eddie Italian: This guy still here? Eddie, if you are, I never talked to you on here but you were a good thing for the board. So goddamn positive! YUNK, bitch! The international flavor made the board cool.

14. May 15, 2000: 5/15/00. 5150. Get it? Anybody remember? VH reunion on May 15, 2000. It kind of made sense, and was a nice idea. I wish it was true.

Just a bunch of shit off the top of my head. I'm sure there's a lot more but I'm not remembering it now, and this post is too long already. Add your own shit as replies.

Anyway, a big thanks to everyone on Links/Forums. A non-inclusive list: Brett (a saint), Glenn, Slawterhouse Bug, Vinnie Velvet, House of Pain, Pojo, Hain, Eddie Italian, Angel4U, LeadSynth, Spanish Doctor, FORD, JeffHarshman (the Hasselhoff guy?), Sweet William, VHND (Grant), THE MARD (we always argued but I liked you just the same), Tim, and so many others. And a big "Fuck you" to Georgie and Vince (but even now I'm grinning). Wishing ALL of you, and everyone I forgot, peace, luck, and joy. Adios.

[FORD]

See ya round Lurker!!

Hopefully someday in the near future, Eddie will pull his head out of his ass and give you a reason to come back this way...

As for the Bill O'Neill story.... I wouldn't even know where to begin with that one.

[The SLAWTERHOUSE Bug]

Well I remember yaz, Lurker! One hell of a synopsis ya got, there. Went to revisit some of the threads you contributed to - aah, thems was the dayz...

Gonna miss your mastery of the syllogism, 'mano. Come back any excuse you get, okay?

[laner]

cool post bro. [img]smile.gif[/img] ahh, the good old days. i remember alot of that stuff too. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Stuff No More]

Originally posted by Longtime Lurker:
14. May 15, 2000: 5/15/00. 5150. Get it? Anybody remember? VH reunion on May 15, 2000. It kind of made sense, and was a nice idea. I wish it was true.

Grant really bought into this idea too. Hell, I remember hanging out on the board all day just waiting for the news to break. Pushed me over the top for my first 1,000 posts here.

I also remember being one of the people that spoke out about DMAN before the story proved not to be true. Took some shit for it too at the time, having people say stuff like, "DMAN's the real deal; don't know DMAN." What a joke.

Have a nice life, Lurker. We never tangled personally, but it was a pleasure - kept things interesting around here way back before the Army and the PD.

[billy007]

I remember the Longtime Lurker. I think occasionally we thought you might know something. I remember a few tiffs you had with the likes of Georgie and Vince - though not the Ashley Abernathy one. Good rundown of the past couple of years. "...those were good times, damn good times..." Take care, man.

[Brett]

Yeah Dave's "Damn Good" might work well here as background music. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Take care Lurker, funny that you remembered so much from the last 2 1/2 years, so much shit I've forgotten.

[noodeling]

Bye Lurker,
your last post was a great abstract of the "good old days" here on the links.
Take care and stay cool.

[TrapZZ]

man those are some good memories - I found The Links when DMAN's prediction was on VHND - i started searching for any van-halen site which might have some info.

and then I found my home - The Links

good stuff, hopefully - we'll get much more to speculate about in the future, it wouldn't be the same without it