Bands Aren't all Happy Joy Joy--VH Reuinion thoughts.

**5150 Mean St** · 08.29.02, 06:10 PM

Okay, I was once a part of a band. I can tell you now--when friends split, it is very ugly, and can be damaging. Our band started about a year and a half ago. I was the rhythm guitar player, my friend we'll call him Joe was lead guitar, Bob was Bass, his pal Rob was drums, and Joe's girlfriend Nancy was the singer.

We were all brand new to our respective positions, but the problems were there from the beginning. When we started, Nancy wasn't Joe's girlfriend--she was Bob's. That changed when Nancy cheated on Bob with Joe. Bob forgave them, and we kept going.

However, scars were there--when Nancy and Joe had cheated on Bob, they weren't going to tell him. So I had to. Bob and Nancy forgot about it--but Joe took a deep-rooted loathing to me. Basically, a rift formed. He wanted me out, but met with strong resistance from Bob and Rob. So, he just started treating me like dirt. He wouldn't let me do my parts of songs, wouldn't let me have any say in what we did, told me I was horrible, etc. etc.

Eventually, we all relented and Joe got his way. He kicked me out.

We didn't talk to each other--at all--for about a year. They went on as a band and did their thing.

A while ago, we reconciled and did some jams together. Only Joe was unwilling to let anyone play the guitar--so he let me sing. I'll admit I'm not the best singer, but we jammed and had fun.

Or so I thought, anyway.

Rob and Bob had a blast, as did I. It was the first time we'd jammed together in about a year. But Joe said "don't get comfortable, it's just a fling. Nancy is the singer" yada yada, which really pissed us off--but I just smiled and said "sure thing, bud" glad to have my friend back.

Nancy made it difficult. Let me tell you: when she isn't bitching about the weather, her food, her clothes, her waist size, or something, she's bitching about one of us. That took it's toll, but we all beared her for Joe's sake.

It boiled over this week. The Band is now officially split. Me, Bob and the "manager" Vic let them have it with all cylinders, letting Nancy know just what we thought of her. She was the driving force for getting me kicked out, for making Stu as bossy and greedy as he was, and we let them have it.

Stu "kicked" Bob out of the band.

Now, this is sort of a Sammy Hagar/VH Situation. If we'd been casual acquaintances, all of us just woulda shrugged and gone our seperate ways. But we were very good friends with Joe, and even Nancy, for quite some time. So it really stung. We haven't talked since, and the one time all of us bumped into each other, it was the iciest staredown I'd ever seen.

My point is, is that when Sammy and VH split, it was like that--they were best friends, had been for about 10 years. These guys were great buddies. To have this split would have hurt both of them like a sonofabitch.

Bands don't work that well--90% of the time, something goes wrong. Something fucks up, etc. So everybody who says that VH should "get off their lazy asses and do something", should really think about the hurt feelings and shit that went through these guys, and how that takes their toll. They're only human. I know how it feels to split over something as trivial as music, and it sucks.

~5150~

**MikeL** · 08.29.02, 06:27 PM

The Sam/Eddie friendship has been overplayed. Their relationship had deteriorated slowly over the years prior to the split, and there didn't seem to be much left when Sam got the boot. It wasn't a sudden thing.

**mars** · 08.29.02, 06:30 PM

My band just stopped. We never quit, we just didn't call each other anymore. I haven't spoken to the guys is over 3 years. This was a fairly serious band too - we got to the stage of supporting Savage Garden in different cities. It's the weirdest thing....

**Sean** · 08.30.02, 04:59 AM

Originally posted by MikeL:
The Sam/Eddie friendship has been overplayed. Their relationship had deteriorated slowly over the years prior to the split, and there didn't seem to be much left when Sam got the boot. It wasn't a sudden thing.

I'm not arguing here but merely wondering what your source of this information is. Like the first poster, I was always under the impression that theres was a strong friendship. What you said, though, is true of almost any relationship--they're always great guns when they start and tend to fade with time. Just like when you meet a girl for the first time and you really hit it off. Right away you're jacked and she's the greatest thing in the world. But, it doesn't take long for the newness to fade and for her to start noticing every little petty thing she thinks you're doing wrong. Anyway, just curious as to your source of this information because other than what came out after the split I was under a different impression. Peace.

**AJW** · 08.30.02, 12:36 PM

Originally posted by MikeL:
The Sam/Eddie friendship has been overplayed. Their relationship had deteriorated slowly over the years prior to the split, and there didn't seem to be much left when Sam got the boot. It wasn't a sudden thing.

Thank you, someone has seen the light.

**DiamondSyxx** · 08.30.02, 12:44 PM

5150MS... dude, does VH1 know about you guys??? That's a Behind The Music waiting to happen if I ever heard one...

Sucks that things don't work out, but isn't rule #1 when you have a lead singer 'nobody fucks the singer'? Look what it did to Jefferson UFO-Space-Shuttle-whatever-the-fuck-it-is-this-week, Fleetwood Mac... "Don't get your meat where ya make your bread", ya know?

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**MikeL** · 08.30.02, 12:46 PM

Originally posted by Sean:
I'm not arguing here but merely wondering what your source of this information is. Like the first poster, I was always under the impression that theres was a strong friendship.

There's no single source, but according to Sammy things started to deteriorate before Ed Leffler died. By the Balance tour the brothers had their own dressing room and limo, and Sam and Mike had a seperate one. Sam and Ed might have been fast friends in the beginning, but things changed.

That's my main gripe about those who say "Sammy and Eddie were great friends, so a reunion would work." Business issues destroyed their friendship. Any reunion would, at heart, be a business venture.

**Bob_R** · 08.30.02, 07:38 PM

Originally posted by MikeL:
The Sam/Eddie friendship has been overplayed. Their relationship had deteriorated slowly over the years prior to the split, and there didn't seem to be much left when Sam got the boot. It wasn't a sudden thing.

Good point Mike!

Edward has said that Sammy was a problem for every album except 5150.