The Whimpering Frankenhooker Stratbastard Transcendence of Edward Van Halen...

[theodore templeman]

Corrosively we conduct our speculative rambling much to the amusement and discontent of the throngs and masses. But it is the lightning rod of the demonically evil power chord strangled out of the wrung neck of a whimpering Frankenhooker Stratbastard with humbucking pickups weeping a brown secretion known only as THE RIFF. It is at the feet of this Guitar God that we see liquid pools of rock n' roll ejaculate forming and gleefully we swan dive into the bacterialogical mire and frolick diregarding the need for any kind of synthetic protection. Friends, I invite you to join me in worship and reverence for the umbilical thoughts of the intoxicated sailor: The sailor who sails the deep, deep storm laden oceans of wonder in which we plumb the beauty and transcendence that is the magic of the up-stroked sixteenth note as plucked by the hand of MR. EDWARD VAN HALEN!!!!

[Dirtymovie]

Crank the tunes and pass the bong, dude! [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img]

[Executionor]

Holy shit I think I need a couple more beers to get that deep! [img]graemlins/bounce.gif[/img]

[WARHEAD]

Without a doubt, that's the money shot! That's a wrap!

[seenbad]

Originally posted by theodore templeman:
Corrosively we conduct our speculative rambling much to the amusement and discontent of the throngs and masses.

I disagree. It is communitive and heartfelt drudgery bringing about spiritualism and oneness of true musical comingtogetherness between different parsecs of the musical cultural awareness of our consticting secular society.

But it is the lightning rod of the demonically evil power chord strangled out of the wrung neck of a whimpering Frankenhooker Stratbastard with humbucking pickups weeping a brown secretion known only as THE RIFF. It is at the feet of this Guitar God that we see liquid pools of rock n' roll ejaculate forming and gleefully we swan dive into the bacterialogical mire and frolick diregarding the need for any kind of synthetic protection.

Hard to differ with that given our sociologic and all together submisseve and awestruck position with giving flattering and inspired recognition inside a community based on a community touched by the pure genious of the so called evil and ejaculate riff... synthetic protection is outside of the scope of such purely produced rhetoric and encpasulated chaos due entirely to the purity within which it was created in its most naturalistic form.

Friends, I invite you to join me in worship and reverence for the umbilical thoughts of the intoxicated sailor: The sailor who sails the deep, deep storm laden oceans of wonder in which we plumb the beauty and transcendence that is the magic of the up-stroked sixteenth note as plucked by the hand of MR. EDWARD VAN HALEN!!!!

that inspirational translation is a purely personal transcription of that which is personally transcribed in a way, which is possibly a medium in which we can all relate at some remote transcription from within our own deep personal selves.

I dig yo.

[ May 25, 2002, 11:44 PM: Message edited by: seenbad ]

[BEZEK KNOWS BEST]

word... [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img]

[space4rent5150]

Originally posted by seenbad:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by theodore templeman:
Corrosively we conduct our speculative rambling much to the amusement and discontent of the throngs and masses.

I disagree. It is communitive and heartfelt drudgery bringing about spiritualism and oneness of true musical comingtogetherness between different parsecs of the musical cultural awareness of our consticting secular society.

But it is the lightning rod of the demonically evil power chord strangled out of the wrung neck of a whimpering Frankenhooker Stratbastard with humbucking pickups weeping a brown secretion known only as THE RIFF. It is at the feet of this Guitar God that we see liquid pools of rock n' roll ejaculate forming and gleefully we swan dive into the bacterialogical mire and frolick diregarding the need for any kind of synthetic protection.

Hard to differ with that given our sociologic and all together submisseve and awestruck position with giving flattering and inspired recognition inside a community based on a community touched by the pure genious of the so called evil and ejaculate riff... synthetic protection is outside of the scope of such purely produced rhetoric and encpasulated chaos due entirely to the purity within which it was created in its most naturalistic form.

Friends, I invite you to join me in worship and reverence for the umbilical thoughts of the intoxicated sailor: The sailor who sails the deep, deep storm laden oceans of wonder in which we plumb the beauty and transcendence that is the magic of the up-stroked sixteenth note as plucked by the hand of MR. EDWARD VAN HALEN!!!!

that inspirational translation is a purely personal transcription of that which is personally transcribed in a way, which is possibly a medium in which we can all relate at some remote transcription from within our own deep personal selves.

I dig yo. </font>[/QUOTE]whoa....That was fuckin awsome!

Now will someone please tell me what the fuck they just said! [img]graemlins/irked.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/wtf.gif[/img]

[FORD]

I thought Carl Sagan was dead

[dirtymovies]

Originally posted by Dirtymovie:
Crank the tunes and pass the bong, dude! [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img]

Like the name!

[Zahzoo]

Taken into consideration that the dimentional shift of conscienceness departed from the south end of a north bound bull... the simple conclusion is arrived at:

Bullshit = Bullshit

[ericgtr]

Originally posted by theodore templeman:
But it is the lightning rod of the demonically evil power chord strangled out of the wrung neck of a whimpering Frankenhooker Stratbastard with humbucking pickups weeping a brown secretion known only as THE RIFF.

This sounds to me like it could also be a dog stuck in a barb wire fence puking his guts out.

It is at the feet of this Guitar God that we see liquid pools of rock n' roll ejaculate forming and gleefully

Very descriptive yet messy here, either way pull out the mop.

we swan dive into the bacterialogical mire and frolick diregarding the need for any kind of synthetic protection.

Use a rubber and you won't get Herpes

Friends, I invite you to join me in worship and reverence for the umbilical thoughts of the intoxicated sailor: The sailor who sails the deep, deep storm laden oceans of wonder in which we plumb the beauty and transcendence that is the magic of the up-stroked sixteenth note as plucked by the hand of MR. EDWARD VAN HALEN!!!!

Notable Keywords:
Stratbastard
demonically
plucked
bacterialogical
ejaculate
umbilical
intoxicated sailor

Lovely speech man

[joedog]

Sounds like either Jim Morrison is alive and faked his death, or someone just bought a copy of "An American Prayer", and felt the need to spew forth the ejaculate from thyne lips (of fingers in this case). Either way,

SALUTE!

[Hecubus]

I'm thinking we're now seeing the reason that Eddie said "Sorry Ted, but we wanted to do this record ourselves," back in '86.....

BUT PASS SOME OF THAT SHIT OVER HERE, THEO!!!!!

You too, seen. Sounds like you have a better stash than Templeman.....

[Billy5150]

I began playing at age eight - Blues Only due to my Father's wishes. In 1983 I purchased my first VH album - Fair Warning. Since, I have studied the ways of The Master, always shunning the Dark Side(Vai, Yngwie). I am know 30. I play a Marshall 100 watt stack cranked to eleven through my saber and can play as well as anyone you might hear today. No effects, no nothing. Just a guitar and a cord. The Master has shown me on several occasions that's all you need.

I no longer play with a band - career and family won't allow it. But do still practice the ancient art of "Ball's to the wall - kick ass guitar playing" as The Master instructed me to do so.

Those of you who are promising - We need you. The Dark Side has stricken rock music in a way that none of us expected. "I can't do that", "That guy is too good, I might as well not try", "Nobody can play like him" - has led to Creed, Limp Bisdick, The WHOLE Seattle Movement, etc....

Purchase "VH1", "The Jimi Hendrix Experience", "Walls of Fire", "One More For/From the Road." Play as The Master's do and don't be coerced by the Dark Side's rumblings that you will never be as good.

It is up to you, my young Jedi's, to place guitar playing back on the map of popular music and to put these bunch of no talent, no dues payed, no- songwriting bunch of yahoo's back on the street where they belong.

May The Force Be With You

[seenbad]

Yeeeeehaw!! Looks like another enthusiastic addition to the guitar forum. [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

Good to have ya here billy!

Hecubus- I had a lil' drink on that night.