Top 10 future "News Headlines" at van-halen.com
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  1. #1
    Eruption

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    10) Alex has emergency surgery to correct an ingrown toenail.

    09) Pleasure Dome re-opens “Bigger and Better” than ever – with three new smiley face icons.

    08) DLR denounces rumors that he’s losing his hair.

    07) Mike to launch new line of chili pepper based skin products at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

    06) International Confectioners activist group starts global crusade to recover “all of those lost brown M&M’s.”

    05) Peavey inks endorsement deal with the Partridge Family bass player.

    04) Eddie receives shocking news from Publisher’s Clearinghouse in the mail - “You’re already a Winner!”

    03) David Lee Roth to replace Dennis Miller on ABC’s Monday Night Football.

    02) Gary confirms years of rampant rumors, “Yes. I am really gray.”

    01) Due to budget cuts, 5150 Studio renamed 5149.
    LightBulb5150<br />I bring things to light.

  2. #2
    Runnin' With The Devil
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    Originally posted by LightBulb5150:

    03) David Lee Roth to replace Dennis Miller on ABC’s Monday Night Football.

    Ya know...That would be aahhaaawwesome!!!

    02) Gary confirms years of rampant rumors, “Yes. I am really gray.”

    Oh, shit, rofl

    01) Due to budget cuts, 5150 Studio renamed br549...oh wait, that doesn't make sense...but what does around there?...
    "Knowing is not enough, we must apply,willing is not enough, we must do" -Goethe

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    --Somewhat me, mostly someone else, not sure who

  3. #3
    Eruption

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    Originally posted by Executionor:

    03) David Lee Roth to replace Dennis Miller on ABC’s Monday Night Football.

    Ya know...That would be aahhaaawwesome!!!

    I agree! Dave would be a riot on MNF!
    LightBulb5150<br />I bring things to light.

  4. #4
    Hang 'Em High
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    And don't forget this one.

    " The original 4 undergo an experimental procedure to removed their respected heads from their respected asses. An indecisive recovery looms."
    'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

  5. #5
    Imperial Fascist Overlord
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    Premium Member
    Funny stuff, LightBulb5150.

    The headline that should really be at VH.com, though, is...

    1) Brad Starks - FIRED.
    http://www.vhlinks.com/vbforums/images/avatars/michael3.jpg

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  6. #6
    Hang 'Em High
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    Originally posted by LightBulb5150:
    10) Alex has emergency surgery to correct an ingrown toenail.
    Or----

    Alex has emergency surgery to cure his invisibility!!

    Funny stuff LightBulb5150! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

  7. #7
    Romeo Delight
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    10) Eddie endorses a new "frankenstien" paint scheme cup and jock strap..."I've kicked it a million times and it always asks for more...that thing is tough"

    9) Alex is opening a law firm that specializes in divorce and how to hide your money from your ex-wife or wives

    8) The Wolfgang report: now you can get your Wolfy special in Almond!

    7) No News is Good News

    6) No News is Good News

    5) Ditto

    4) Sorry, we did not think that Mike leaving the band to work with Sammy again was newsworthy

    3) Wolfy update: Now you can get ANY color of volume knobs you like on your Wolfgang special...yep, we have Almond!

    2) New Lead singer annoucement..."I feel like he is my musical soul mate"..."If this doesn't work, I'm gonna play tuba"...On the new album's producer..."he's the best, I want to work with him on the rest of our albums"

    1) No news is good news....

  8. #8
    Big Bad Bill

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    Originally posted by handyman:
    3) Wolfy update: Now you can get ANY color of volume knobs you like on your Wolfgang special...yep, we have Almond!
    That one got me!!! LMAO!!!!
    Staying Frosty

  9. #9
    Bullethead
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    I would like to offer a few of my own, if no one minds:

    1) Eddie's Foot Surgically Removed From David Lee Roth's Balls

    2) EVH Appears on NBC's "Fear Factor", Must Make Singer Committment or Be Tossed From Show

    3) AVH, Mistaken For Dead, Is Cremated...DLR Smokes His Ashes For a Buzz

    4) EVH Scores "Star Wars: Episode II" Movie, Music Sounds Suspiciously Like "III"

    5) Wolfie Tells Daddy VH: "I'm Outta Here...DLR Needs A Guitarist...And I'm Playin'"
    She's as strong as the mountains, walks tall as a tree.

 

 

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