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  1. #1
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Donor

    I'm bored and another thread gave me an idea. How realistic can you make a rumor sound? Make one up and try to make it sound realistic. Not ala Lance Watts per say, but really try to make one sound legit.

    This was mine. Kind of tounge in cheek, but with a couple possible angles.


    1. The new single will be out before Christmas.
    2. Album will be out on January first...this is a Tuesday.
    3.The only thing holding things up is Mike is demanding 10 percent. The lawyers are involved now and its cutting heads time.
    4. I can assure you I am in contact with Warner Brothers about this. My cousin is WB's IT guy and sets up all the email accounts and has access to everyones passwords. He has seen PLENTY of proof, but I cant say more because I dont want to give him away.Also, My Sisters House cleaner down in Encino also does the Van Halens house. She said that she said she saw a prototype of the new album cover but it was half way covered up. Said it had the same color scheme as G&R's appetite for destruction with red black and yellow thing going on and what looked like "Rassa" as the second word.
    5. As for the singer....well, this is wierd, but its actually DLR and Brett Micheals trying a new style of rock out with a kind of rap/back and forth/cutting heads kind of style. Kid Rock makes an appearance as well. As does the group ENYA on a song that Edward claims to be a follow up to the song ONCE.

    Thats all for now. Stay tuned. I'll have more VERY soon......
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk Wolfman's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 03:43 PM
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    1. The album is already out - but nobody knows about yet, because the band changed their name, and the first person to realize it and buy it wins a private, personal post from the band members at the Dome.

    2.My source is an employee of Best Buy, who has sworn me to secrecy regarding their identity, as they are no. 542 on the "hush list" within the VH "ring of knowledge", as the courts are now referring to it.

    3.The singer is indeed David Lee Roth, although few will recognize him, as Ed had him change his name to Sparky Johnson and get a complete makeover, including a red dye job. This was part of a detailed agreement that the band wrote up to allow Dave back in the band. Rumor is that they are all having quite a bit of fun teasing Dave with the new name and look.

    4.A massive tour will include a huge Ray Danniels pinata hanging above the stage each night that will be struck open each night by an even larger hammer guy ( ala 1984 tour). The pinata will shower lucky fans in the first few rows with assorted VH paraphenilia.

    5.All tracks on the new album have lyrics taken entirely from posts at the various VH-related websites over the last 3 years.

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium JWS_5150's Avatar
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    05.18.09 @ 11:19 PM
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    Donor

    1) The new record is currently being mastered. Its title is "Absolute Silence."

    2) According to my source, a WB rep who is my cousin's brother's sister's husband's secretary's best man's college roommate, the album is 74 minutes of quiet.

    3) Rumor has it Brad Starks is actually ON THE ALBUM - whispering "no news is good news" somewhere along the 36 minute mark.

    4) With the release of "Absolute Silence," Van Halen will also be introducing a new line of vehicles with Chrysler, called the Minivans Halen. This is to make sure they turn a profit in case "Absolute Silence" - in which Ed says he's finally found his musical soulmate (a couple crickets chirping) - happens to fail miserably.

    5) Early complaints are coming out saying they turned Mikey's vocals and bass all the way down. Similar complaints are arising that Alex's drums are hardly audible, and that even Ed's guitar is quite muted.

    6) Ed claimed they didn't need a singer for this one.

    More developments as I learn from my trusty sources. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
    I'm one of those crazies on your block.

    writing

  4. #4
    Eye suffacozza YEWW! Goo's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 05:34 PM
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    Premium Member
    Eddymons source is actually the smoking dude off the X-files.

    And Eddymons his fishmonger.
    A little zen....... Headed your way.......

  5. #5
    The Dude Dan Halen's Avatar
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    09.26.07 @ 02:38 PM
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    Donor

    OK guys, I just got my hands on a Van Halen press release that the public is going to see on Thanksgiving Day. My dad's friend's cousin's barber's wife's friend's nephew works for WB and was able to get this inside info.

    Van Halen Set to Release New Studio Album "LSD" On January 15

    "LSD" First Van Halen Release in four years

    LOS ANGELES, California--The legendary rock band Van Halen is set to release their new studio album "LSD" on Warner Bros. Records next January.

    The album will be available in stores on January 15 and will be the band's first album since "Van Halen III" (1998). The album was produced by Beau Hill, who has worked with such acts as Warrant, Europe, Kix, and Twisted Sister. There is no lead singer on the album--all the vocals are done by guitarist Edward Van Halen. Van Halen said, "We tried to get back together with David Lee Roth a few times but it just didn't work out. We even contacted Steve Perry but he declined. So I just said 'f--- it, I'm going to sing'."

    The album will feature 13 songs that Van Halen wrote himself. "Lyrically, I came up with ideas when I was sitting on the pot, which I've done a lot the past few years. 'LSD' has got to be the best record we've made since Balance (1995)."

    When asked if the title of the album is about the drug, Van Halen responded, "No, it stands for Lead Singer Disease. Our first two singers--David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar had it. But with this record there is no LSD. It's just my brother Alex (drums), Michael Anthony (bass), and I recording new music without having to deal with a lead singer. The process was so much quicker and easier."

    "We're excited that Van Halen is coming back with another album," stated Mike Wilson, a Warner Bros. representative. "After hearing 'LSD,' we immediately knew it represented what Van Halen is all about."

    The first single from "LSD", "The Funk," is expected to reach radio waves by Christmas. Other stand-out tracks on the album are "Baby Steps," "You Better Be Wearing A Cup," and "F.O.R.D. (F--- Off Ray Danniels)." Edward Van Halen's son Wolfgang even sings on one song, "Why? Because Why." A few songs have about 30 seconds of music and then three-to-four minutes of silence.

    Look for a Van Halen spring/summer tour announcement soon.



    [ November 07, 2001 at 11:58 PM: Message edited by: Dan Halen ]</p>
    "It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice." --Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

  6. #6
    On Fire
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    And the Singer is......Sammy Hagar AND David Lee Roth???? Digital technology resumes former singers on new album.

    I have a friend whom I went to school with, brillant guy. He is an animator at ILM (Industrial Light and Magic).

    I was talking to him over the weekend hoping he would let some tidbits about Star Wars Episode II slip out. (He supervised all animation on the Pod Race in Episode I). But he just floored me with this one. Apparently the sound department is just swamped working on not only the sound for Episode II but also the upcoming Van Halen Albums scheduled for release May 2002. ILM is taking sampled voice recordings of both singers from the 5150 vaults and creating new Roth and Hagar songs by meticulously piecing together every word in each lyric. It is a double CD, apparently George Lucas wants the Roth?Hagar debate settled once and for all my friend told me. Eddie will also be contributing 'guitar sounds' to be used during the jedi light saber battles. My friend thinks Eddie will create some weird light saber sound used for the evil jedi.

    'The technology is new' my friend said 'They (Van Halen) have had the music recorded for about 2 1/2 years, but it has taken us that long just to get to the point were at now. The Dave CD is done, and it is the best he has ever sounded which is odd since he really didn't sing on the CD at all. The Sammy CD is trickey because our software is having a hard time replicating the word 'love' so many times throughout the CD. We have to make each one sound different from the other.' I asked him if the voices sound like a phone recording and he said 'no, you cannot tell the difference, we could put out a new Elvis CD without anyone catching on' he chuckeled.

    Well, seems George Lucas has solved the Van Halen Lead singer problem with his space aged technology.
    Life is something that happens when your planning something else.

  7. #7
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Donor

    Ok, I told you I would come back with more news, and here I am. This is NO bullshit. You WILL see. I get it from my source that JUST YESTERDAY, Gwen Stephani (from No Doubt) finished singing back up on a track with Dave that will be the before mentioned single to be released before Christmas!! WOW! What a great idea!! This is really going to help bring VH back. Everything this gal touches is GOLD. She also did a vocal duet with EDDIE!! The title is a follow up to how many say I....its called, "How many say you" eep: You guys are going to love this album.
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk Wolfman's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 03:43 PM
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    Hey - Great news!!!

    My source at Best Buy has come up big this time.

    Here's a partial track listing of the album (lyrics based on the VH message boards, remember? ) -

    1. Pimproll *instrumental
    2. Peace Out, Baby
    3. Moonshine and Twinkies
    4. Mushrooms in the Dark
    5. Rumor Mill
    6. No News is No News is No News
    7. Horkin' Around *instrumental, including Dave on harmonica
    8. The Atomic Drunks *new track - totally unrelated to "Atomic Punk"
    9. Word Association

  9. #9
    Good Enough hellohawk's Avatar
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    08.10.15 @ 07:37 AM
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    Premium Member
    The new VH will premiere along side U2 on their VH1 Thanksgiving concert special. No foolin'

  10. #10
    Eruption Bigdaddy_14's Avatar
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    10.04.17 @ 06:34 AM
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    Check out my rumor in the rumor section

 

 

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