Nineteen years of hero-worship and now I gotta go sign up for a fucking license to appreciate Van Halen? Fuck that! I suppose I should cut off my fucking arm and get it registered, too, before Ed and his Gestapo-like band of legal cronies sues me for illegal use of the VH logo on my own person! This is so ridiculous that it's almost funny. How many more ways can Edward alienate himself from the fans? I doubt he's done yet!

Thanks, but no thanks. I ainít registering shit, LARS Van Halen. Maybe I'll see ya around when you're all done jerking off the fans.