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  1. #1
    On Fire Ineedalogin's Avatar
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    04.09.18 @ 06:54 PM
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    I see you're from Michigan too. Well, this story takes place at Central Michigan University...that's where I attended college. At any rate, here's the rest of the story:

    So, the guy repairs his little CVS special radio & the middle of the night jams sessions start up again. Well, since we can't kick the guy's ass (because of his sexual orientation) we decide to "motivate" him to leave.

    Oh, and before I go into our "motivating" skills, let me explain a few other things. Ya see, we didn't hate the guy JUST because of this tendency to jam "No More Tears" 24 hours a day. There were other factors too.

    First off, the dude would eat all our food when we weren't around and then never pay us back. This one time, my buddies & I went home for the weekend and when we got back, ALL OF OUR FOOD WAS GONE. And I mean ALL. The 1 guy ate all the food of his 3 roommates. We fond out from the girls next door that the guy had a party while we were gone and he & his gay friends were sitting in the hallway eating all our food. When we got back we almost ripped the guy's head off. We immediately drove him to the ATM and made him withdrawl $300 to reimburse us for the food. Furthermore, we made sure that he knew that he was NEVER allowed to bring his buddies to our apartment again. If they ever showed up, they had to knock on his bedroom window from outside & he would have to go out there to talk to them. They weren't allowed in.

    Secondly, the guy NEVER paid his bills. He would run up $300 a month phone bills & never pay for them. He rarely contributed for any of the utility bills, and he never paid his rent either.

    Thirdly, he was a lying sack of sh*t. He would make the largest, most outlandish bull sh*t statements I've ever heard. My buddy would talk about his Mustang 5.0L car, and this guy would reply by saying, "I have the 2nd fastest car in Wisconsin. It goes from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds. But it's back home in Wisconsin with my family." He had the best EVERYTHING...but it was all back in Wisconsin. My one roommate likes to hunt, and when this gay guy saw my buddy's gun he claimed to have a $200,000 gun collection. But of course it was back in Wisconsin. The guy can't pay his bills, but he has a $200,000 gun collection back in Wisconsin. Freakin' idiot!

    Ok, on with the story. So, when the guy takes off for work (he dropped out of school & went to work instead) we'd go into his room & rewire the phone lines so that his phone jack was inactive. We'd put itching powder in his bed and we'd spit loogies in all his books.

    Also, we'd torment the guy whenever he was home. If he went to the bathroom, one of us would grab a rubber glove from under the sink, stick peanut butter on the fingers & then lay it on his pillow. We'd have what we called "Air Raids" in the middle of the night. You see, the walls of our apartment were solid wood. It's hard to describe the walls, but trust me, they were solid wood walls. And the guy's had the middle bedroom between myself & one of my buddies. His bed happened to be in the corner of his room with one side of the bed facing my bedroom wall and the head of the bed touching the outside wall. Well, on those nights of our "Air Raids," we'd set our alarm clocks for like 4:00am. Then one of my buddies would go outside his bedroom window while me and my other buddie would grab sauce pans from the kitchen. And at a syncronized time, we'd start slamming the pans against the walls while the guy outside started beating on the window. Scared the livin' crap out of the guy. This was kind of like our revenge for his midnight radio jam sessions.

    We finally got the guy to move out just before the start of the 2nd semester. By this time, the guy was over $500 in debt for the phone bill, and probably another $300 behind on the utility bills. We told him he was no longer allowed to use the phone or anything else until he forked over the cash that he owed us. We told him if we caught him, he would get his arse beat. Well, one day my roommates & I decided to skip class & play Madden on Sega. The loser didn't realize that we skipped class. So the phone rings and before we got a chance to answer it, we hear him talking to his buddy on the phone in his room. Well, my buddy just EXPLODES and storms into the guys bedroom. In an out-and-out fit of rage, my roommate says to the guy: "I told you NOT to use the phone until you pay us for the phone bill! That doesn't mean use it when you think we're all at class. If I hear you use the phone one more time, I'm gonna wrap that phone cord around your wormy little neck & pop your head off!!!!"

    Well my buddy & I are just rolling on the floor laughing our arses off. About 10 minutes later the guy comes out of his bedroom with a big army bag full of clothes. We think the guy is headed to the laundromat, but he never comes back. He leaves all his stuff and never comes back!

    Sure he stuck us with roughly $800 in bills. But my friends & I still laugh at all the stuff we did to him to drive him out of the apartment. I guess it was a fair trade-off.

  2. #2
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
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    02.13.15 @ 07:56 AM
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    Seems like an obvious candidate for the Non-Music forum to me. [img]smile.gif[/img]



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