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  1. #1
    Eruption ETRIGAN's Avatar
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    11.12.99
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    O.C. Calif
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    1,054
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen/Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Romeo Delight
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    01.07.15 @ 01:55 PM
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    Donor

    Here are my eight point suggestions for Dave to get success. (Or at least not make his fans cringe in embarrassment.)

    1.Shut your fuckin mouth. Talking shit about anyoneís music should be the last of his worries. When he puts out some decent music on his own then we will see. If he really wants a reunion he should shut his fuckin pie hole!

    2.Do something with the hair. Comb overs should be illegal. You arenít fooling anyone. Pull it back in a pony tail, buzz it short or take Ted Nugentís suggestion and shave it bald and shine it up till the glare burns the eyes out of their socketís. No hats!!

    3.Burn anything you own that is spandex! It may have been a bold fashion statement in the 80ís but now (and especially on a man that is pushing 50) itís just embarrassing! Get some leather pants and a t-shirt or go the Robert Palmer route and get a suit! Get a shirt that covers that Stanley Steamer chest. A man of Daveís age looks ludicrous with a shirt that is split to the navel. You donít like seeing chicks with hip huggers and crop tops when they have done lop syndrome. (Like you see every time youíre in a Wal-Mart!)

    4.Listen to the Dave years catalog till the timing and melodies are burned in to your mind! I am sick of hearing Dave ďrapĒ on these songs. They have a melody and timing! If you get too winded from doing the splits and dancing around to sing, quit moving around so much!

    5.Give up on the old lines. Everyone has heard the ďIíll fuck your girlfriendĒ rap. It got old back then and it was funnier when that hot 25 year old with the nice rack and the short skirt and thong, wasnít possibly your daughter. Quit using a formula. Improvise or shut up and sing!

    6.If your not getting back in Van Halen, join or start a super group. Get someone that can write a good song. Get Schenker. Just write the vocal melody and the lyrics. Donít tell the guy that knows what a good song sounds like what he is doing wrong. NO COVER TUNES!!!!!

    7.Daveís range is not what it used to be. I suggest whether it is with Van Halen or someone else they consider tuning down a whole step instead of just a half.

    8.Lose the shtick. The midgets are old news and the hired hot chicks just look like beards. (Thatís all Iím going to say about that.)

    Iím sure you can add more to this (please do.) I just want to see Dave get some credibility so if there is a reunion it wonít be embarrassing. I hate to say it but at the Sammy/Dave press conference, he looked like a past their prime prostitute, that just canít admit their age.
    "Why behave in public if you're living on a playground?"

  2. #2
    Eruption
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    07.31.00
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    Baltimore Maryland
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    08.02.17 @ 01:39 PM
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    E FLAT BLUES...
    ..In 1984 Van Halen Jumped Panama
    Topped Jimmy & Dropped Dead Legs
    ..Ill Wait in this House of Pain with the
    Girl Gone Bad while I am really Hot for Teacher..


    ..Think it was easy ?..you stare at an album
    Cover that long..

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
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    03.03.15 @ 08:31 PM
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    Donor

    Dave just needs to start listening to Glenn and me.

  4. #4
    Romeo Delight
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    01.17.02
    Location
    new jersey
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    55
    Favorite VH Album

    fair warning
    Favorite VH Song

    unchained
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    In the immortal words of one Ted "Theodore" Logan, he "needs to get Eddie Van Halen on guitar".
    "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the KING of ten fingers and six strings, Mr. Edward Van Halen!!!"- DLR @the '83 US Festival<br /><br />"MY NAME IS FRANKENSTRAT!!"-Gene Wilder,1974-Young Frankenstrat

  5. #5
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
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    02.13.15 @ 08:56 AM
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    Donor

    Originally posted by MikeL:
    Dave just needs to start listening to Glenn and me.
    I think I'd have to start every sentence with, "now Dave, don't take this the wrong way, but..."

    Providing it remains friendly [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] I think this is a good topic for the Opinions forum, so I'm going to move it there now. [img]smile.gif[/img]

 

 

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