Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 35
  1. #1
    Atomic Punk Eddymon's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.20.99
    Age
    48
    Location
    3800 foot level in the Sierra
    Posts
    15,108
    Favorite VH Album

    all of them
    Favorite VH Song

    If its Eddie, its Van Halen
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 02:30 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 527 Times in 242 Posts

    **when we last left the band, Ed went to pick up Wolfie at school**

    EVH: "Well son, how as school today?"
    WVH: "Well dad, I found out that a girl likes me."
    EVH: "Really? Who?"
    WVH: "Samantha Roth."
    EVH: "I'm sorry, did you say Samantha Roth?"
    WVH: "Yes, but most people call her Sam."
    EVH: "Now let me get this straight. A girl named Sam Roth likes you?"
    WVH: "Gee dad your so smart."
    EVH: "Thanks, I hope you have my brains."
    WVH: "Do I HAVE to go to ballet today?"
    EVH: "I thought you liked it?"
    WVH: "I just do it because mom likes me to and she is back in Utah filming her show. Can I skip it please? I want to hang out with you guys."
    EVH: "I guess it wouldn't hurt to skip one day."
    WVH: "COOL! Your the best dad."
    EVH: "Thats what people always tell me."

    **Now an hour later at 5150**

    DLR: "hey Eddie, I invited a few chicks up here later on, is Wolfie going to rat you out?"
    EVH: "I'll have Starks take him to see LORD OF THE RINGS, that will give us a few hours."
    DLR: "ALLRIGHT!"
    AVH: "Um Edward, do you think its a good idea to bring girls to the studio?"
    EVH: "What do you mean? Val is in Utah, its not like I'm going to screw one of them."
    AVH: "No its not that. They might talk to someone and say that we are working with Dave. I thought that we were going to surprise everyone and come out smelling like roses."
    EVH: "Gee your right."
    DLR: "Its cool Eddie, they won't tell anyone. And they give great BJ's."
    EVH: "Cool, I liked Bill Clinton."
    MA: "My wife wants me home for supper tonight."
    EVH "Does your wife sign your pay check Mike?"
    MA: "uh no."
    EVH" "Exactly, so you will stay here and put the finishing touched on the harmonies, Ballard is on his way up here right now and you two will get it completed tonight."
    MA: "O.K. Ed."
    AVH: "Anyone see my muscle relaxers?"
    DLR: "Yeah I took one earlier, my back was killing me."
    EVH: "And I took one too, my hip was killing me."
    AVH: "That leaves me with only one left, I have to leave for a bit and go to the pharmacy for a refill. I hope i don't see that guy I saw last time I went to the store who asked me if Dave was back. Thats why I don't go anywhere."
    EVH: "See you in a while Al."
    AVH: "And save a chick for me."
    DLR: "Done deal man."


    Tune in later for the next episode.............
    'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk Eddymon's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.20.99
    Age
    48
    Location
    3800 foot level in the Sierra
    Posts
    15,108
    Favorite VH Album

    all of them
    Favorite VH Song

    If its Eddie, its Van Halen
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 02:30 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 527 Times in 242 Posts

    **around midnight at 5150**

    DLR: "Man I feel like doing something tonight. Lets all go to the Whiskey and jump up on stage with whoever is playing tonight."
    EVH: "We can't Dave, this reunion is supposed to be a secret. If we go there together it will ruin it."
    DLR: "Damn man you are right. How much longer are we going to be sequestered here?"
    EVH: "Not much longer, but Mikey is just about done with the harmonies so I'll send him to the Whiskey and spread some VH cheer."
    DLR: "Boy will he love that. "

    **Mike walks into the room**

    EVH: "All done Mike?"
    MA: "Sure am, and its gonna sound great. Tomorrow we are going to add some bass fillers to a couple of songs and then we will be done."
    EVH: "Actually Mike I have something for you to do for us tonight. I want you to go to The Whiskey and hang out and join the band on stage. Just don't say too much this time. Give them the old, 'we are currently in the studio working on new material'. Don't say whether or not if we have a singer."
    MA: "I was hoping to go home and get a good night's sleep before coming back here tomorrow to do the bass fill ins."
    EVH: "I'll play the fillers tonight and Alex will do the recording. Then when you, Dave and Ballard get here tomorrow at 10 a.m. we will mix them into the songs.
    MA: "If thats what you really want Ed, sure I'll go into town."
    EVH: "thats a good boy. See you in the morning."

    **An hour later at the Whiskey**
    Bartender: "What can I get for you Mike?"
    MA: "Jack Daniels straight up."

    **a voice comes behind Mikey**
    SAMMY: "Hey hey Mikey wazzup?"
    MA: "Hi Sam, how are you doing old friend?"
    Sammy: "Just here with my drummer and guitarist having a few beers and tequila shots."
    MA: "Ed sent me here to do a little pr for the band without telling anyone that we are working with Dave again. OOps!"
    Sammy: "Come on man. Thats the worst kept secrect in music lately. Everyone knows that Dave is back in the group. Hey me and the guys were gonna jam a few songs while Warrant takes a break. Want to join us on the bass?"
    MA: "Well I guess that would be cool. Sure."
    Sammy: "Any suggestions for songs?"
    MA: "How about Eagles Fly, and Heavy Metal?"
    Sammy: "Man I haven't played Heavy Metal in years. How about a cheese I mean ballad like Can't Stop Loving You?"
    MA: "Did you just say cheese?"
    Sammy: "Yeah it slipped, I have been visiting some of the fan sites and have read what some shithead named FORD calls some of the songs I did when I was in the band."
    MA: "Never mind him, he is just jealous that he is stuck sweeping floors and you are a famous rock star."
    Sammy: (laughing)"You're probably right Mike. Now come on the stage awaits."
    MA: "Let me get another JD to take up there with me first."


    What will Eddie say when he learns that Mike jammed with Sammy?
    Will Dave eat burritos again?
    Will Alex knock up Liz Taylor?
    Will Wolfie quit ballet?
    Will Brad ever get a clue?

    Stay tuned,,,
    Same dysfunctional band,
    Same dysfunctional fan site............
    'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

  3. #3
    Eruption
    Join Date
    03.01.00
    Location
    Burlington, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,166
    Favorite VH Album

    1984
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    02.20.07 @ 03:36 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    LOL!

    The only thing missing is another great fight with Eddie and Dave!
    "I had a girl beating on my hotel door all night...She was screaming, crying. Finally, I said, 'What the hell'...and I let her out!"- DLR

  4. #4
    Banned!
    Join Date
    10.02.01
    Location
    Just North of Paradise
    Posts
    25
    Favorite VH Album

    1978-2002
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    LOL [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

    [ January 03, 2002 at 01:07 PM: Message edited by: Little Mikey ]</p>

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk Eddymon's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.20.99
    Age
    48
    Location
    3800 foot level in the Sierra
    Posts
    15,108
    Favorite VH Album

    all of them
    Favorite VH Song

    If its Eddie, its Van Halen
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 02:30 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 527 Times in 242 Posts

    If I'm Not too drunk or we get an announcement tomorrow, the next episode will be a "classic".

    stay tuned.....
    'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk Eddymon's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.20.99
    Age
    48
    Location
    3800 foot level in the Sierra
    Posts
    15,108
    Favorite VH Album

    all of them
    Favorite VH Song

    If its Eddie, its Van Halen
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 02:30 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 527 Times in 242 Posts

    If I'm Not too drunk or we get an announcement tomorrow, the next episode will be a "classic".
    in honor of my birthday.

    Stay tuned........
    'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing!
    Join Date
    06.04.01
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    3,193
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning, and the rest of the first 6 albums!
    Favorite VH Song

    Everthing off of the first 6 albums!
    Last Online

    01.10.09 @ 01:07 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    OMG!!! It's hilarious the way Eddie belittles Mike!!!!

  8. #8
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    02.18.00
    Location
    Cowtown
    Posts
    5,196
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Me Wise Magic
    Last Online

    09.15.15 @ 08:40 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    pretty good man, although i'd probably woulda left the part about FORD out.

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk Eddymon's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.20.99
    Age
    48
    Location
    3800 foot level in the Sierra
    Posts
    15,108
    Favorite VH Album

    all of them
    Favorite VH Song

    If its Eddie, its Van Halen
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 02:30 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 527 Times in 242 Posts

    <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by laner:
    pretty good man, although i'd probably woulda left the part about FORD out.<hr></blockquote>

    It was only a joke.
    I like Ford.
    'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

  10. #10
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    02.18.00
    Location
    Cowtown
    Posts
    5,196
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Me Wise Magic
    Last Online

    09.15.15 @ 08:40 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    cool, i figured. [img]smile.gif[/img]
    and the cheese part was pretty funny. [img]smile.gif[/img] sam would never admit to something like that though.

  11. #11
    Unchained
    Join Date
    02.20.00
    Location
    Logan, Utah, USA
    Posts
    490
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    These are entertaining! But, I have to wonder: Eddymon, dude, what is it that you do all day?
    "What is understood don't need to be discussed. 'Aint that right Edward?'" Sammy Hagar, Right Here Right Now

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk Eddymon's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.20.99
    Age
    48
    Location
    3800 foot level in the Sierra
    Posts
    15,108
    Favorite VH Album

    all of them
    Favorite VH Song

    If its Eddie, its Van Halen
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 02:30 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 527 Times in 242 Posts

    **Friday 1-4-02**

    EVH: "Allright boys todays the day."
    AVH: "Yes, All things are ago. Radio will be recieving the first single around 10 am eastern time."
    MA: "I am so glad this day has finally come, now I can go to car shows without being mobbed."
    DLR: "Lets play a show somewhere tonight guys!"
    EVH: "Come on Dave, remember 'baby steps'?"
    DLR: "Fuck baby steps Ed! I want to rock! We have been fucking coped up here so long that I think I am turning into a homo."
    EVH: "Well Dave remember that time back the Diver Down tour?"
    DLR: "I told you, I WAS DRUNK."
    AVH: "I have been drunk before Dave, but....."
    DLR: "Fuck you guys, you are both assholes."
    EVH: "Dave, next time you talk like that to me in my house. You better be wearing a fucking cup."
    DLR: "Cup my ass, I would kick your scrawny ass up and down Hollywood Blvd."
    AVH: "Yeah, but I would kick your ass Dave."
    DLR: "Your kidding me right? You can't take a shit without getting injured and having to go to the hopspital."
    EVH: "Mike do you want to chime in here?"
    MA: "Oh so NOW you want me to say something Eddie?"
    EVH: "That would be nice."
    MA: "O.K. I am so fucking sick of how you and Al treat me. You send me to all these appearances make me say stupid shit and then have Brad say that I didn't say it. I was once a very credible member of this band and now I part of the laughing stock like you & Alex. You don't listen to any of my ideas."
    EVH: "Now hold on there Mike, I got a call late last night that you were jamming with Sammy at the Whiskey and the crowd loved it. In fact they wouldn't even let Warrant back on stage. Why did you do this to me?"
    MA: "Do it to you? You told me to go and mingle with the fans, Sammy happened to be there and he & I are still friends. the problem lies betweeen you and him."
    EVH: "Sam's work ethic sucked. Thats why he's not in the band anymore."
    MA: "SAM'S work ethic sucked? How long has it been since he left the group almost 6 years. He has done 2 albums and tours. What have we done? 1 shitty album with some guy that should be in CATS rather than Van Halen."
    EVH: "he was my soul mate."
    MA: "You say that about every Tom, Dick & Harry that comes through those doors. Last week I overheard you telling that golf magazine reporter that Dave is youir true musical soulmate&gt;"
    DLR: "Really! Is that true Eddie?"
    EVH: "Not now Dave."
    MA: "If you cannot treat me and the bands fans with respect from this day forward, I am leaving the group."
    EVH: "You can't leave Mike, I am so sorry."
    DLR: "Do you really think that about me Ed?"
    EVH: "Sure Dave, whatever."
    AVH: "Mike, how is Sam doing these days?"
    MA: "Great, he is very happy spending time with Kari and baby. I haven't seen him this happy since OU812."
    EVH: "Did he ask about me?"
    MA: "He wished you good health."
    EVH: "You know what? I am going to call him later today and see if he want to chat."
    DLR: "What the fuck Eddie?! Sammy is Mr. Cheese."
    EVH: "And you are a novelty act Dave. So What?"
    DLR: "I want you to know that I filled a 5,000 seat club last year."
    EVH: "Tell you what Dave, why don't you go home and relax for a few days. I will call you then."
    DLR: "Fine then. Bye."

    **Dave leaves**

    **Ed picks up the phone**

    EVH: "Hi Sam, its Ed......."

    **stay tuned for the conversation**
    'Old Van Halen, when I was in it-classic Van Halen-makes you wanna drink, dance and screw, right? And the new Van Halen encourages you to drink milk, drive a Nissan and have a relationship.' - David Lee Roth.

  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing!
    Join Date
    06.04.01
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    3,193
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning, and the rest of the first 6 albums!
    Favorite VH Song

    Everthing off of the first 6 albums!
    Last Online

    01.10.09 @ 01:07 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    hilarious!!!!


    and this line killed me...

    DLR: "Fuck baby steps Ed! I want to rock! We have been fucking coped up here so long that I think I am turning into a homo."
    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]

  14. #14
    The Dude Dan Halen's Avatar
    Join Date
    07.16.00
    Age
    32
    Location
    Corvallis, OR, USA
    Posts
    9,345
    Last Online

    09.26.07 @ 02:38 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Hilarious as usual Eddymon. Keep up the good work. [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    "It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice." --Ron Burgundy, Anchorman

  15. #15
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    02.18.00
    Location
    Cowtown
    Posts
    5,196
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Me Wise Magic
    Last Online

    09.15.15 @ 08:40 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    nice! good stuff man, that's funny shit. [img]smile.gif[/img]

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Guess what..........the silence continues
    By Wolfman in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01.01.03, 12:53 PM
  2. Tonya Harding Saga continues
    By UnleashVH in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 04.24.02, 09:13 AM
  3. Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02.18.02, 04:04 PM
  4. Speaker search continues!
    By stratogibson in forum Guitar Room
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01.08.01, 12:07 PM
  5. The roller coaster continues....
    By AJW in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 07.28.00, 07:48 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •