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  1. #1
    Banned! Motherload's Avatar
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    05.12.16 @ 05:06 AM
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    Default Texas Man Is Trying To Marry His Laptop In Order To End Gay Marriage

    Of course it's someone from Texas - keeping the stereotypes about people from the south alive and well.

    Chris Sevier is suing the Harris County, Texas district clerk, Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton for not allowing him the right to marry his Mac laptop. He’s going to have to get in line for Mr. Paxton, who is busy trying to dodge fraud charges. Why would you want to marry your laptop?

    He is trying to prove that, essentially, marriage between a same-sex couple can be equated to marriage between a man and a machine. He is trying to prove that, under Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriage, people are now allowed to do morally disgusting things like marry whomever they are attracted to, whether that be inanimate objects or the same gender.

    Essentially, he is trying to give courts an ultimatum: Agree that this is what they have done and allow him to make vows to a piece of expensive chrome, or, realize that this is morally wrong and undo Obergefell.

    It’s interesting that the only people every trying to marry things that are not human—the slippery slope so often referred to by conservatives everywhere—are conservatives themselves.

    Texas is one of three states in which Sevier, a lawyer and an EDM producer who is "hardcore involved in the music industry," has filed this lawsuit. He plans to hit up 12 more states soon.

    "[This lawsuit] is not a matter of who's on the right side of history,” Sevier said. “This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we just delusional?”

    ‘The question is, should we have policies that encourage that kind of lifestyle?’ he told the Houson Press. ‘The state is not doing anyone any favours by encouraging people to live that lifestyle. We have to define marriage.’

    He added that the lawsuit ‘is not a matter of who’s on the right side of history. This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we delusional?’

    Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, who actually opposed same-sex marriage as well, has filed a motion to dismiss the case.

    ‘The right to marry one’s computer is not an interest, objectively, deeply rooted in the nation’s history and tradition such that it qualifies as a protected interest,’ Paxton wrote.

    But this isn’t the first time Sevier has tried to get married to his computer.

    In 2014, he filed a similar suit in Utah claiming that if gay people are allowed to marry then he should be allowed to marry his laptop.

    He even claimed he’d fallen in love with his computer, which he said was full of porn and was therefore more sexually satisfying than a human relationship.

    Sevier sounds like a lot of fun.

  2. #2
    Good Enough evhintexas's Avatar
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    10.27.16 @ 07:44 AM
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    When I was 17, I told a girl I would rather make love to my guitar than her. After 12 hours of coke induced sex, I had to concede I was wrong !!!
    "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."

    “A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.”



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