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  1. #1
    Unchained Olen's Avatar
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    10.01.99
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    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Light Up the Sky
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    11.19.17 @ 06:25 PM
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    AP News Service
    Los Angeles, CA
    20:33 February 28, 2002

    LOS ANGELES - In the wake of Warner Bros. and Van Halen parting company, and several members of the Van Halen organization leaving, two more members of the highly successful southern California band have decided to part company with the band.

    In separate press releases, Alex Van Halen's "Black Sunglasses" and "The Neck Brace" stated that they have decided to leave the Van Halen fold.

    Black Shades, as it prefers to be called, stated that it was time to pursue other work, noting that "those bastards from Ray-Ban and Oakley have been hassling me and have been courting Alex for sometime now, and I have simply had enough. Alex was always talking about 'loyalty', but he never once publicly proclaimed that Black Shades was his one and only choice of sunglasses. I became irritated with always looking over my shoulder at the others."

    Blade Shades went on to note that while it is over for its association with Alex Van Halen, it was uncertain as to the future of Van Halen.

    Neck Brace, a few hours later, stated that Alex was simply becoming a pain in the brace, and the unfavorable treatment that Alex Van Halen subjected Black Shades to was simply too much at this time.

    Neck Brace concluded the press conference by noting that "while I can say with no certainty that Van Halen, the band, is over, you will know it is over WHEN the hair lard (aka "Pig Fat") decides to call it quits." Neck Brace intimated that Pig Fat nearly joined the departing duo, but opted to stick it out a bit longer in the hopes that there would once again be peace in the Van Halen camp.

    When contacted, Alex Van Halen simply stated that he was sad to see his longtime friends go, but he still has their phone numbers, and "maybe, just maybe, we will get this circus back together for a kickass tour."

    David Lee Roth, when asked about the situation, stated "Bulzy-zy-boy-zity-boy!!"
    ******************

    [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/bounce.gif[/img]
    "The love, the echoes of long ago . . . You needed the world to know, they are in Xanadu . . ."

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium JWS_5150's Avatar
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    06.26.00
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    Charleston, SC
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    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
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    Right Now
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    05.18.09 @ 11:19 PM
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    Donor

    LOL! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    I'm one of those crazies on your block.

    writing

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing!
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    03.09.00
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    at home
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    Favorite VH Album

    A Different Kind of Truth
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    As Is
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    10.09.12 @ 02:50 PM
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    Originally posted by Olen:


    When contacted, Alex Van Halen simply stated that he was sad to see his longtime friends go, but he still has their phone numbers, and "maybe, just maybe, we will get this circus back together for a kickass tour."
    You had me going until the part about Alex speaking
    Delusions of eloquence

  4. #4
    Niners Fan! SactoFan's Avatar
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    01.07.00
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    The Tiki Bar...
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    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen 2
    Favorite VH Song

    Dance the Night Away
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    @
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    Liked 4 Times in 3 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Nice, Olen! [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    Can't stop...addicted to the shindig...

  5. #5
    Super Duper Frontman track 5's Avatar
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    12.03.17 @ 09:00 PM
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    Premium Member
    Fucking great. Now Eddie AND Alex quit? All we have now is the Obo player and the Triangle player left. I see a power ballad in the near future. LOL. Out.
    Quin-a-se-i-co

    You're a dick for putting ian on "ignore" DIF

    "You stupid fuck!" Seen

    "Well if you saw it, stats and scientific studies be damned!" Lovemachine 97 v. 2.

  6. #6
    Eruption
    Join Date
    05.03.01
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    Elz, Germany
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    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen, Fair Warning, Diver Down, 1984, OU812
    Favorite VH Song

    Atomic Punk, Mean Street, Jump, Feels So Good, The Seventh Seal
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    I'm a Dirty-Faced Kid... so could some cute female do me the favor and lick me clean, please?!<br /><br />"Nobody rules these streets at night but me... the ATOMIC PUNK!" - DLR (1978)<br /><br />"This must be just like living in paradise... and I don't wanna go home" - DLR (1988)<br /><br />"So put it off until judgment day... I bear the cross on judgment day" - Sammy Hagar (1991)<br /><br />Obey the DFK!<br /><br /><b>IF YOU'RE DFK... YOU'RE DFK 4 LIFE!</b>

  7. #7
    Good Enough Wolfie3's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

    VHII, FW, 1984, 5150, ADKOT
    Favorite VH Song

    You want me to pick just one?
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    11.28.17 @ 09:02 PM
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    Liked 27 Times in 6 Posts

    Damn you, Olen!! [img]graemlins/yell.gif[/img] [img]redface.gif[/img]

    "One of the reasons I left Sabbath was because Van Halen was blowing us off the stage every night. It was embarrassing." -Ozzy Osbourne

    "When I first heard "Runnin' With The Devil" on the radio, I was stunned and found myself dizzy, walking through my high school hallways thinking, "What was THAT?!"
    Eddie Van Halen was so innovative and kicked so much ass, and David Lee Roth was for a time indisputably the Greatest Man in America.
    If aliens came down and challenged us to a Battle of the Bands to decide the fate of Planet Earth, I would feel very confident putting early Van Halen forward as our champion." -Tom Morello

    "A lot of bands mature, which means they get square; they start delivering messages. Hey, you got a message, use Western Union." -DLR

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk Raldo's Avatar
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    Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
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    12.15.17 @ 10:50 AM
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    [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]

    Good one.
    Remember the Heroes - 9/11/01

    In 2012, the phoenix has risen!!

    "High speed, low drag."

    "Look at all the people here tonight!!!" - 10/5/07, 5/20/08 Mohegan Sun

    Congratulations to Van Halen as part of the Class of 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

    Cinco de Cabo @ Foxwoods: "A giant party with live music" - S. Hagar

    got tequila?

    http://keepitaliveforever.com

  9. #9
    Eruption
    Join Date
    03.01.00
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    Burlington, Ontario, Canada
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    Favorite VH Album

    1984
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
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    02.20.07 @ 03:36 PM
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    THAT was hilarious!!!! Very well-written and completely falling-off-the-chair hilarious. [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    "I had a girl beating on my hotel door all night...She was screaming, crying. Finally, I said, 'What the hell'...and I let her out!"- DLR

  10. #10
    Good Enough Van Gully's Avatar
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    09.04.17 @ 05:32 AM
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    Funny stuff, dude. [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]
    "Gully, watch yourself. I am dead serious." - Brett Norton, Emperor of VHLinks.com

  11. #11
    Eruption
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    fair warning
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    mean street
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    awesome dude [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    van halen shall return. what you think is nothing might be something after all.

 

 

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