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  1. #1
    Eruption
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    10.31.17 @ 04:36 AM
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    Default Edward Van Halen FIRED from VAN HALEN!

    https://nomoredavegrohl.wordpress.co...rom-van-halen/

    Monday, June 22, 2015

    Burbank, CA –

    This has been one crazy week in the Van Halen camp. First guitar god Eddie Van Halen, gives a scathing interview to Billboard Magazine, about the lack of talent and work ethic of the past and current members of Van Halen.

    "Sand in his vagina"
    “Sand in his vagina”

    The backlash was swift and fiery as fans of the band came to the defense of long time bassist Michael Anthony.

    Anthony, known for his bong rattling bass and easy going demeanor, remained silent. But former Van Halen front man and singer, Sammy Hagar came back swinging with allegations that Eddie was a liar.

    In an effort to minimize the damage to the Van Halen brand, Warner Brothers Records President Al McHumphry, released the following statement.

    In light of recent events concerning the Billboard Magazine interview. We have asked the powers that be in the Van Halen Band that they release Edward Van Halen from any further obligations, now and in the future when it comes to the Van Halen Franchise.

    While we will miss Edward and his contribution to the success of Van Halen. We find his attitude “piss poor” and we have verifiable evidence of “sand in his vagina.” This has made him a liability to the band.

    The Van Halen will be replacing Edward with adequate blues guitarist George Thorogood. And bassist Wolfgang Van Halen will be replaced with original bassist Michael Anthony. Alex Van Halen will remain with the group, as will current singer David Lee Roth.

    We hope you will understand that douche-baggery will not be tolerated. We took it for granted that Roth was lying when he was fired. When Hagar left due to similar circumstances, we assumed it was a clash of egos. Michael Anthony is relatively harmless. We have narrowed it down to Edward who is the prick. So we have let him go.

    Sincerely
    Al McHumphry
    Cock of the walk at Warner Brothers Records.

    In a statement to CNN, Roth commented on the situation. “I was telling Alex….Alex man! Do you like that song Bad to the Bone? Yeah… I do too. So I made a few calls and finally reached George on his break. I said…. GT you can quit the job at the Joan’s Wholesale Mattress Factory Outlet and come gig with the Van Halen! He’s showin’ Mikey how to play Bad to the Bone right now.

    Come on down to Joan's Wholesale Mattress Outlet. Name one other song by George Throrogood and get 15% off
    Come on down to Joan’s Wholesale Mattress Factory Outlet. Name one other song by George Throrogood and get 15% off

    Dave Grohl is upset for not being considered for the open guitarist spot.

    Roth’s reply was “Dave Grohl, The Foos were yesterday’s news! People will pay to hear THIS Van Halen play…With George Thorogood.

    When asked what the new set lists will contain, Roth replied “So far just Bad to the Bone. But Van Halen is like a party favor. Everyone loves a party favor!!!! BBBB BAD!

  2. #2
    Eruption
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    10.31.17 @ 04:36 AM
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    Default

    Sorry, just noticed this under a different title. Close please.

  3. #3
    Hang 'Em High James in New York's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 02:50 PM
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    Default

    Fashion your life as a garland of good deeds.

    - Buddha

  4. #4
    Hang 'Em High
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    12.11.17 @ 02:52 PM
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    Default

    And that VH would be relegated to open for all Circle gigs ....

    ~~8 U.S.C. § 1182(f)~~

  5. #5
    Banned!
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    01.21.16 @ 09:53 AM
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    Default

    Fire Ed and Al and hire Mikey, Sammy, Joe Satriani, and Chad Smith. Oh wait...

  6. #6
    Hang 'Em High James in New York's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 02:50 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by acs View Post
    Sorry, just noticed this under a different title. Close please.
    Fashion your life as a garland of good deeds.

    - Buddha

  7. #7
    Hang 'Em High Hurricane Halen's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

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    12.11.17 @ 01:43 PM
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    Default

    These goofy ass threads are ignorant and just down right stupid.

    So, I guess VH is gonna have its own version of, " The Onion" news?

    HH<-------lock this worthless thread up-----------
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    VH LINKS Resident Paramedic/Firefighter
    #officialhashtaghater
    Copyright holder of all things, "<-----------------"

    UC<------Goal in life to be included in an HH sig-----

  8. The Following 2 Members Like This Post:


  9. #8
    Existentially Uncertain Fontcow's Avatar
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    03.13.17 @ 07:58 PM
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    Default

    Alright... so many threads going over the same ole same ole.

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