Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 92
  1. #1
    Unchained Frosty for Teacher's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.07.12
    Posts
    537
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Last Online

    12.09.15 @ 09:35 AM
    Likes
    167
    Liked 184 Times in 74 Posts

    Default "How to Fix Van Halen"

    ok most of you might hate this, but this is just kinda tongue-in-cheek, from a more general pop culture point of view for casual fans.

    but hopefully some of you will at least enjoy it as an entertaining read:

    https://bumslogic.wordpress.com/2015...fix-van-halen/

  2. #2
    Hang 'Em High Hurricane Halen's Avatar
    Join Date
    07.17.03
    Age
    49
    Location
    Shreveport Louisiana
    Posts
    6,600
    Favorite VH Album

    All of them
    Favorite VH Song

    All of them
    Last Online

    12.16.17 @ 06:49 AM
    Likes
    3,044
    Liked 2,299 Times in 1,256 Posts

    Default

    So, Van Halen needs a Dyno, done? Is it really in that bad of shape?

    Dyno Van Halen, now?

    Hmmm

    HH<------Van Halen is not a car, btw. They're people!!!------------------
    Last edited by Hurricane Halen; 04.16.15 at 10:19 AM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    VH LINKS Resident Paramedic/Firefighter
    #officialhashtaghater
    Copyright holder of all things, "<-----------------"

    UC<------Goal in life to be included in an HH sig-----

  3. The Following Member Likes This Post:


  4. #3
    Hot For Teacher danielleesale's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.10.07
    Age
    40
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    275
    Favorite VH Album

    Balance
    Last Online

    11.19.17 @ 03:14 PM
    Likes
    1
    Liked 82 Times in 38 Posts

    Default

    Do wish they'd do the different singer thing. Worked for Slash.

  5. #4
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    05.11.12
    Posts
    20
    Last Online

    12.15.15 @ 02:20 PM
    Likes
    4
    Liked 21 Times in 9 Posts

    Default

    I did not realize Van Halen was broken, however, I was bored and could use a good chuckle so I read the suggestions.
    Irrelevant? American Idol?
    After I stopped laughing I immediately thought of a line from the movie Billy Madison.
    What you just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post, were you even close to anything that could be considered to be a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read that. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
    Last edited by janthony; 04.16.15 at 10:53 AM.

  6. The Following 2 Members Like This Post:


  7. #5
    Unchained Frosty for Teacher's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.07.12
    Posts
    537
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Last Online

    12.09.15 @ 09:35 AM
    Likes
    167
    Liked 184 Times in 74 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by janthony View Post
    I did not realize Van Halen was broken, however, I was bored and could use a good chuckle so I read the suggestions.
    Irrelevant? American Idol?
    After I stopped laughing I immediately thought of a line from the movie Billy Madison.
    What you just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post, were you even close to anything that could be considered to be a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read that. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
    thanks for reading.

    again, it's tongue-in-cheek from a "casual fan" general public point of view.... i LOVE the new live record and have tix for the show. but from a cheezeball mainstream point of view, right now VH is a bit broken. personally, i agree with you, i dig 'em as they are. i'm writing outside these walls of diehards. read my first post here, i knew people might hate it cuz it "rags on van halen." i was going for a bigger/wider audience with my incoherent babbling.

    it's kinda supposed to be a far-fetched what-if pop culture thing, take it or leave it. i thought the bolded part was a bit strong, but okay.

  8. The Following 2 Members Like This Post:


  9. #6
    Good Enough pickslide's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.02.04
    Age
    49
    Location
    Jacksonville, FL
    Posts
    1,861
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Mean Street
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 01:09 PM
    Likes
    799
    Liked 801 Times in 436 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    It's fun to think about how/if they could have done things differently. And it's certainly been dysfunctional. But Van Halen is one of the best rock and roll bands in the world, even according to other musicians and critics. Even taking into account their occasional Rip Van Winkle periods, among musicians and industry experts, they walk in the same realm as The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin... All of those bands have imploded at one time or another and have all had their share of difficulties. The only difference is the members of Van Halen won't shut up about it and have perpetuated it.

    Van Halen is fine. Even if they never make another record. Even if they fire Dave and hire Adele. There isn't a serious rock or alternative, guitar-based band whose members don't recognize their contribution.

    TK

  10. The Following Member Likes This Post:


  11. #7
    Eruption Bassman's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.08.00
    Location
    Minnesota, USA
    Posts
    711
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Beautiful Girls
    Last Online

    04.12.16 @ 04:42 PM
    Likes
    1
    Liked 19 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    You know what, fuck the "mainstream, casual" fans. We do too much catering to the lowest common denominator in this society already.
    "..Stare at disbelief at me when I just up and walk...., OUTTA LOVE!"--DLR, Outta Love Again

  12. The Following 7 Members Like This Post:


  13. #8
    Eruption
    Join Date
    01.03.12
    Age
    48
    Location
    Does it really matter?
    Posts
    1,379
    Favorite VH Album

    Back to ADKT - Cuz it is new
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    10.30.17 @ 05:08 AM
    Likes
    154
    Liked 35 Times in 25 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by janthony View Post
    I did not realize Van Halen was broken, however, I was bored and could use a good chuckle so I read the suggestions.
    Irrelevant? American Idol?
    After I stopped laughing I immediately thought of a line from the movie Billy Madison.
    What you just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent post, were you even close to anything that could be considered to be a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having read that. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
    All BS aside, I can see where that thinking comes from. When my wife and I did the Pittsburgh show on the last tour, a bunch of us old fuckers (defined as over 35) were walking to the arena from the hotel. Of course 90% of us had something that stated "Van Halen" on our persons. As we passed several larger groups of people out for a Friday night, I overheard several variations of "Who the fuck is Van Halen?!", which got some serious chuckles out of the group. We had to literally explain where the songs Jump, Right Now, Panama, etc., came from as they had zero clue

    They seem to know the music side, but the actual band and what they did / represented for our generation, not so much.

    Makes me think the Ellen and Jimmy shows were planned for that very reason. Get some newer generation PR time for them, hence more *&&^%^&*((&^%$(*)_)(()*(&*&*% remasters

    Plus, let's be honest. The thought of Dave and Sammy on the same set, knowing there has to be confrontation for it to be viewer worthy, would cause all sorts of internal VH discord again, meaning we would see the end of VH right on the TV this time!
    Last edited by evhisagod; 04.16.15 at 11:12 AM.
    It is what it is

    I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said

    I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  14. #9
    Baluchitherium Harpospoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.12.12
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    4,290
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen II
    Favorite VH Song

    Dance the Night Away
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 09:50 PM
    Likes
    10,150
    Liked 2,802 Times in 1,451 Posts

    Default

    I gotta be honest. I don't hate those ideas...kidding or not.

    Y'know...Chris Cornell might be awesome in VH. He's used to singing over weird riffs. Soundgarden didn't go near 4/4 time with a 10 foot pole.

    Quote Originally Posted by evhisagod View Post
    All BS aside, I can see where that thinking comes from. When my wife and I did the Pittsburgh show on the last tour, a bunch of us old fuckers (defined as over 35) were walking to the arena from the hotel. Of course 90% of us had something that stated "Van Halen" on our persons. As we passed several larger groups of people out for a Friday night, I overheard several variations of "Who the fuck is Van Halen?!", which got some serious chuckles out of the group. We had to literally explain where the songs Jump, Right Now, Panama, etc., came from as they had zero clue

    They seem to know the music side, but the actual band and what they did / represented for our generation, not so much.

    Makes me think the Ellen and Jimmy shows were planned for that very reason. Get some newer generation PR time for them, hence more *&&^%^&*((&^%$(*)_)(()*(&*&*% remasters
    They had to be kidding. Either that or really clueless like the kid in The Sandlot ("Babe Ruth? Who was she?") VH is a part of pop culture in the US. Screenwriters are comfortable putting jokes about VH in movies (Zombieland) and TV (Big Bang Theory). "Who are they?" bands don't get on Jimmy Kimmel and Ellen.

  15. #10
    Baluchitherium Harpospoke's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.12.12
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    4,290
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen II
    Favorite VH Song

    Dance the Night Away
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 09:50 PM
    Likes
    10,150
    Liked 2,802 Times in 1,451 Posts

    Default

    And Dave and Sammy missed a great opportunity to benefit from their dynamic. Those guys were made for each other in a "can't take my eyes off them" kind of way.

  16. #11
    Romeo Delight DRxJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.11.08
    Location
    Southwest Michigan
    Posts
    44
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained/Humans Being
    Last Online

    11.14.15 @ 03:30 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 22 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    That was good!
    Funny, tongue in cheek humor with a bit of reality added.

    "That poor bastard who sang on III" had me rolling at work!

    Nice job!
    (And yes, I would love to have an album of different singers aka Slash)

  17. #12
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    05.11.12
    Posts
    20
    Last Online

    12.15.15 @ 02:20 PM
    Likes
    4
    Liked 21 Times in 9 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Frosty for Teacher View Post
    thanks for reading.

    again, it's tongue-in-cheek from a "casual fan" general public point of view.... i LOVE the new live record and have tix for the show. but from a cheezeball mainstream point of view, right now VH is a bit broken. personally, i agree with you, i dig 'em as they are. i'm writing outside these walls of diehards. read my first post here, i knew people might hate it cuz it "rags on van halen." i was going for a bigger/wider audience with my incoherent babbling.

    it's kinda supposed to be a far-fetched what-if pop culture thing, take it or leave it. i thought the bolded part was a bit strong, but okay.
    You're welcome. My comment was somewhat tongue in cheek as well, don't take it personally. I like reading some of the "what if..." ideas, and I have done that on numerous occasions myself. The different singers idea was kicked around before they got Sammy though.

  18. #13
    Romeo Delight jokie009's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.03.02
    Age
    45
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    97
    Favorite VH Album

    All
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 04:42 PM
    Likes
    70
    Liked 7 Times in 5 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    Ha, I think all the research for that article came from here at the links...pretty sure I've seen all of those ideas here in one form or another
    Happy Trails...

    Kieffer


    I might not remember everything, but I don't forget anything -- JPK

  19. #14
    Eruption
    Join Date
    01.03.12
    Age
    48
    Location
    Does it really matter?
    Posts
    1,379
    Favorite VH Album

    Back to ADKT - Cuz it is new
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    10.30.17 @ 05:08 AM
    Likes
    154
    Liked 35 Times in 25 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Harpospoke View Post
    I gotta be honest. I don't hate those ideas...kidding or not.

    Y'know...Chris Cornell might be awesome in VH. He's used to singing over weird riffs. Soundgarden didn't go near 4/4 time with a 10 foot pole.


    They had to be kidding. Either that or really clueless like the kid in The Sandlot ("Babe Ruth? Who was she?") VH is a part of pop culture in the US. Screenwriters are comfortable putting jokes about VH in movies (Zombieland) and TV (Big Bang Theory). "Who are they?" bands don't get on Jimmy Kimmel and Ellen.
    Maybe not, but again, of my 4 kids (19, twins at 27 and a 29 year old), two do not have a friggin clue about VH, and I am a fanatic. They know the song, but not the group at all. It's like a light goes on in their head when they figure it out

    As to your comment about "Who are they bands", it works two ways. Admittedly newer music is not my thing outside of rock, so as an experiment to myself I just pulled up the Kimmel website for musical guests, and this is what I see (just from March and April of this year, mind you)

    Drew Holcomb and the neighbors
    CHIC
    The War on Drugs
    Death Cab for Cutie
    JoyWave
    Carly Rae Jepsen
    The Afghan Wigs
    AWOLNATION
    Spoon
    James Bay
    The Weekend

    And the list goes on

    Who the hell are these people? I may hear the song and know it, but actually knowing the bands name AND the song, no chance.
    It is what it is

    I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said

    I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  20. #15
    Romeo Delight Big Guitars's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.17.14
    Location
    Amherst, Ohio
    Posts
    118
    Favorite VH Album

    VH I
    Favorite VH Song

    I'm the One
    Last Online

    12.15.17 @ 04:17 PM
    Likes
    561
    Liked 93 Times in 48 Posts

    Default

    I agree with the idea that we need more Dave songs about ice cream, women's undergarments, or both.

  21. The Following Member Likes This Post:


 

 

Similar Threads

  1. "Say Uncle," "You Wear It Well," "River Wide" and "Left for Dead."
    By extreme red roth in forum VH Songs/Albums/Videos
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 12.28.16, 06:31 PM
  2. I HATE the terms "Van Hagar" and "classic Van Halen"
    By Bad to the Bone in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 105
    Last Post: 07.28.14, 01:42 PM
  3. will be any new "Star Trek," "James Bond" and "Superman" movies in the future?
    By Ilovevh in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06.30.11, 07:46 AM
  4. "Emergency", "Night Gallery", "Kojak" To Return Via NBC Owned Websites...
    By chefcraig in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02.25.08, 05:36 PM
  5. Since "The Osbournes"is so damn funny, why not "The Van Halen Family"?
    By atomicpunk5150 in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03.23.02, 04:26 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •