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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
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    Default husband creates spreadsheet of wife's excuses for not having sex with him

    The man compiled an Excel document showing a month's worth of his wife's responses to his requests for sex, which she then shared online



    A sexually-frustrated husband compiled a spreadsheet charting a whole month’s worth of his wife’s excuses for refusing to have sex with him, including “I might be getting sick” and “I still don’t feel 100%”.

    For a whole month the amorous husband jotted down every response from his other half when he asked her for intimacy, which elicited replies such as “I feel gross” and “I’m watching the show”, which he claims was a re-run of a Friends episode.

    The unnamed man then collated the information and put it into an excel document before emailing it to his wife as she arrived at an airport ahead of a 10-day business trip.

    Excuses also include "I'm exhausted", "I need a shower" (didn't shower until next morning), "I'm trying to watch the movie" (fell asleep 15 min later) along with a few cases of not feeling too well and a number of ‘non-verbals’.

    Shocked at the email, the anonymous lady tried to get in touch with her husband but found he had cut contact with her.

    In the end, she decided to share her husband's endeavour with users of social networking site Reddit by uploading the spreadsheet.

    She then wrote: "Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone.

    "He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone.

    "Attached is a spreadsheet of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my "excuses", using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment."

    The spreadsheet, which has since been deleted, quickly went viral with people taking both sides in the debate.

    Most people criticised the husband's "immaturity" and said he should have gone about it in a different way.

    One Reddit user wrote: "There are so many ways this could have been communicated better, but instead he came up with some bizarre hit and run with a spreadsheet method which I'd say is actually going to be really hard to come back to a normal relationship from."

    Another user said: "Your husband is expressing legitimate concerns in an extremely immature and passive aggressive way. Clearly, the communication style in your relationship is shit. Fix it or don't, it's your marriage."

    But another user added: "Maybe her husband has got sick and tired of being totally and utterly ignored for months on end, has had enough and wants resolution to the issue. This time, after all attempts, he has got her attention."

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relat...-with-him.html
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk CaboChris's Avatar
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    What's the point of being married if one of THE major components to a healthy marriage is non-existent?

    Maybe the guy is just lousy in the sack or maybe she has health considerations that make it uncomfortable, we don't know.

    It's childish on the part of both of them though. He needs to get a fleshlight and handle his business and she needs to drop the excuses. Feeling "gross" or not having had a shower is complete crap.

  3. #3
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 04:49 PM
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    Default

    I think they say the average married couple has sex just over a once a week. This guy isn't far from that. The difference is that most guys don't keep an f-ing spreadsheet to track it.

  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! Jesus H Christ's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 04:09 PM
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    Default

    "The less I needed, the better I felt." ~ Charles Bukowski.

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium Scott's Avatar
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    2x per month??? What is the guy, a rock star?

    I see this marriage ending shortly, and it won't be because of lack of sex

  6. #6
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by It's Mike View Post
    I think they say the average married couple has sex just over a once a week. This guy isn't far from that. The difference is that most guys don't keep an f-ing spreadsheet to track it.

    Nice to be above average at something.
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


    What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison


    Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

  7. #7
    Forum Frontman Double Down's Avatar
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    11.17.17 @ 12:11 PM
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    Default

    Sadly this guys problem is the norm. Who is surprised by this? Just talk to your married guy friends of several years. The kids...stress....weight gain.....lol. It all adds up to no sack time. I tip my hat to this guy for calling her on it.
    .
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  8. #8
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
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    Guy finally got her attention. And he did give it to her good on the 10th.
    "I'm the opposite of Bill Cosby. Diamond Dave always gets your approval." (DLR)

    "Kids, just say NO to marriage". (Al Bundy)

    Rawhide in "A"

    OAA

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk edwardv's Avatar
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    Default

    The average unmarried guy has a lot less sex and less headaches lol.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    EVH 1979: Well, actually it's not much of a vacation, because we run everything ourselves. We design our own album cover, we have to be in the office every day to sign checks - the whole corporation revolves around us. Nothing can be done without our approval. We even have photo approval.

  10. #10
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood P. View Post
    . And he did give it to her good on the 10th.

    Thor picked up a girl in a bar and they went back to her place where he proceeded to do things only a god can do. Next morning as he's drinking coffee he feels guilty that she doesn't realize he is in fact a god with abilities no mortal man has and that he should clue her in to his identity. As she enters the kitchen he proclaims "I am Thor!" To which she replies "Me too, I can barely pith."
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


    What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison


    Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

  11. #11
    Eruption
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    10.26.17 @ 05:29 PM
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    Default

    What she says: "I'm sweaty and gross and tired".

    What she means: "I'm sweaty and gross and tired because I had sex with a guy I met on Craigslist while you were at work".

  12. #12
    Baluchitherium
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by VHisback View Post
    What she says: "I'm sweaty and gross and tired".

    What she means: "I'm sweaty and gross and tired because I had sex with a guy I met on Craigslist while you were at work".
    Call me a caveman but I wouldn't care if my wife were sweaty and gross at all. This woman just sounds like a prude who is trying to make her man cheat on her so she can shop for a new husband.
    "Alcoholism, is like, the only disease you can get yelled at for having" - Mitch
    Hedberg

  13. #13
    Eruption
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dick Punch View Post
    Call me a caveman but I wouldn't care if my wife were sweaty and gross at all.
    Well, she used to wake me up for breakfast
    Force feed me with a silver spoon
    Even do me when I'm dirty
    We let it roll till way past noon

    Yeah, but all that's changed
    'Cause it's all down the drain, yeah

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk CaboChris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dick Punch View Post
    Call me a caveman but I wouldn't care if my wife were sweaty and gross at all.
    Me either.

    Being "unclean" as an excuse not to have sex is straight up bullshit.

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk I Coulda Hada VH's Avatar
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    Default

    I don't condone adultery, but if a wife constantly turns down her husband for sex, she shouldn't be surprised if/when he goes and finds it somewhere else. That goes for a husband who constantly rejects his wife, also.
    "It's so lonely at the top because it's so crowded at the bottom" - Diamond David Lee Roth

    "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

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