Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! Jesus H Christ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen II
    Favorite VH Song

    Outta Love Again
    Last Online

    10.26.16 @ 06:36 PM
    Liked 1,294 Times in 498 Posts

    Premium Member

    Default I'd like to smash you in the face with my shillelagh

    Thank you, thank you very much. Well it's come that time again, St. Patrick's Day has come and gone and well the sons of Ireland are basking in the glow. When I think of Ireland I think a lot of colorful Irish expressions like, "Top of the morning to ya," "Kiss the barney stone," "May the road rise to meet ya," "May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead," "I'd like to smash you in the face with my shalalee," "Danny-boy," "Bhagora," "Wail of the banshee," and "Whiskey for the leprechauns, whisky for the leprechauns." But the expression I think most people identify with the Irish, is, of course, the luck of the Irish.

    The luck of the Irish. Sure. Let's say you're in a pub somewhere in Ireland, oh, anywhere in Ireland, some guy comes up to you and says, "Hey is that a bomb on you I hear ticking?" And then BAM!!! Your small intestines are on the ceiling and your brains are on your car across the street. That's the luck of the Irish for ya, who's kidding who, okay?

    Let's talk about the bad luck of the Irish, all right? How about this, POTATO FAMINE!! How about that? It scares them, doesn't it? Well it should. That's why they came here in the first place. So they wouldn't have to work in the potato fields. That's why they became politicians, priests, and cops. Luck? Gimme a break.

    I got a friend, his name is Dan Sullivan, he's Irish as they come. We used to drink together a lot. After two drinks, he would look like an Irish pirate. You know? You think he had luck? In one day he got his car stolen, and the stupid, he had no insurance, and no license, and he gets locked up for being drunk. And after that, he takes off for someplace like India or Nepal, or someplace like that. And his mother dies, ya know, so they wire him to tell him to come to the funeral. It's his mother's funeral, that's all. And he's in India or Nepal, sitting squat-legged listening to some sacred cow. So he comes back and he gets stopped at U.S. Customs for trafficking illegal drugs, not holding, he's trafficking. I mean, here's this guy Sullivan, his old lady kicks off, he gets popped at the border and he's sitting on fifty pounds of black Tibetan finger hash and two keys of slam. Now that's not bad luck, that's DUMB luck. I don't think luck has anything to do with it, I don't think he has any brains at all. First of all, he's drunk, then he's a junkie. I don't know what's worse. Don't ask me, ask Sullivan. And what happens? He calls me up and says, "Hey man, I got busted at the border. I need five grand bail." I said, I said, "Five grand man!? Hey man, I've never even seen five thousand dollars in my life, so don't ask me for it, man, why don't you ask your mother!!" Which was a dumb thing for me to say because his mother just died. Right now, I got this drunken Irish junkie who wants to kill me because of what I said about his mother being in terminal dreamland. Oh pal. One thing! One thing!!! They love their mothers, boy, oh they love their mothers. It's momma this, momma that. Oh my Irish mother! Ireland must be heaven, because my mother.. aauugghhh! Aaauugghhh!!
    "The less I needed, the better I felt." ~ Charles Bukowski.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk RRvh1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Favorite VH Album

    VH, 1984, 5150, F.U.C.K.
    Favorite VH Song

    A few of Daves, a few of Sams!
    Last Online

    10.26.16 @ 11:54 PM
    Liked 4,615 Times in 3,243 Posts

    Premium Member


    "Jane , you ignorant sl*t" . Haha .
    Gotta love the old SNL shows . Timeless .
    "There's too many people on this basketball that's floating around the sun, who are too afraid to allow themselves to FEEL" - Edward Van Halen
    "Van Halen was never about the singer..." - a very wise fan.
    "Embrace the past. Live in the moment but keep your eyes on the future, and keep on moving forward..." - Richie Sambora

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk jimmy812's Avatar
    Join Date
    Last Online

    08.11.16 @ 05:57 AM
    Liked 327 Times in 204 Posts


    It's days like this, makes me happy I'm Italian.

    Having said that, I'm looking forward to some corned beef and cabbage for dinner tonight!!
    2-time Fantasy Baseball Champion.

  4. #4
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    1060 W. Addison, Chicago
    Favorite VH Album

    Favorite VH Song

    Sensible Shoes
    Last Online

    10.26.16 @ 11:22 AM
    Liked 653 Times in 459 Posts

    Premium Member


    Happy St. Pats day to all you Micks out there. Cheers!
    "I'm the opposite of Bill Cosby. Diamond Dave always gets your approval." (DLR)

    "Kids, just say NO to marriage". (Al Bundy)

    Rawhide in "A"




Similar Threads

  1. Spa did this to my face
    By Mister T. in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10.03.12, 10:02 AM
  2. let just face it
    By EDDIE812 in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07.16.02, 07:15 AM
  3. Smash Mouth
    By Scott in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 05.31.02, 02:36 AM
  4. Let's face it, they're done
    By VHLiceman in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04.10.02, 06:55 PM
  5. Let's face it, they're done
    By VHLiceman in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04.10.02, 11:33 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts