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  1. #1
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    09.24.02
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    North Central OKC
    Posts
    4,582
    Favorite VH Album

    VH, WACF, FW, 5150, OU812
    Favorite VH Song

    Dreams/Unchained/InASR/5150
    Last Online

    11.25.17 @ 04:30 AM
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    Default Rhinofy-And The Cradle Will Rock... [Bob Lefsetz's Blog]

    The latest blog post from Bob...love it!

    ------- ------- -------

    It's my favorite Van Halen song.

    Once upon a time, I had a free subscription to AOL when you had to pay by the hour. As a result, I checked out every nook and cranny of the service, from the chat rooms to the dating boards. And after lurking for a while, I decided to play, and e-mailed a woman for a date.

    She never responded.

    But two months later, finding myself on Love@AOL once again, I saw her picture and decided to take a second chance. This time she responded, this time she said yes, she said she'd held off at first because I had the same name as her ex. Huh?

    Anyway, after talking on the phone I agreed to drive out to the 805 area code for a date at a sushi bar in Thousand Oaks. This was long before Internet geographical undesirability, this was back when we were still intrigued by our newfangled online connectedness and believed, just maybe, our heart's desire was out there and now we could find them.

    Now I'm not saying I'm a slow mover, but from the moment this woman entered the restaurant, not looking as good as her picture, it was clear this wasn't an informal get-together, but that we were ALREADY TOGETHER!

    She'd decided I was the one. She was talking about our relationship to the other patrons. She was touching me. Sounds horrifying and gratifying all at the same time, I know.

    And I was trying to play along, but I was slowly becoming speechless. I mean we all want sex, but we're all reluctant to enter the bizzaro world.

    And when we were done, we drove in my car to Music Plus, so I could advise her on records to buy. Shopping together is always intimate.

    And when we were done, we got back into my automobile and I put on "And The Cradle Will Rock..."

    Maybe subconsciously I was testing her.

    You've got to know, I believe in world class car stereo systems. With a zillion speakers and powerful amplifiers. Not the kind you hear from the mini-truck next door to you at a light, but a variation on what you experience at the high end audio shop, back when they used to have those.

    I fired up the Alpine head unit. It spoke to the CD changer in the trunk. The ADS amps came to life and the plethora of ADS speakers started emanating this spectacular sound.

    Come on, you know the record...

    It begins with a glorious noise that sounds like Eddie Van Halen is landing a jet on an aircraft carrier, and then Alex starts to pound, Michael Anthony holds down the bottom, and David Lee Roth implores us to GET UP!

    You can just picture it, you've been there. Cocooned in your automobile as you're enveloped in this wondrous noise.

    "Well, they say it's kinda frightnin'
    How this younger generation swings"

    Yes it is. This woman was horrified. It's like an invisible force field immediately surrounded her as she put her hands over her ears and exclaimed...TAKE ME TO MY CAR!

    "And when some local kid gets down
    They try and drum him outta town"

    I immediately turned it down. But it was already too late. She was no longer speaking to me. I drove across the vast parking to her automobile, whereupon I tried to rescue the evening, suggesting we go to her house for some follow-up.

    But she wanted nothing to do with me, we were done.

    And that, my friends, is the power of rock and roll.

    Spotify link: http://spoti.fi/p6HcZ8

    "The shit I read on this site." -- Dave's Dreidel (Nov 6th, 2013)

    "Don't ever confuse talent with fame." -- Bob Lefsetz

    "There's very little greatness in this world, but in the crucible of quality there's a special corner reserved for Van Halen." -- Bob Lefsetz

  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing! Heisenberg's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.28.12
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    vancouver
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    3,647
    Favorite VH Album

    all 7
    Favorite VH Song

    ATBL & The Full Bug
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 08:41 AM
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    Liked 1,978 Times in 892 Posts

    Default

    Oh, I don't know. Wouldn't his story of been better if he actually got the girl.
    " On a scale that ranges from deep dark depression to rip roaring fun ... most people idle between pissed off ...and not too pissed off " DLR 1997

    " I am the danger ... I am the one who knocks " Walter White 2011

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.10.05
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    Kate Upton's Closet
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    37,944
    Favorite VH Album

    Alex, Dave, Ed and Mike
    Favorite VH Song

    The songs with Ed on them
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    12.17.17 @ 01:34 PM
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    Default

    I think it was to his advantage that he didn't. It is sometimes better in the long run to NOT get the girl.
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk I Coulda Hada VH's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.29.00
    Location
    Land O' Lakers
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    30,513
    Favorite VH Album

    The First One
    Favorite VH Song

    I'm The One
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    12.17.17 @ 01:37 PM
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    Liked 16,573 Times in 9,400 Posts

    Default

    One night way back in the summer of 1983, I was out with my girlfriend. We got into my Honda Civic and I cranked up the volume on my cassette of "Fair Warning". Her response was, "Turn that off or take me home!" I almost asked her to get out and walk. We broke up shortly thereafter. Classic Van Halen: Weeding out women who don't rock for more than 30 years ...
    "It's so lonely at the top because it's so crowded at the bottom" - Diamond David Lee Roth

    "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

    "Be careful what you wish for because you just might lose what you already have"

    "Women and Children First ... The REAL Van Halen III"

  5. #5
    Banned!
    Join Date
    09.21.13
    Age
    47
    Location
    Space Station 5
    Posts
    1,380
    Favorite VH Album

    Balance
    Favorite VH Song

    Mine All Mine/The Seventh Seal
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    05.16.15 @ 10:42 AM
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    Liked 213 Times in 135 Posts

    Default

    The woman who became my wife, liked Van Halen when I met her. She came to love Van Halen once we were together--no choice. We danced to When It's Love at our wedding. We were having an afternoon delight when our local rock station debuted Poundcake. She has seen 14 shows with me: 11 with Sammy, 1 with Gary, and 2 with Dave. A damn good woman.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.10.05
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    Favorite VH Album

    Alex, Dave, Ed and Mike
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    The songs with Ed on them
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    12.17.17 @ 01:34 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Redfoot View Post
    The woman who became my wife, liked Van Halen when I met her. She came to love Van Halen once we were together--no choice. We danced to When It's Love at our wedding. We were having an afternoon delight when our local rock station debuted Poundcake. She has seen 14 shows with me: 11 with Sammy, 1 with Gary, and 2 with Dave. A damn good woman.
    Poundcake is 5:22 long. Did you pound the cake for the entire five minutes and twenty two seconds, or does that include cuddle time?
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    06.02.09
    Location
    Southern California
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    4,751
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Respect my Wind
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    12.17.17 @ 11:03 AM
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    Liked 1,140 Times in 650 Posts

    Default

    Nikki Taylor and Angie Everhart are VH fans, that says it all for me.
    "Alcoholism, is like, the only disease you can get yelled at for having" - Mitch
    Hedberg

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk I Coulda Hada VH's Avatar
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    The First One
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    12.17.17 @ 01:37 PM
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    Default

    Do you think the blonde in this video (who hails from the Netherlands) would ever ask someone to turn off "Fair Warning"?

    "It's so lonely at the top because it's so crowded at the bottom" - Diamond David Lee Roth

    "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

    "Be careful what you wish for because you just might lose what you already have"

    "Women and Children First ... The REAL Van Halen III"

 

 

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