Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 21
  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    10.11.09
    Posts
    10,568
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 09:05 PM
    Likes
    575
    Liked 1,489 Times in 1,018 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default Evangelical Pastor convinced followers his penis contained HOLY MILK

    Valdeci Sobrino Picanto is a Brazilian Evangelical Pastor. He has been arrested after deceiving the faithful using the name of the "Holy Spirit", by using these foolish lies.

    This criminal pastor claimed that the Holy Spirit would secrete from his penis in the form of "sacred milk". This pastor said that his penis was blessed and that "the Lord had consecrated him with divine milk of the Holy Spirit" and, of course, he had to release it in order to "evangelize".

    "He has convinced us that only God could come into our lives through our mouth and that's why he would do what he did". Often, after worship, pastor Valdeci would take us to the where the funds were kept at the back of the Church and asked us to have Oral sex with him until the Holy Spirit would come through ejaculation". This is the testimony of one of his victims.

    This pastor is already in jail where, he said when they arrested him, that he intends to continue watering his cellmates with his sacred milk.
    http://www.vaticancrimes.us/2013/01/...followers.html

    I want to laugh but this still is so fucked up that I can't.
    Michael Caine on Jaws: The Revenge:

    "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built and it is terrific."

    Samuel Johnson 1775 : “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel”

    "McDonalds is The Antichrist" - Bill Hicks

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSH6ofHbeUw

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    11.10.10
    Location
    North Wales, United Kingdom
    Posts
    10,172
    Favorite VH Album

    Love 'em all! (esp. F.U.C.K)
    Favorite VH Song

    The Dream Is Over
    Last Online

    12.04.17 @ 04:15 PM
    Likes
    1,571
    Liked 1,228 Times in 845 Posts

    Default

    Hmmm, that phrase, "my penis is sacred"...It sounds familiar somehow...
    I'm FEMALE...Deal with it!

    "Whatever you do, wherever you go, there you are..." Edward Van Halen 1986

    "You spend the first part of your life trying to make your mark, and the second part just trying to cover up your tracks"... Weesfreewheelin, 2012

    "Life's too short to stuff a mushroom"... Shirley Conran, 1975

    "You turn if you want to...The LADY is NOT for turning!"...Margaret
    Thatcher, 1980


  3. #3
    Atomic Punk CaboChris's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.23.11
    Age
    45
    Location
    Reno, NV
    Posts
    15,759
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning/5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained/Best of Both Worlds
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 02:45 PM
    Likes
    4,338
    Liked 7,898 Times in 4,620 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dibblekins View Post
    Hmmm, that phrase, "my penis is sacred"...It sounds familiar somehow...
    To quote a line from a movie about boxing promoter Don King. He's in a public toilet and gets ready to leave when another guy says "aren't you going to wash your hands"? Don says "I wash my hands BEFORE I touch my dick"!!!

    Yup.

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.04
    Location
    Secret Witness Protection Location
    Posts
    31,731
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Mike played on
    Favorite VH Song

    Anything Mike played on
    Last Online

    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
    Likes
    34
    Liked 60 Times in 35 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    O come all ye faithful!
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.09.00
    Age
    45
    Posts
    11,665
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen 1
    Favorite VH Song

    Somebody Get Me A Doctor
    Last Online

    08.27.17 @ 09:39 AM
    Likes
    45
    Liked 185 Times in 105 Posts

    Default

    This thread can suck it!
    Just go for it!

  6. #6
    Good Enough ignorance_is_bliss's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.26.10
    Age
    32
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    2,008
    Favorite VH Album

    Women and Children First
    Favorite VH Song

    TIE! Humans Being and HAIL
    Last Online

    09.07.17 @ 09:37 PM
    Likes
    9
    Liked 90 Times in 37 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LLFHS View Post
    O come all ye faithful!
    Joyful and triumph...gargle! gag! retch!!

  7. #7
    Hang 'Em High sickman's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.13.04
    Posts
    6,170
    Favorite VH Album

    Complete Zero
    Favorite VH Song

    Lets Get Rockin
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 03:56 AM
    Likes
    548
    Liked 1,863 Times in 732 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Brilliant

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.10.05
    Age
    47
    Location
    Kate Upton's Closet
    Posts
    37,969
    Favorite VH Album

    Alex, Dave, Ed and Mike
    Favorite VH Song

    The songs with Ed on them
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 02:33 PM
    Likes
    3,518
    Liked 18,202 Times in 8,994 Posts

    Default

    Not trying to be contrarian, but why was he arrested? A priest arrested for lying to his congregation?

    They are adults, he didn't rape anybody, he just told everyone that he had special juice. It is their own damn fault for believing it. Whose the bigger fool, the one telling the outlandish lie or the one believing it?

    I tell my wife that all the time, every time she is sick I remind her that she just needs some of "Dr. Dreidel's cumicilin, and everything will be ok!"
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    11.10.10
    Location
    North Wales, United Kingdom
    Posts
    10,172
    Favorite VH Album

    Love 'em all! (esp. F.U.C.K)
    Favorite VH Song

    The Dream Is Over
    Last Online

    12.04.17 @ 04:15 PM
    Likes
    1,571
    Liked 1,228 Times in 845 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave's Dreidel View Post

    I tell my wife that all the time, every time she is sick I remind her that she just needs some of "Dr. Dreidel's cumicilin, and everything will be ok!"
    I'm FEMALE...Deal with it!

    "Whatever you do, wherever you go, there you are..." Edward Van Halen 1986

    "You spend the first part of your life trying to make your mark, and the second part just trying to cover up your tracks"... Weesfreewheelin, 2012

    "Life's too short to stuff a mushroom"... Shirley Conran, 1975

    "You turn if you want to...The LADY is NOT for turning!"...Margaret
    Thatcher, 1980


  10. #10
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.10.05
    Age
    47
    Location
    Kate Upton's Closet
    Posts
    37,969
    Favorite VH Album

    Alex, Dave, Ed and Mike
    Favorite VH Song

    The songs with Ed on them
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 02:33 PM
    Likes
    3,518
    Liked 18,202 Times in 8,994 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dibblekins View Post
    Nah, she doesn't spit, she gargles...she's a show off.
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  11. #11
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.17.08
    Age
    57
    Location
    Goose Poop, Ohio
    Posts
    13,074
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Panama
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 03:53 PM
    Likes
    1,819
    Liked 2,243 Times in 1,359 Posts

    Default

    just goes to show that for every gullible person there's a line up of people waiting to take advantage of them

    survivor of the Bowling Green Massacre 9-3-2016 BGSU 10 OSU 77

    She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    11.10.10
    Location
    North Wales, United Kingdom
    Posts
    10,172
    Favorite VH Album

    Love 'em all! (esp. F.U.C.K)
    Favorite VH Song

    The Dream Is Over
    Last Online

    12.04.17 @ 04:15 PM
    Likes
    1,571
    Liked 1,228 Times in 845 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave's Dreidel View Post
    Nah, she doesn't spit, she gargles...she's a show off.
    Aaah, yesss, how did I know that was...coming? (It made me shudder to write that, but you know how it is: sometimes only a pun will do...)

    I have to say, DD, one thing I will miss about this site is your predictably crass sexual jokes; I'm so used to them that they've become almost endearing to me!
    I'm FEMALE...Deal with it!

    "Whatever you do, wherever you go, there you are..." Edward Van Halen 1986

    "You spend the first part of your life trying to make your mark, and the second part just trying to cover up your tracks"... Weesfreewheelin, 2012

    "Life's too short to stuff a mushroom"... Shirley Conran, 1975

    "You turn if you want to...The LADY is NOT for turning!"...Margaret
    Thatcher, 1980


  13. #13
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.10.05
    Age
    47
    Location
    Kate Upton's Closet
    Posts
    37,969
    Favorite VH Album

    Alex, Dave, Ed and Mike
    Favorite VH Song

    The songs with Ed on them
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 02:33 PM
    Likes
    3,518
    Liked 18,202 Times in 8,994 Posts

    Default

    Well, I would dare say that in a thread about a penis that contains holy milk, you should expect some crude humour.

    See how I added the "u", since we are soon to part and never talk again, I am compromising.
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk bklynboy68's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.10.12
    Posts
    18,868
    Favorite VH Album

    The Magnificent 7
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 02:36 PM
    Likes
    12,971
    Liked 11,796 Times in 6,538 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    BRETT, PLEASE LET THIS ^ GO ON
     "He has a swaggering retro machismo that will give hives to the Steinem cabal" -Camille Paglia on Donald Trump

    "Make way for the bad guy"- Tony Montana

    'This hamburger don't need no helper"- David Lee Roth

    "I wish Bon Jovi would've given me a call before he recorded all of his hits, because the lyrics would've been smarter, the melodies would've been much more smashing, and they would've sold a lot fewer records." -David Lee Roth

    "My beef is people thinking Bon Jovi is good cuz they sold lots of records to housewives." -tango

    "But being number one doesn’t really mean jack fuck all. We sold twice as many records as other records that year (1984) that landed in the Number One position." ~Eddie Van Halen

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk CaboChris's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.23.11
    Age
    45
    Location
    Reno, NV
    Posts
    15,759
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning/5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained/Best of Both Worlds
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 02:45 PM
    Likes
    4,338
    Liked 7,898 Times in 4,620 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    "Cumicilin" and a guys wife gargling as opposed to spitting is endearing? Wtf?

    I have to hand it to you DD, Deb must really like you. Wow!

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Hard-Line Muslim Meeting Draws 90,000 Followers
    By voivod in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 08.13.07, 06:06 AM
  2. FOX News: Top Evangelical Leader Resigns Amid Allegations of Gay Affair
    By Little Dreamer in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 11.05.06, 04:47 PM
  3. I'm convinced....it was all an act.
    By againstthewind in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 66
    Last Post: 09.22.06, 12:30 PM
  4. I'm convinced NOW more than ever that....
    By hain23x in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09.05.01, 09:21 PM
  5. I'm convinced NOW more than ever that....
    By hain23x in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09.04.01, 02:19 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •