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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk bklynboy68's Avatar
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    05.24.18 @ 04:54 PM
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    Default MINISTRY's AL JOURGENSEN: If You Haven't Blanked Blank Before, You're Missing Out

    MINISTRY's AL JOURGENSEN: If You Haven't Blanked Blank Before, You're Really Missing Out

    August 13, 2013

    MINISTRY mainman Al Jourgensen discusses sex, drugs and rock and roll and his new autobiography in the new issue of Record Collector, out now. Excerpts from the feature are below.

    Record Collector: You talk a lot in the book about Courtney Love's lavish pubic hair. I bet you couldn't verify that story too easily.

    Al Jourgensen: Oh no — we have witnesses. [laughs] I'm sorry. That one's actually easy. Some of the stories are a bit dodgy, but that one is spot-on. [We] went right to the source. You know what? That girl is entirely unhuman. I don't mean to diss her, but I'm just saying. I knew Kurt [Cobain, Love's late husband] and he was cool. That chick's a douchebag. I said it, I'll stand by it. I'm sure she doesn't have too many nice things to say about me either. Me and Mikey [Sciaccia, late MINISTRY guitarist] would go to her room and steal her heroin. We were such junkies. [laughs]

    Record Collector: It was courageous of you to write about your one gay experience, when you gave a buddy a blowjob.

    Al Jourgensen: Wait, I gave a what?

    Record Collector: You gave a blowjob to one of the guys in your early band, special affect. It's on page 48.

    Al Jourgensen: Oh yeah, I've sucked dick before, Jesus Christ. If you haven't, you're really missing out. Just give a guy a blowjob and he's happy.

    Record Collector: I liked the way you wrote "Is this still controversial in this day and age?"

    Al Jourgensen: Well, people are still freaked out about this. Seriously, I mean, you're asking me about it. OK, yeah, I gave blowjobs. So what? I was actually pretty good.

    Record Collector: There's a cool story about you forcing METALLICA to vacate your dressing room by sticking all the vegetables on the rider up your arse and then running backwards at them.

    Al Jourgensen: That actually has a name: the Flying Dutchman. I attacked them with vegetables sticking out of my ass. Their guitarist, Kirk Hammett, is good. The rest of them were really afraid of me. That singer never wants to see me again. Kirk was the only one who got the humor in MINISTRY, so I worked with him for a while.

    Record Collector: What's the status of LARD, your side project with DEAD KENNEDYS singer Jello Biafra?

    Al Jourgensen: I love working with Jello, because he's a freak. A freak! No no no no, listen to me, he comes to my house with gloves on, rubber gloves, and some kind of cleaning fluid. So he comes here in white gloves and cleanses our house. I let him go with it: if that's what floats your boat, then go with it. He wants to have this place clean. [laughs] Yeah, you'll see some more music from LARD. I love Jello. There's always room for Jello. We're working it out, we're talking, and yeah, there'll be a new LARD record.

    Record Collector: Will there be any more albums from REVOLTING COCKS?

    Al Jourgensen: That band is done. Done, done, done. Done. OK? I'm not doing any more REVOLTING COCKS albums, and I'm not doing any more MINISTRY albums either. The next album I'm doing is with Lil Wayne, the rapper. I like him. I didn't know who he was, but we drank all morning in Arizona and then about two hours later my driver tells me, "Hey, do you know who that was?" I'm like, "No." He says, "It was Lil Wayne." He had the same dreads and tattoos as me and we got along great, man.

    Record Collector: What are you going to do when you retire?

    Al Jourgensen: Dude, I have a system. I love my life. I wake up every morning and I ride 50 miles. Fifty fuckin' miles, which is the exact distance between El Paso and Las Cruces in Texas. Then I do a thousand situps, and then I just basically get drunk.

    Record Collector: Is that a sustainable lifestyle in the long term?

    Al Jourgensen: I think it's pretty sustainable compared to the other shit I've done.

    Record Collector: How come you're still alive?

    Al Jourgensen: Hey, I'm a blessed person. I don't know what the hell happened. That book makes me sound like I'm fucked, but I'm a blessed person. Blessed. Blessed. I don't know how the hell I'm still hanging around. All my friends are dead. All right? I don't know if I have a cockroach gene or something, I've outlived them all. Well, wait — me and Lemmy are still having a fight! [laughs] He's 10 years older than me. I'm gonna outlive him. How's that?
     "He has a swaggering retro machismo that will give hives to the Steinem cabal" -Camille Paglia on Donald Trump

    "Make way for the bad guy"- Tony Montana

    'This hamburger don't need no helper"- David Lee Roth

    "I wish Bon Jovi would've given me a call before he recorded all of his hits, because the lyrics would've been smarter, the melodies would've been much more smashing, and they would've sold a lot fewer records." -David Lee Roth

    "My beef is people thinking Bon Jovi is good cuz they sold lots of records to housewives." -tango

    "But being number one doesn’t really mean jack fuck all. We sold twice as many records as other records that year (1984) that landed in the Number One position." ~Eddie Van Halen

  2. #2
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    05.24.18 @ 06:45 PM
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    Is there a button that will allow me to un-read that?

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk I Coulda Hada VH's Avatar
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    05.24.18 @ 06:09 PM
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    "You suck one dick, and all of a sudden you're a homo!"

    - Ralph Saenz' standard joke when talking about some members in the audience probably thinking that he and the band looked like "a bunch of fags" at several Atomic Punks shows when he was still fronting the band.
    "It's so lonely at the top because it's so crowded at the bottom" - Diamond David Lee Roth

    "Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners" - George Carlin

    "Women and Children First ... The REAL Van Halen III"

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk MF5150's Avatar
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    05.24.18 @ 03:37 PM
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    I guess Ill just have to try to live the rest of my life not knowing the charms and splendour that sucking another mans salami will bring to it.
    Last edited by MF5150; 08.13.13 at 07:14 PM.
    My man, when you are fantasizing, don't go for attainable, you can get attainable at the local Applebee's. - Dave's Dreidel

  5. #5
    ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Number 47's Avatar
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    05.24.18 @ 08:42 PM
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    Al's a pretty scary looking dude. He looks like if he wants to suck your junk, he's gonna suck your junk. Oh well! it happens.

  6. #6
    Good Enough
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    05.24.18 @ 05:53 PM
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    Junkies will do anything. Even Lemmy's had sex with men as well.

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
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    05.23.18 @ 07:35 PM
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    If there ever was a thread I wished I hadn't gone into, this is it.

    Slowly backing away, without veggies in my arse, and leaving the room just the way I found it.

    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    A man's rights rests in three boxes: the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk
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    03.30.18 @ 08:03 AM
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    "I respect that youre passionate about this but what your saying is complete idiocy..." - MF5150 on McDonald's "preying" on young kids.

    "He was born a human, he's a horse's ass by proxy." - It's Mike on Eddymon.



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