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  1. #1
    Baluchitherium
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    12.11.17 @ 09:44 PM
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    Default Just plain wow....

    Woman Utters Line Never Previously Recorded In A Police Report
    11/16 UPDATE: Malodorous suspect gets 90 days in jail.

    Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a motor inn.

    The October 22 incident is detailed in an amusing/gross Jackson County Sheriff’s Department report excerpted here.

    According to investigators, Williams--who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn--showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

    While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

    This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

    When Deputy Mellinger arrived on the scene he observed Williams--who, like the two men, appeared to be intoxicated--nude from the waist down. After pocketing a knife that was on the coffee table in front of Williams, Mellinger arrested her for domestic assault and brandishing a deadly weapon.

    Williams, who was released from jail after posting $3000 bond, is next due in Jackson County Magistrate Court on February 16.

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/...-police-report
    "Alcoholism, is like, the only disease you can get yelled at for having" - Mitch
    Hedberg

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 11:15 AM
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    Donor

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    Yummy.
    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, “Tokyo Dome In Concert,” is available for purchase, and it’s super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk edwardv's Avatar
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    hanover pennsylvania
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    12.11.17 @ 05:27 PM
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    Premium Member

    Default

    Now Dick this one is fat.
    EVH 1979: Well, actually it's not much of a vacation, because we run everything ourselves. We design our own album cover, we have to be in the office every day to sign checks - the whole corporation revolves around us. Nothing can be done without our approval. We even have photo approval.

  4. #4
    Forum Frontman fudd's Avatar
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    Fair warning, 5150
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    Premium Member

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheresOnlyOneWay View Post


    Yummy.
    Well I'd rather eat the inside of a buffaloes ass than that fugly ass woman. Jesus. Last time I saw a face like that it had a hook in it. If I had to hit that on a daily basis I would embrace my dick being stolen in Africa.

  5. #5
    Eruption
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    09.23.13 @ 06:29 PM
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    Default


  6. #6
    Eruption
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    09.23.13 @ 06:29 PM
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    Default

    I can't believe the one guy was going to oblige...what level of drunk do you have to be to even consider it, let alone oblige?

    At least the smell warned him off. There's an old saying; once you've got by the smell, you're got it licked.

    Doesn't apply here. That must have been one putrid smelling pussy...

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! Jesus H Christ's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 08:53 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fuddman5150 View Post
    If I had to hit that on a daily basis I would embrace my dick being stolen in Africa.
    I wouldn't hit that with my truck.
    "The less I needed, the better I felt." ~ Charles Bukowski.

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! VH122's Avatar
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    12.10.17 @ 12:18 PM
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    Default

    My friend Jeff who I grew up with would have hit that and then some.
    The dude was like legendary for banging any chick with a pulse,off the ugly tree or not.(LOL)

  9. #9
    Forum Frontman Double Down's Avatar
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    11.17.17 @ 12:11 PM
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    Default

    That is one nasty ass bitch. I wouldn't eat that rotten pie for anything.
    .
    .
    .
    VH with Dave ('78-'84) - The best years....the "real" VH.
    VH with Sam ('86-'96) - Incredible era....."We have renamed this town 'New Halen!'.
    VH with Gary ('98) - Fucking disaster. WTF was that??
    VH with Wolf/Dave ('12-'15) - Amazing comeback. Smokin' album and tours.

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! Darkstar's Avatar
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    12.04.14 @ 11:23 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TheresOnlyOneWay View Post


    Yummy.
    Jesus Fucking Christ!!!!! Any man in his right mind would step over that looking for a place to jerk off!!!
    Love should NOT be work, it should be as easy as breathing Dave's Dreidel

    My god, our government has less secrets than Van Halen. Emperor Brett

    I'm a Democrat and an Atheist, but I've yet to receive my ticket to Hell. Is this something I call Live Nation about or what? JakeK21

    I feel it takes far more energy to hate than love. Well outside of Obamacare, How Many Say I and Heineken beer. ziggysmalls

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
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    12.06.17 @ 01:26 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TheresOnlyOneWay View Post


    Yummy.
    So that's what Roseanne Barr has been up to...
    Posted from yo' mama's house.


  12. #12
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    Donor

    Default

    To quote the great George Carlin, I wouldn't fuck that with a stolen dick.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

 

 

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