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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk Bad to the Bone's Avatar
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    12.08.17 @ 12:05 PM
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    Default Craziest Work related thing you have witnessed

    So today is my last day at my current job (I start at a new place on Monday so no worries there).

    I worked at a shop for about 10 years, almost 10 years ago (just realized it had been that long). Anyway I have like a million stories about the shop and I was telling some of the guys about it and they are nuts.

    Tell some of your whacky stories from your working career....I'll post some shop stories when I can.

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium
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    12.10.17 @ 11:47 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bad to the Bone View Post
    So today is my last day at my current job (I start at a new place on Monday so no worries there).

    I worked at a shop for about 10 years, almost 10 years ago (just realized it had been that long). Anyway I have like a million stories about the shop and I was telling some of the guys about it and they are nuts.

    Tell some of your whacky stories from your working career....I'll post some shop stories when I can.
    I saw a disgruntled employee walk out to the warehouse, drop trou and shit on the floor and walkout never to be seen again. The ensuing arguement over who was going to clean it up was a thing of lore in that company for 15 years.That must have been the most uncomfortable drive home ever. How do you explain something like that to your wife??



    At another company, we had a handicapped employee that threatened to have the entire place handicapped to suit his needs including his own parking stall. His rhetoric went on for weeks with veiled threats and whatnot. I finally got fed up with it so I went out back with a piece of chalk and drew a picture of a retarded person in a wheelchair in a parking spot with his name under it. He was not amused. The owner of the company had to get in his car and leave to avoid being seen laughing and did not return for a good half hour. I could go on for days with stories like this, I am and have worked with some seriously whacked out people in my 25 years of employment.
    Last edited by Dick Punch; 03.08.13 at 10:34 AM.
    "Alcoholism, is like, the only disease you can get yelled at for having" - Mitch
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  3. #3
    Atomic Punk
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    12.04.17 @ 04:15 PM
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    Default

    Yes - poo in the workplace always makes for an entertaining anecdote!

    Many years ago, I worked in the Benefits Agency, where us employees were situated behind glass screens, for safety reasons. One day, a lady, furious about her lack of welfare money, whipped off her sprog's sh*tty nappy and smeared it all over the glass screen, before being escorted off the premises.

    I left that job when the government, in all their 'wisdom', decided that to make the environment more 'friendly', they would do away with the screens and replace them with, ummm, 'security blankets'. We weren't sure if we were supposed to throw them over any nasty customers or hide under them ourselves...Needless to say, numerous employees took that as their cue to leave the benefits agency and never go back!
    I'm FEMALE...Deal with it!

    "Whatever you do, wherever you go, there you are..." Edward Van Halen 1986

    "You spend the first part of your life trying to make your mark, and the second part just trying to cover up your tracks"... Weesfreewheelin, 2012

    "Life's too short to stuff a mushroom"... Shirley Conran, 1975

    "You turn if you want to...The LADY is NOT for turning!"...Margaret
    Thatcher, 1980


  4. #4
    Atomic Punk Bad to the Bone's Avatar
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    Default

    wow.

    I had a boss at one time and he crossed the wrong guys only to come into a big old turd dead center on his desk one morning. He packed all of his things and was never seen again.

    I thought that was gonna be the grand daddy but you guys already beat me to it.

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk ziggysmalls's Avatar
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    12.10.17 @ 06:47 AM
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    A few things I have seen or done.

    Taped an open can of sardines underneath a person's desk Friday when I left work. When they came in on Monday, it was pretty rank

    Hid a urinal cake underneath a monitor stand on a Friday. Same thing on Monday but the guy couldn't find the smell.

    Captured a toad and placed it in a safe that had Top Secret material which needed to be inventoried at the start of every watch.

    While working a college book store, saw a guy beat off into a book about Emily Dickenson. The guy figured a feminist would buy the book and he hated feminazis.

  6. #6
    5150 LudwigVonDrumCrazy's Avatar
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    08.29.14 @ 12:33 PM
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    I work Cat scan and x ray in a small hospital....

    I'm alone on my shift..no boss...nothing...work is pretty quiet most days...

    I routinely have sex with nurses and gets Bj's in my office.......

    I love my job...11 years now...
    If cleanliness were next to Godliness, then that would make you the devil...(CLUTCH)...

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
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    Man, I would love your job too!

    I know this will shock everyone, but I can't think of anything crazy happening in our CPA firm.

    One of the partners was banging an admin girl in his office (during office hours), so we had to get rid of him, but other than that, nothing.
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

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  8. #8
    Atomic Punk bsbll4's Avatar
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    12.08.17 @ 02:16 PM
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    I work as a recruiter, but I do it remotely, so I never get to see my clients in person. Occasionally that's a drag, but many times I'm thankful. For the most part, the craziest stuff I see is usually related to someone's resume. I can't believe what people think passes for a resume, but we like to pass the "good" ones around the office for everyone to enjoy.

    My personal favorite was a guy whose opening paragraph told a story:

    "I am very interested in applying for your warehouse job in NorthWest
    Houston. 2 years ago when I was living in Florida I had an accident. I
    was teasing an alligator near my apartment and he bit my hand off. I can
    still work with my other hand but I really have a hard time holding big
    boxes because the jerk alligator ate my good hand. I don't like Florida.
    I hate alligators. I miss my hand. Please call me I need a job for money."

    The best part was the guy's email: lefthandlarry@******.com


    Another one:

    "52yr,wht male,no drink,no dope,no smoke,will p.
    fast learner,have trans,will work.
    can follow todays morons.
    willing to work trial period."
    CNN may think my opinion matters, but you shouldn't.

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk bsbll4's Avatar
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    12.08.17 @ 02:16 PM
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    Thought of something else; My family used to own a plumbing company and two of my brothers are still "professional turd chasers" as we like to call them. One story I saw, the other is family legend.

    One of my great uncles (who was always a little off) was a plumber back after WWII and was working at a local convent on a sewer job. He was digging a trench when he hit paydirt and he found the break in the line. About that time a couple of old nuns walked up to see how he was doing. The older nun looked down in the hole and said: "Oh my...is that what I think that is?" referring to flow of brown sludge. My great uncle reached down with a finger, dipped it in the sludge, brought it up, and put it in his mouth. With a satisfied grin he turned and said: "why yes it is." The nuns ran off in disgust.

    I've always hoped he pulled a switcheroo on the fingers, but if the legends are true about him, he probably didn't.


    One I did witness was when I was helping out at the same plumbing company over the summer while in college. My dad's cousin (I think that made him my second cousin) was always a character. We were working on taking an old cast iron stack out of an old house in South St. Louis. To get the stack out, he had to break it in half so we could pull the top down. For those that don't know, the stack is where all the water drains down to the sewer...from you sink, bath tub, and even your toilet. So he's standing there whacking a weak part of the stack with a hammer, when all of the sudden he breaks through, splashing dark black sludge all over his face...including in his mouth. He smacked his lips a couple of times, looked at me, and said in a clam voice: "you know, it's amazing I don't have AIDS."
    CNN may think my opinion matters, but you shouldn't.

  10. #10
    Baluchitherium
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    I lost a $100 bet with a co-worker over the 2004 Lakers loss to the Pisstons in the finals so instead of giving him a hundo, I went to the currency exchange at a local mall and got 5 different currencies equalling $75us dollars and $25 in pennies. I bought 2 pounds of gold glitter and 2 pounds of purple glitter and mixed all of the pennies in with it and covered his cubicle with it. I then preceeded to put pictures of all of the Laker greats in his cubicle. He also was not amused
    "Alcoholism, is like, the only disease you can get yelled at for having" - Mitch
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  11. #11
    Atomic Punk lovemachine97(Version 2)'s Avatar
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    12.09.17 @ 11:21 PM
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    When I worked at a local, mom and pop music store, a customer came in with what looked like a vase or a jar and went into our "acoustic room" (an area enclosed from the rest of the store to help keep the humidity levels correct for our higher-end acoustics). He picked up a guitar and just started jamming and singing his little heart out for a good half an hour or so.

    He eventually stopped, picked up his belongings, and walked out of the room. He walked towards the front door of the store, turned around and said, "Life's a bitch til you lose yours. Just had to sing my lady some songs."

    The thing he had brought in was an urn containing his dead wife.

  12. #12
    Eruption
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    I worked at a sign shop as a graphic artist and one of our sign installers looked like Alfred E. Newman, but with black hair and a mustache. So one day I drew a caricature of him (looking like he was just off of the cover of Mad Magazine), made some posters and placed them around the shop.

    He was also very short and had big ears. One day, I had found these big plastic ears. So I taped them to a yellow hard hat, attached the hard hat to an old pair of running shoes and had a string to pull it. I brought it to the back of the shop where the guys were, saying; "Come on John!" having this creation of mine trailing behind me. That thing stayed in our shop forever. I think it's still there and it's been years since I've worked there.


    The guy who made our sign boxes looked like Dick Van Dyke, so one day, while thumbing through some clip art, there was a cartoon image of Dick Van Dyke. I brought the image into Illustrator, put a beard and glasses on him and he now looked like our guy (Roger.) I then made a 12" x 18" aluminum parking sign with employee of the month on it. My boss laughed his ass off, took the sign and mounted in the parking lot. Nobody would park there and people coming in would offer Roger their congratulations.

    (We never had an employee of the month. That was part of the joke.)

  13. #13
    Forum Frontman fudd's Avatar
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    Oh lets see, I had a threesome with 2 employees(female) on the prep table at Fuddruckers.

    I cut the top part of my finger off just above the knuckle in a patty machine at Fuddruckers.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuddman5150 View Post
    Oh lets see, I had a threesome with 2 employees(female) on the prep table at Fuddruckers.

    I cut the top part of my finger off just above the knuckle in a patty machine at Fuddruckers.
    Liar, admit it, Devil's Threesome.
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

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    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  15. #15
    Forum Frontman fudd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave's Dreidel View Post
    Liar, admit it, Devil's Threesome.
    Shhhhiiiittt, I don't ride that bike brah.

 

 

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