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  1. #1
    Good Enough
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    Default Am I about to abuse my child? You decide!

    I tend not to air too much personal dirty laundry online, but this is an exception.

    At the tail end of summer my wife and I began finding burn holes in our 14-year-old son's clothes. Immediately, I thought it had to be pot. We confronted him and, because he believes I am an idiot, told us he was just playing around with a lighter.

    About a week later, my wife found his stash. Oddly, it wasn't pot; it was green tea. We confronted him again.

    This time he confessed to smoking green tea. Yes, that's a thing now. All you guys starting "I'm Going to be a Dad!" threads might want to pay attention. Because my son believes I'm an idiot, he said he only tried it a couple times.

    I forbid him to do it again. He agreed he wouldn't.

    He did it again. We busted him. This was late October.

    I grounded him for two months. House arrest.

    Early November, I had a face-to-face with him. I asked, "Do you know why you're grounded?" He said obviously because he got busted smoking green tea.

    I said, "No. The reason you're grounded is because I forbid you to smoke and you agreed. Then you broke the agreement."

    I told him that, if at the time I forbid the activity, he would've responded with, "I'll try, but I'm not sure I can stop," or "I might be addicted," or "I'll try, but it's gonna be tough," or any other HONEST answer, then we would've had a different conversation. Then we might've found other solutions together. It would've opened things up to a better path.

    But I'm an idiot, obviously, so he just agreed not to do it again to shut me up.

    Today - not more than a couple hours ago - I found a new stash under his bathroom vanity. This one included several tea bags, two lighters and a homemade bong.

    This is where the abuse question comes in.

    I decided to behave like the idiot my son believes I am. I simply removed the paraphernalia and replaced it with a mousetrap. It's a blind reach under the vanity, so he won't see it next time he reaches for his stuff. (I did wrap the hammer of the trap with a little tissue and duct tape. It won't break his fingers, but it's gonna sting like hell.)

    When it goes off, I'll just tell him, in my best idiot voice, that obviously I believed we had tea-stealing mice in the house. That has to be it, because he told me he wouldn't do this anymore, so it must be mice.

    Child abuse? What do you think?

    I just wish I had a hidden video camera in the bathroom to see his reaction.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    I wanna wait and see what happens with the mouse-trap.
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  3. #3
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
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    I think it's a great idea. Very creative.
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


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  4. #4
    Baluchitherium steve mcqueen's Avatar
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    12.09.17 @ 07:54 PM
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    Green tea?

    I found my 15 year olds' stash as well.....but it wasn't green tea

    He too was placed under "house arrest" and had all his electronics (iPod/laptop/PS3) banned....of course this came with the big speech about the traps of being a habitual pot smoker and that I am here for him if he feels he has a problem.....pretty much the same speech my Dad gave to me.....that was 4 months ago and as of so far, I have found little evidence that he is still hitting the bong.....I believe however that he is just being a little smarter about it and not leaving his pot laying around in his backpack....

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium
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    12.08.17 @ 04:17 AM
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    I would say no, but some would probably say yes. He is lying to you and says he won't do it again and goes behind your back and does the same damn thing. Maybe getting his fingers caught in a mouse trap will change his mind.

    At least you didn't use a rat trap...
    Rock the Red!!!

    "Give Doc the shotgun. They're less apt to get nervy if he's on the street howitzer."

    "Dying ain't much of a living, boy."

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  6. #6
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
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    12.09.17 @ 08:36 PM
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    Default

    or a bear trap

    I understand the frustration of having a defiant child, but I don't think this is the answer...he might just think that if he gets this for green tea, he might as well move on to synthetic pot...or authentic pot


    that said, I never found the answer to a defiant child either...but you have to try to build trust

    but WTF with the green tea? what's he getting out of it that makes it worth defying you and suffering the consequences

    survivor of the Bowling Green Massacre 9-3-2016 BGSU 10 OSU 77

    She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.

  7. #7
    Unchained Mister T.'s Avatar
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    10.23.17 @ 12:38 PM
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    Default

    No - I do not think it's abuse.

    Abuse is forcing him to smoke it all until he's so sick and nearly OD's in attempts to make it so repulsive that he has absolutely no desire to do it again.

    And if smoking it all doesn't get him there, have some extra on hand to make sure he does get there.

    But even that's debatable.

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk
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    12.04.17 @ 04:15 PM
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    Default

    Green tea???

    The same stuff that comes in tea-bags???

    The same stuff you can buy in health shops and supermarkets???

    I'm intrigued...Although having resorted to shredded up cheese-plant leaves when the tobacco ran out one drunken evening, I can sort of see how it might happen...

    But, in answer to your question, no, I personally don't think it's abuse - although I'm not convinced it'll put him off smoking in the slightest...Given a bit of time to get over the physical 'sting' that the mouse-trap caused he'll probably find it quite amusing and evidence of his Dad being quite cool and funny. And he'll just make a more concerted effort to hide the offending tea-bags in future.

    Oh - and one further thought - they do say that things are often best hidden in plain sight - so you might want to keep a close eye on your kitchen tea-caddy.
    I'm FEMALE...Deal with it!

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  9. #9
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    I am REALLY looking forward to the follow up on this one! Brilliant!
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

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  10. #10
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    I'm gonna snort some Folger's crystals later on.
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  11. #11
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    Default

    The game continues!

    I had to run a few errands after the boys were home from school, so I left them alone for an hour or so. When I returned, I loaded them in the car and dropped them off at karate class. Came back home and checked the trap.

    It's still set, but I swear to God it's in a different place.

    So I snoop in the kid's room, and on his bed is his Ipad. I click it on, and the first thing I see is a paused Youtube video. The title of the video: "How to set a mousetrap."

    Ha!

    My guess is he snapped the trap, but doesn't want me to know he went for his stash, so he re-set the trap (after learning the oh-so-complicated task of setting one).

    My next move? I placed his Ipad under the vanity. Right next to the mouse trap.

  12. #12
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dibblekins View Post
    Green tea???

    The same stuff that comes in tea-bags???

    The same stuff you can buy in health shops and supermarkets???

    I'm intrigued...Although having resorted to shredded up cheese-plant leaves when the tobacco ran out one drunken evening, I can sort of see how it might happen...

    But, in answer to your question, no, I personally don't think it's abuse - although I'm not convinced it'll put him off smoking in the slightest...Given a bit of time to get over the physical 'sting' that the mouse-trap caused he'll probably find it quite amusing and evidence of his Dad being quite cool and funny. And he'll just make a more concerted effort to hide the offending tea-bags in future.

    Oh - and one further thought - they do say that things are often best hidden in plain sight - so you might want to keep a close eye on your kitchen tea-caddy.
    I was as bewildered by it as you. But plug in "Smoking green tea" in Google. It's a thing.

    The mouse trap thing is in no way an effort to get him to stop doing this. I know better than that. This is a message to him that I'm not nearly as stupid as he believes.

    As for the tea - it's now locked up with the liquor bottles. Who woulda thunk?

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToddE View Post
    The game continues!

    I had to run a few errands after the boys were home from school, so I left them alone for an hour or so. When I returned, I loaded them in the car and dropped them off at karate class. Came back home and checked the trap.

    It's still set, but I swear to God it's in a different place.

    So I snoop in the kid's room, and on his bed is his Ipad. I click it on, and the first thing I see is a paused Youtube video. The title of the video: "How to set a mousetrap."

    Ha!

    My guess is he snapped the trap, but doesn't want me to know he went for his stash, so he re-set the trap (after learning the oh-so-complicated task of setting one).

    My next move? I placed his Ipad under the vanity. Right next to the mouse trap.
    This is becoming a movie.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  14. #14
    Atomic Punk
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ToddE View Post
    The game continues!

    I had to run a few errands after the boys were home from school, so I left them alone for an hour or so. When I returned, I loaded them in the car and dropped them off at karate class. Came back home and checked the trap.

    It's still set, but I swear to God it's in a different place.

    So I snoop in the kid's room, and on his bed is his Ipad. I click it on, and the first thing I see is a paused Youtube video. The title of the video: "How to set a mousetrap."

    Ha!

    My guess is he snapped the trap, but doesn't want me to know he went for his stash, so he re-set the trap (after learning the oh-so-complicated task of setting one).

    My next move? I placed his Ipad under the vanity. Right next to the mouse trap.
    It's like a game of cat and......mouse, isn't it! (Sorry, couldn't help it!)
    I'm FEMALE...Deal with it!

    "Whatever you do, wherever you go, there you are..." Edward Van Halen 1986

    "You spend the first part of your life trying to make your mark, and the second part just trying to cover up your tracks"... Weesfreewheelin, 2012

    "Life's too short to stuff a mushroom"... Shirley Conran, 1975

    "You turn if you want to...The LADY is NOT for turning!"...Margaret
    Thatcher, 1980


  15. #15
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
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    Default

    let him catch you smoking the damn green tea

    nothing makes something more uncool to a teenager than finding their parents doing it.

    survivor of the Bowling Green Massacre 9-3-2016 BGSU 10 OSU 77

    She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.

 

 

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