Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    01.29.02
    Age
    49
    Location
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    22,946
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
    Likes
    842
    Liked 1,229 Times in 448 Posts

    Default Wheelchair bound Jehovah’s Witness demands all homes meet ADA standards.

    (WCL) COLUMBUS- Charles Handsy is no ordinary 22 year old college graduate. He’s battled a lifelong, debilitating disease that has kept him bound to a wheelchair. Now he seeks to overcome Satan by ensuring that every home is equipped with ramps so that he can ring your doorbell and offer each and every homeowner the possibilities of “The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures” and the “Watchtower” magazine.

    “It is only fair that I be allowed to spread His word to every home. People with two good legs come to your house to sell magazines and cookies. I want the opportunity to bring something with more substance and less calories.”

    Mr. Handsy has been a Jehovah’s Witness for the past eight years. He started his door to door crusade in the summer of 2002 and has since become discouraged at the lack of accessibility.

    “At first it wasn’t so bad when I had other Brothers and Sister with me that could reach the door. We used walkie talkies to share His word and if the door was really far away from the street, cell phones.”

    And it seems like Mr. Handsy has got the ACLU on his side. In July of 2009, the ACLU released this completely unrelated message concerning free speech in Ohio. Part of this Press Release is as follows:

    “The principles of the First Amendment are indivisible. In a nation of laws, the rights established necessarily apply to all. Extend those rights to one group and they protect all groups; deny them to one group, and all groups suffer. We cannot remain faithful to the First Amendment by turning our backs when it is put to its severest test. “

    When questioned Mr. Handsy about the cost of making every home accessible to wheelchairs he quickly changed subjects and said, “You wouldn’t believe how many homes don’t have ramps going up to them! Surely Satan has designed these homes to keep me away from spreading God’s word.”

    We failed on several attempts to contact the ADA-Ohio, mainly because we did not call nor did we e-mail the non-for-profit group on this completely fictional story.

    Our analysts have determined that the cost of adding ramps to the average American household will be $2,500. Stainless steel and platinum ramps could cost homeowners as much as $145,000.

    Mr. Handsy shrugged off the costs, "Give unto Cesar what is Cesar's, give unto God what is God's” though later he admitted, “I do buy the occasional box of Girl Scout cookies.”
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.24.00
    Age
    45
    Location
    Portland Oregon
    Posts
    26,946
    Favorite VH Album

    Halen 1
    Favorite VH Song

    I'm the one
    Last Online

    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
    Likes
    73
    Liked 257 Times in 92 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    The only positive I can see would be that he could get back down the ramp and off of my property much faster if I had a good ramp.

    ....much faster.
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! Darkstar's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.04.00
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    2,784
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Too Many!
    Last Online

    12.04.14 @ 11:23 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    I don't even want the 2 legged kind knocking on my door, let alone one in a wheelchair.......uh uh, no ramp buddy, sorry.........
    Love should NOT be work, it should be as easy as breathing Dave's Dreidel

    My god, our government has less secrets than Van Halen. Emperor Brett

    I'm a Democrat and an Atheist, but I've yet to receive my ticket to Hell. Is this something I call Live Nation about or what? JakeK21

    I feel it takes far more energy to hate than love. Well outside of Obamacare, How Many Say I and Heineken beer. ziggysmalls

  4. #4
    Eruption
    Join Date
    09.28.05
    Posts
    1,268
    Last Online

    09.23.13 @ 06:29 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by seenbad View Post
    The only positive I can see would be that he could get back down the ramp and off of my property much faster if I had a good ramp.

    ....much faster.
    Lmao! I was thinking the exact same thing! I'd help him out with a much needed push. Would it be bad if I had a running start?

  5. #5
    Eruption
    Join Date
    01.03.12
    Age
    48
    Location
    Does it really matter?
    Posts
    1,379
    Favorite VH Album

    Back to ADKT - Cuz it is new
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    10.30.17 @ 05:08 AM
    Likes
    154
    Liked 35 Times in 25 Posts

    Default

    Sure, go ahead and wheel on up. My dogs will escort you up and down the driveway for sure.......

    ImageUploadedByTapatalk1349918178.002337.jpg
    It is what it is

    I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said

    I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    01.29.02
    Age
    49
    Location
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    22,946
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
    Likes
    842
    Liked 1,229 Times in 448 Posts

    Default

    TBH I think this is a joke article...
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  7. #7
    ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Number 47's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.08.06
    Posts
    29,801
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 04:19 PM
    Likes
    1,874
    Liked 6,826 Times in 3,568 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default my house is rockin' but you can't come knocking

    Sorry Charles, I have an exempt from your bullshit sticker on my front door.


  8. #8
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    11.05.06
    Location
    there's a sleepy town
    Posts
    8,193
    Favorite VH Album

    fair warning/ 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    happy trails/ dreams
    Last Online

    07.09.17 @ 07:00 PM
    Likes
    3
    Liked 1,832 Times in 988 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Several years ago there was a African-American comic talking about when he use to roll with a gang. He said that they owned the streets and weren't afraid of anybody. He went on to say" but let two dudes in white dress shirts and ties riding bikes roll up, you never seen gang members scatter so fast"!Lol. We did the same thing. We saw them coming and we were gone!!!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Utilize. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

    I love coffee and sarcasm.

    RJD \m/


    Sig Pic courtesy of Greenpaw

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk CaboChris's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.23.11
    Age
    45
    Location
    Reno, NV
    Posts
    15,617
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning/5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained/Best of Both Worlds
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 09:29 PM
    Likes
    4,314
    Liked 7,838 Times in 4,574 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Number 47 View Post
    Sorry Charles, I have an exempt from your bullshit sticker on my front door.

    I remember growing up, we had a no soliciting sign right in the middle of the front door and it would ALWAYS be totally ignored. It's as if they didn't know what it meant or they just didn't care. Very rude.

  10. #10
    Forum Frontman Double Down's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.10.05
    Age
    49
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    17,911
    Favorite VH Album

    ('78-'84) VH 1; ('86-'95) 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Dave- I'm The One ; Sam- 5150
    Last Online

    11.17.17 @ 12:11 PM
    Likes
    538
    Liked 1,033 Times in 543 Posts

    Default

    Did you guys read that whole article? It's not real.
    .
    .
    .
    VH with Dave ('78-'84) - The best years....the "real" VH.
    VH with Sam ('86-'96) - Incredible era....."We have renamed this town 'New Halen!'.
    VH with Gary ('98) - Fucking disaster. WTF was that??
    VH with Wolf/Dave ('12-'15) - Amazing comeback. Smokin' album and tours.

  11. #11
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.17.08
    Age
    57
    Location
    Goose Poop, Ohio
    Posts
    13,020
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Panama
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 08:58 PM
    Likes
    1,795
    Liked 2,232 Times in 1,350 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by voivod View Post
    (WCL) COLUMBUS- Charles Handsy is no ordinary 22 year old college graduate. He’s battled a lifelong, debilitating disease that has kept him bound to a wheelchair. Now he seeks to overcome Satan by ensuring that every home is equipped with ramps so that he can ring your doorbell and offer each and every homeowner the possibilities of “The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures” and the “Watchtower” magazine.

    “It is only fair that I be allowed to spread His word to every home. People with two good legs come to your house to sell magazines and cookies. I want the opportunity to bring something with more substance and less calories.”

    Mr. Handsy has been a Jehovah’s Witness for the past eight years. He started his door to door crusade in the summer of 2002 and has since become discouraged at the lack of accessibility.

    “At first it wasn’t so bad when I had other Brothers and Sister with me that could reach the door. We used walkie talkies to share His word and if the door was really far away from the street, cell phones.”

    And it seems like Mr. Handsy has got the ACLU on his side. In July of 2009, the ACLU released this completely unrelated message concerning free speech in Ohio. Part of this Press Release is as follows:

    “The principles of the First Amendment are indivisible. In a nation of laws, the rights established necessarily apply to all. Extend those rights to one group and they protect all groups; deny them to one group, and all groups suffer. We cannot remain faithful to the First Amendment by turning our backs when it is put to its severest test. “

    When questioned Mr. Handsy about the cost of making every home accessible to wheelchairs he quickly changed subjects and said, “You wouldn’t believe how many homes don’t have ramps going up to them! Surely Satan has designed these homes to keep me away from spreading God’s word.”

    We failed on several attempts to contact the ADA-Ohio, mainly because we did not call nor did we e-mail the non-for-profit group on this completely fictional story.

    Our analysts have determined that the cost of adding ramps to the average American household will be $2,500. Stainless steel and platinum ramps could cost homeowners as much as $145,000.

    Mr. Handsy shrugged off the costs, "Give unto Cesar what is Cesar's, give unto God what is God's” though later he admitted, “I do buy the occasional box of Girl Scout cookies.”
    funny, but fake

    survivor of the Bowling Green Massacre 9-3-2016 BGSU 10 OSU 77

    She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Gotta have standards
    By hellohawk in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 132
    Last Post: 01.02.12, 02:17 PM
  2. TSA needlessly harass wheelchair-bound 95 yr old woman
    By Jesus H Christ in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 07.02.11, 07:11 AM
  3. Meet German Talis, Who Couldn’t Even Beat Up a Girl in a Wheelchair
    By voivod in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04.26.08, 07:30 PM
  4. two different wolf standards?
    By lil'devil in forum Guitar Room
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 07.13.02, 07:19 PM
  5. Super Bowl Bound(NFL)
    By No Bozo's in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 12.21.00, 04:33 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •