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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    Default The definition of 'cheating'

    Today a lunch with an old friend who happens to be female (always platonic - we have no history) devolved into a debate on just what constitutes cheating.

    I'm probably the last guy on earth to talk about what makes a relationship and the rules that come with it, but it seems to me that any physical sexual contact with someone else while you're in a relationship counts as cheating....even just hand holding can be pretty damnable if you ask me.

    However, she is of the staunch opinion that even thinking about someone in a sexual way is also cheating. So, by simply walking down the street and passing a woman with a nice rack with a quick, admiring glance....YOU JUST CHEATED!!!!

    I tried to talk all the logic I could into her that just looking at someone is not the same as bumping the fuzz. Nope. Unless your mind is firmly locked onto your significant other, you are guilty as charged. (even porn was admissable evidence in her mental courtroom)


    Every woman I'd ever been was caught at one point or another ogling the Pitts and Clooneys of the world. I'd feel like a total tool telling people that all these women cheated on me just for having what seems to me as a normal sex drive.

    Anyway, as far as I'm concerned.....no touchy, no cheaty. And yeah, if you're sitting on someone else's facebook () I'd say that counts too.
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  2. #2
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LLFHS View Post
    Today a lunch with an old friend who happens to be female (always platonic - we have no history) devolved into a debate on just what constitutes cheating.

    I'm probably the last guy on earth to talk about what makes a relationship and the rules that come with it, but it seems to me that any physical sexual contact with someone else while you're in a relationship counts as cheating....even just hand holding can be pretty damnable if you ask me.

    However, she is of the staunch opinion that even thinking about someone in a sexual way is also cheating. So, by simply walking down the street and passing a woman with a nice rack with a quick, admiring glance....YOU JUST CHEATED!!!!

    I tried to talk all the logic I could into her that just looking at someone is not the same as bumping the fuzz. Nope. Unless your mind is firmly locked onto your significant other, you are guilty as charged. (even porn was admissable evidence in her mental courtroom)


    Every woman I'd ever been was caught at one point or another ogling the Pitts and Clooneys of the world. I'd feel like a total tool telling people that all these women cheated on me just for having what seems to me as a normal sex drive.

    Anyway, as far as I'm concerned.....no touchy, no cheaty. And yeah, if you're sitting on someone else's facebook () I'd say that counts too.
    there's not a man alive who hasn't cheated if that's the definition.

  3. #3
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    I believe Jimmy Carter didn't cheat - he lusted...

  4. #4
    Forum Frontman Double Down's Avatar
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    11.17.17 @ 12:11 PM
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    What man alive could live by those rules?? Looking is cheating???



    Is she prepared to be single the rest of her life??
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  5. #5
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
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    08.27.17 @ 09:39 AM
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    Default

    Interesting thread. When does flirting become cheating? Even if there is no real sexual contact? Trust me linkers, I have been through a ton of shit at the end of my divorce and dating women since...and this question has come up more than once. To me it's ok to text, email, facebook, tweet, hang out as friends... I draw the line with nudey pics, 1500 texts of flirty stuff, emailing where to meet when your significant other will not be around (and they don't know) etc... But, thinking about another person while being with your significant other is not cheating...unless you absolutely are involved with "hooking up" with that other person while screwing who you're supposed to be with. Thinking about celebrities is nothing, it's natural. Thinking about your "friend" that you'd rather fuck, is different. And usually there is some excess flirting and "hiding" what you say to each other. If you say something to a "friend" of the opposite sex and hope to god that your girlfriend or boyfriend etc.. does NOT see it, then you shouldn't do it. Is that cheating too?
    Just go for it!

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Double Down View Post
    What man alive could live by those rules?? Looking is cheating???



    Is she prepared to be single the rest of her life??
    She just wants to get laid. No commitment..honestly...that's what she probably wants. hehe
    Just go for it!

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium Scott's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 07:41 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by It's Mike View Post
    there's not a man alive who hasn't cheated if that's the definition.
    By that definition, I've cheated three times since reading this post; I'm watching Criminal Minds...freaking JJ is awesome. ... damn, 4 times now.

    Someone explained to me that cheating is doing anything w/ a women that you'd feel uncomfortable doing with your mom.

    Other guys say as long as there isn't flesh touching - you're good. Which basically means as long as you're wearing a condom, you're fine.

    Whatever - not a problem I experience - damn JJ AND Prentice?! 6 times now
    Winners come and go; legends are forever.

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Down View Post
    What man alive could live by those rules?? Looking is cheating???



    Is she prepared to be single the rest of her life??
    After today, I do think she's a little nuts. However I've heard her argument before.
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  9. #9
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LLFHS View Post
    After today, I do think she's a little nuts. However I've heard her argument before.
    no woman can live by that rule either. Hell my wife cheats on me 15 times every time she watches Bon Jovi live if that's the rule.

    The girl is a nutter it would appear.

  10. #10
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:44 PM
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    seeing someone attractive and recognizing it is cheating? whacko

    I would say the line between casual flirting and cheating is intention


    are you just flirting because that is how you are? not cheating

    are you flirting because you want to test the waters and see where it could go, or you want to make someone jealous or just tease someone.....to me that is cheating....there is an intent there

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    She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.

  11. #11
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BREW CREW View Post
    Interesting thread. When does flirting become cheating? Even if there is no real sexual contact? Trust me linkers, I have been through a ton of shit at the end of my divorce and dating women since...and this question has come up more than once. To me it's ok to text, email, facebook, tweet, hang out as friends... I draw the line with nudey pics, 1500 texts of flirty stuff, emailing where to meet when your significant other will not be around (and they don't know) etc... But, thinking about another person while being with your significant other is not cheating...unless you absolutely are involved with "hooking up" with that other person while screwing who you're supposed to be with. Thinking about celebrities is nothing, it's natural. Thinking about your "friend" that you'd rather fuck, is different. And usually there is some excess flirting and "hiding" what you say to each other. If you say something to a "friend" of the opposite sex and hope to god that your girlfriend or boyfriend etc.. does NOT see it, then you shouldn't do it. Is that cheating too?
    simple rule i use is that anything you can't explain is heading into the wrong direction. If you feel the need to hide your email logins, or facebook contacts then you're in trouble. My wife has posted on my facebook page before by accident and i have hers just because we rarely log out - nothing to really hide. She can look at my gmail account any time she wants and all she'll see is that her idiot husband spends far too much time negotiating trades in his fantasy baseball league.

    I don't believe in being friends with women unless they are relatives or the wives of friends or something like that. At some point it's gonna become an issue. As Chris Rock so beautifully said "men don't have platonic friends, we have women we haven't fucked yet". While it might not be true 100% of the time, the percentage is high enough that any such situation will cause problems.

    Last edited by It's Mike; 10.16.11 at 04:27 PM.

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    no woman can live by that rule either. Hell my wife cheats on me 15 times every time she watches Bon Jovi live if that's the rule.

    The girl is a nutter it would appear.
    It was a pretty crazy-ass exchange. But as I mentioned earier, I've heard this argument before. I tend to think that people who think this way were proably recently burned or maybe they uncovered messages be they voicemails or IMs saved on the computer.

    Now, if it seems more than evident you are trying to set something up or manipulate a situation that might make it possible to cheat with someone - I'll give you that. Laying the ground work to cheat is about as bad. I try to gauge it this way: If you do something that you know would hurt your partner if they knew about it, or it's something that would hurt you if you found out about it, you're pretty much cheating or heading down that road.


    Quote Originally Posted by Daisy Hill View Post
    are you flirting because you want to test the waters and see where it could go, or you want to make someone jealous or just tease someone.....to me that is cheating....there is an intent there
    Agreed. See above.
    Last edited by LLFHS; 10.16.11 at 04:31 PM.
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  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing! Darkstar's Avatar
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    It's funny how there is such a wide variety of answers when it comes to the question of what constitutes cheating.....you have LL's looney friend's point of view and then you have the opposite end of the spectrum like my former brother-in-law's view that a blow job isn't cheating because there's no penetration...........it was never a mystery to me why the guy has been married and divorced 4 times......
    Love should NOT be work, it should be as easy as breathing Dave's Dreidel

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  14. #14
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darkstar View Post
    It's funny how there is such a wide variety of answers when it comes to the question of what constitutes cheating.....you have LL's looney friend's point of view and then you have the opposite end of the spectrum like my former brother-in-law's view that a blow job isn't cheating because there's no penetration...........it was never a mystery to me why the guy has been married and divorced 4 times......
    Ask him sometime how he'd feel if some random dude came to his woman to eat at the Y.
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  15. #15
    Sinner's Swing! Darkstar's Avatar
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    Nah......the guy's an idiot....haven't spoken to him in years......
    Love should NOT be work, it should be as easy as breathing Dave's Dreidel

    My god, our government has less secrets than Van Halen. Emperor Brett

    I'm a Democrat and an Atheist, but I've yet to receive my ticket to Hell. Is this something I call Live Nation about or what? JakeK21

    I feel it takes far more energy to hate than love. Well outside of Obamacare, How Many Say I and Heineken beer. ziggysmalls

 

 

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