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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    Permissive parents: Curb your brats

    Grand Rapids, Michigan (CNN) -- If you're the kind of parent who allows your 5-year-old to run rampant in public places like restaurants, I have what could be some rather disturbing news for you.

    I do not love your child.

    The rest of the country does not love your child either.

    And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner.

    Or our plane ride.

    Or trip to the grocery store.

    Or the other adult-oriented establishments you've unilaterally decided will serve as an extension of your toddler's playpen because you lack the fortitude to properly discipline them, in public and at home.

    And we know you don't discipline them at home because you don't possess "the look." If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say "sit down" a thousand times.

    If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say much of anything at all. But this nonverbal cue needs to be introduced early and reinforced diligently with consequences for transgressions, just like potty training. And whenever a kid throws a temper tantrum in the middle of the shopping mall it's just as bad as his soiling his pants to spite his parents, and it stinks just as much.

    I have seen a small child slap her mother in the face with an open hand, only to be met with "Honey, don't hit Mommy." I have seen kids tell their parents "Shut up" and "Leave me alone" at the top of their lungs -- and they are not put in check. I shake my head knowing it's only going to get worse from here.

    If I'm sounding a bit judgmental, I assure you I am not alone in my judgment.

    Remember that couple that was kicked off an AirTran flight for being unable to control their 3-year-old back in 2007? The child threw a tantrum, refused to get in her seat and delayed the flight by 15 minutes. In a subsequent interview with "Good Morning America," the mother talked about how much more understanding the passengers were compared to the crew that removed the family. That may be true -- but I'm also willing to bet plenty of passengers were happy to have a much quieter flight. An AirTran spokesperson estimated 95% of the 9,000 e-mails the airline received were supportive of taking the family off the plane, according to MSNBC.

    Responding to complaints about crying babies keeping people awake, Malaysia Airlines decided to ban infants from first class in some of its flights.

    I don't know about you but I would gladly support an airline or restaurant that didn't make someone else's yelling, screaming, kicking offspring my problem.

    And there are kid-free cruises and resorts for a reason.

    Children are wonderful but they are not the center of the universe. The sooner their parents make them understand that, the better off we all will be.

    This is the part of child-rearing people don't like to discuss, because socially, it's not OK to dislike kids. The ugly truth is it's the spineless parents who parade their undisciplined children around like royalty that make people dislike kids.

    Parents who expect complete strangers to just deal with it are not doing anyone, including their children, any favors. They are actually making things worse. Not only are their children allowed to interrupt social events and settings when they are young, but they often grow into disruptive forces in the classrooms later. And nobody likes them for that.

    I covered education for years and one of the biggest complaints from teachers was about the amount of time they spent disciplining students. Their threats were empty because parents sided with their kids. And, of course, the use of corporal punishment in the classroom is seriously frowned upon, and even punished.

    Spanking is not a cure, and should not be the first resort, but I don't think it should automatically be taken off the table when dealing with small kids. We're so preoccupied with protecting children from disappointment and discomfort that we're inadvertently excusing them from growing up.

    A young child slapping his or her parent's hand away in defiance is not cute, it's disrespectful. In my house, growing up, that would have earned much more than "the look" from my mother.

    If I sound a bit old-school, I am. If I'm coming across as a bit of an ogre, so be it.

    As a parent, I can empathize with how difficult raising children can be. There are challenges, especially within the framework of divorce, when parental guilt can sometimes blur what should be the best decision.

    But I don't believe making a child's wishes top priority is a demonstration of love. Nor do I believe I, or the rest of the world, should act as a surrogate parents for somebody's bad-ass kids.

    You wanted them, deal with them.

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/07/0...html?hpt=hp_c2
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
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    What an excellent article and I agree with it 100%. The first part made me think of my dad telling the parents in a restaurant that was letting their kid run around to "Please control that unruly child". Of course, they got all indignant but there were comments from other tables which told the parents that they did not appreciate their little darling ruining their dinner either. It also made me think about how my mother's "look" put the fear of God into me. She would do it and then just let you stew on how bad you had screwed up until you got home. It is definitely an art form, LOL.
    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

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  3. #3
    Future's in the past....
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    11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM
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    While I agree with some of these, others I am not in agreement with at all. Some, I am just like, You've got to be fucking kidding me!
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  4. #4
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanHalenRules View Post
    While I agree with some of these, others I am not in agreement with at all. Some, I am just like, You've got to be fucking kidding me!
    What do you disagree with?
    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

    Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

  5. #5
    Future's in the past....
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    Quote Originally Posted by loveevhsince79 View Post
    What do you disagree with?
    The part that really got me was the air travel. What are parents to do with very young children (think infants) that may not travel well and cry during most of the flight? I agree that it may be annoying, but what are the parents to do...some infants just are "fussy".

    As for the rest of it, some of it is just too vague...I can remember doing the "Mom, can I have this" deal when I was little at the grocery store, and maybe it irritated other shoppers, but it was/is just something kids do.
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  6. #6
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Yup. Caught this one this morning. I like Granderson's articles.
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  7. #7
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanHalenRules View Post
    The part that really got me was the air travel. What are parents to do with very young children (think infants) that may not travel well and cry during most of the flight? I agree that it may be annoying, but what are the parents to do...some infants just are "fussy".

    As for the rest of it, some of it is just too vague...I can remember doing the "Mom, can I have this" deal when I was little at the grocery store, and maybe it irritated other shoppers, but it was/is just something kids do.
    Granted, there's no easy way around the two circumstances you mentioned. But in the end, YOU....well not you per se, VHR....YOU decided to have kids. I didn't hold a gun to your head. Why do I have to put up with your snotty little spawn?

    Yes, as a result of having kids, travel and dining and just general going out is going to be a hassle for the parent, but isn't being a parent the hardest job one could have? It's up to the parent to plan better when it come to getting around with kids in tow.....not us. If a plane is out of the question.....back up that car-seat and hit the interstate.
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  8. #8
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    They are offering an option not banning babies altogether so I have no problem with that the same as I have no problem with an adult resort, etc. " Malaysia Airlines decided to ban infants from first class in some of its flights." Some people don't care for crying babies and there must be a market for it or they wouldn't offer it.

    I think the article is referring to children who would throw a tantrum over not getting what they want. Yes, children will ask for things but it's the ones who scream and cry and the parents say nothing that are the problem.
    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

    Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by loveevhsince79 View Post
    I think the article is referring to children who would throw a tantrum over not getting what they want. Yes, children will ask for things but it's the ones who scream and cry and the parents say nothing that are the problem.
    Having gotten out of relationship that suffered from this (and the kid was seven-FUCKING-teen) I couldn't agree more.
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  10. #10
    Eruption
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    Quote Originally Posted by LLFHS View Post
    Granted, there's no easy way around the two circumstances you mentioned. But in the end, YOU....well not you per se, VHR....YOU decided to have kids. I didn't hold a gun to your head. Why do I have to put up with your snotty little spawn?

    Yes, as a result of having kids, travel and dining and just general going out is going to be a hassle for the parent, but isn't being a parent the hardest job one could have? It's up to the parent to plan better when it come to getting around with kids in tow.....not us. If a plane is out of the question.....back up that car-seat and hit the interstate.
    Because WE as a society need to find tolerance in our lives. Name me ONE PERSON that has made the rest of the world conform to their ideas and is never annoyed by anything. As a society of human beings this is just part of life. You want someone to wipe your ass when you're too indigent to do so at the ripe old age of 90 and your 401k bottomed out? It's not going to be someone OLDER than you...I guarantee it.
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  11. #11
    Sinner's Swing!
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    Quote Originally Posted by LLFHS View Post
    Having gotten out of relationship that suffered from this (and the kid was seven-FUCKING-teen) I couldn't agree more.
    God! sympathise with you. I have a niece like that. She started out a spoiled little brat learning her values from her gold digging lazy ass mother, and now she's seventeen. Hasn't changed for the better.

  12. #12
    Good Enough wombattt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanHalenRules View Post
    The part that really got me was the air travel. What are parents to do with very young children (think infants) that may not travel well and cry during most of the flight? I agree that it may be annoying, but what are the parents to do...some infants just are "fussy".

    I was this parent twice. I was flying from New York to London with a 2 month old (USAF), and my son didn't enjoy the flight. I could've done with out the looks and snide comments.
    Second time was with a 6 month old flying back to the States with my son (now 5), and daughter (2)...and a very sick wife.

    Just a little compassion would've been nice.
    "Always hopeful, yet discontent,
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  13. #13
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    likely written by someone who doesn't have kids or who thinks their kids are perfect.
    Last edited by It's Mike; 07.05.11 at 12:13 PM.

  14. #14
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    11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by LLFHS View Post
    Granted, there's no easy way around the two circumstances you mentioned. But in the end, YOU....well not you per se, VHR....YOU decided to have kids. I didn't hold a gun to your head. Why do I have to put up with your snotty little spawn?

    Yes, as a result of having kids, travel and dining and just general going out is going to be a hassle for the parent, but isn't being a parent the hardest job one could have? It's up to the parent to plan better when it come to getting around with kids in tow.....not us. If a plane is out of the question.....back up that car-seat and hit the interstate.
    Honestly, I think its a double edged thing. Have some parents (possibly even most parents) gotten very lax in how they let their children behave? Without a doubt. There are children that have been sent packing from my own house because of this very issue. At the same time, society in general has also gotten a "me first" and a general "if it annoys me, I shouldn't have to deal with it" attitude that is far more agressive than it has been in the past. If we had more parents that raised their children correctly and people in general were as tolerant as most used to be, I don't think there would be an issue these days.
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  15. #15
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanHalenRules View Post
    Honestly, I think its a double edged thing. Have some parents (possibly even most parents) gotten very lax in how they let their children behave? Without a doubt. There are children that have been sent packing from my own house because of this very issue. At the same time, society in general has also gotten a "me first" and a general "if it annoys me, I shouldn't have to deal with it" attitude that is far more agressive than it has been in the past. If we had more parents that raised their children correctly and people in general were as tolerant as most used to be, I don't think there would be an issue these days.
    yup

 

 

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