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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
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    12.18.17 @ 12:11 PM
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    Default A little bass player joke

    I am actually heading into the studio this summer to cut a few tracks, and our producer to be told me this joke, and I thought it was funny and would share, many of you have probably heard it, but here it goes:

    A father loves playing the guitar, and thought it would be cool for his son to learn bass so they could rock out together.

    So he buys his son a bass and signs him up for lessons, when the little boy returns from his first lesson, the father asks what did he learn.

    "I learned how to hold the bass, tune it, and I learned all the notes on the E string."

    "That's great!" said the dad.

    He sends his son off for his second lesson and when the son returns, asks the same question.

    "Today I learned alternate plucking with two fingers, and I learned all the notes on the A string."

    "That's great!" said the dad, "what are you going to learn next week?"

    "I am not going next week Dad", said the son, "I quit the lessons".

    "Why?" asked the father disappointed.

    "Well, I have my first gig next week!"
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

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  2. #2
    Unchained HailNgirl's Avatar
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    Default

    Funniest Joke Ever... What's a Bass?
    Yes

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HailNgirl View Post
    Funniest Joke Ever... What's a Bass?
    It's the big fish that Michael Anthony plays!

    "The shit I read on this site." -- Dave's Dreidel (Nov 6th, 2013)

    "Don't ever confuse talent with fame." -- Bob Lefsetz

    "There's very little greatness in this world, but in the crucible of quality there's a special corner reserved for Van Halen." -- Bob Lefsetz

  4. #4
    Good Enough
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    Q: What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza?















    A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
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    12.18.17 @ 12:11 PM
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    Default

    Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the guitarist?




    A: The guitarist turned one of his tuning pegs and wouldn't tell him which one!
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
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    Default

    In all fairness:

    Q: How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?



    A: Put sheet music in front of him.



    Q: What do you call the guy who hangs out with the musicians in the band?


    A: The drummer.
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  7. #7
    Good Enough
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    Q: What do you do if you see a drummer running around your backyard covered in blood?














    A: You try to keep from laughing and shoot him again!

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
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    Default

    Poor drummers, they get the most of it. I think it might have been Brett on here (maybe not, I apologize if not, but it was a guitarist on here) who said of drummers "sit down, keep the beat, play some cool fills and shut the fuck up."
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  9. #9
    Emperor of VHLinks.com Brett's Avatar
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    12.18.17 @ 12:37 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave's Dreidel View Post
    Poor drummers, they get the most of it. I think it might have been Brett on here (maybe not, I apologize if not, but it was a guitarist on here) who said of drummers "sit down, keep the beat, play some cool fills and shut the fuck up."
    Sounds like something I would say.
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  10. #10
    Romeo Delight Chrisvanguitar5150's Avatar
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    Default

    Q: why are drummers not very good at math?

    A: they only count to 4

    Q: ever heard of a drummer graduating?

    A: me neither
    "what's a great song? Lot's of people think songs without singing is not a song. Tell that to Beethoven and he'll kick your ass"

    "I think Chris might explode if you got the Wolfgang, he would literally explode. We are talking about a man with EVH shoes" - P.T, episode 203 Six String Bliss


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