Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Prostitutes!

  1. #1
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,669
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 09:42 AM
    Likes
    1,045
    Liked 1,345 Times in 922 Posts

    Default Prostitutes!

    So my friend and I go to Old Town in Kissimmee, where the classic cars parade every Saturday night. We've been walking around, looking at the cars, drinking, etc. It's still a few hours before the parade and I spot an empty table for us to sit at for a bit. Before he even sits down, these girls beckon us over - can't remember if the guy was there with them or if he shwoed up right when we got there. So he goes over (he's single), and not to be antisocial, I go over. So the guy who was with them started talking about how the one girl was his sister and the other one - eh, I forget how she was supposed to be related, but she didn't share an ancestral resemblance. As he and my friend talked, his comments started getting raunchier. They also noted that I wasn't saying much (which is par for the course for me). I said I don't say much because I only say what's on my mind - but I think that went over his head. Anyway, it became obvious what the situation was and they were talking about they had a room over at the motel and we could get this or that or we could watch them do each other, etc. We weren't having nothing to do with it. They were asking me what my objections were (almost like a car salesman would - "what would it take for me to put you in this vagina today?"), besides being married (as if that's not enough). Fact is, even if I was single, the one had absolutely no appeal to me - her skin was dark and she treated it like it was a New York City subway car and she was Futura 2000, plus she had metal jabbed through her chin. No thanks. The other one looked okay, although she could use some proactiv and she allegedly had some scrawling on her body as well. But I wish I had been able to come back with something like "well, for one thing, they kind of frown on us vice cops engaging in such transactions", though I don't know if anyone would buy me as a vice cop or any other kind of cop for that matter. Fortunately, eventually, they went away.

    So, how was your night?

  2. #2
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.26.06
    Age
    43
    Location
    Vaughan, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    34,080
    Favorite VH Album

    like them all, no favourite
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 09:29 AM
    Likes
    1,314
    Liked 6,670 Times in 3,696 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by billy007 View Post
    So my friend and I go to Old Town in Kissimmee, where the classic cars parade every Saturday night. We've been walking around, looking at the cars, drinking, etc. It's still a few hours before the parade and I spot an empty table for us to sit at for a bit. Before he even sits down, these girls beckon us over - can't remember if the guy was there with them or if he shwoed up right when we got there. So he goes over (he's single), and not to be antisocial, I go over. So the guy who was with them started talking about how the one girl was his sister and the other one - eh, I forget how she was supposed to be related, but she didn't share an ancestral resemblance. As he and my friend talked, his comments started getting raunchier. They also noted that I wasn't saying much (which is par for the course for me). I said I don't say much because I only say what's on my mind - but I think that went over his head. Anyway, it became obvious what the situation was and they were talking about they had a room over at the motel and we could get this or that or we could watch them do each other, etc. We weren't having nothing to do with it. They were asking me what my objections were (almost like a car salesman would - "what would it take for me to put you in this vagina today?"), besides being married (as if that's not enough). Fact is, even if I was single, the one had absolutely no appeal to me - her skin was dark and she treated it like it was a New York City subway car and she was Futura 2000, plus she had metal jabbed through her chin. No thanks. The other one looked okay, although she could use some proactiv and she allegedly had some scrawling on her body as well. But I wish I had been able to come back with something like "well, for one thing, they kind of frown on us vice cops engaging in such transactions", though I don't know if anyone would buy me as a vice cop or any other kind of cop for that matter. Fortunately, eventually, they went away.

    So, how was your night?


  3. #3
    Good Enough SassyLassy's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.17.05
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,648
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    In a Simple Rhyme
    Last Online

    04.27.16 @ 06:28 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by billy007 View Post
    "what would it take for me to put you in this vagina today?"
    That is one of THE funniest things I've ever heard in my life!
    ***OFFCIAL TLW 8 VIRGIN/SURVIVOR!***

    "Mean ass calendar!"-TST

    "GYPSY DILDO PUNKS!"-Harry Dean Stanton

    I'm Polish but I don't speak any of the language or know anything about it's culture other than getting mowed down by Hitler...-fast98dodge

    My head is freshly shaven and I have cleaned the house before my departure-Viking preparing for TLW

  4. #4
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    10.12.09
    Posts
    1,872
    Last Online

    05.15.16 @ 10:48 PM
    Likes
    5
    Liked 164 Times in 76 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by billy007 View Post
    - "What would it take for me to put you in this vagina today?"
    Yes, this made me laugh out loud.

    Funny story, Billy.

  5. #5
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.13.99
    Age
    49
    Location
    Enumclaw, WA
    Posts
    18,055
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 12:17 AM
    Likes
    91
    Liked 84 Times in 35 Posts

    Default

    Great story Billy.
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  6. #6
    Summer Nights in Cabo SNIC's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.21.04
    Age
    48
    Location
    San Antonio, Texas
    Posts
    4,850
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Summer Nights, Cabo Wabo
    Last Online

    10.19.17 @ 06:44 PM
    Likes
    89
    Liked 55 Times in 21 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    Well folks, so much for Billy doing his part to spur the economy.

    That is truly a classic story.

    Artists I Have Seen: 1D, 38 Special, Aerosmith, Alabama, Bad Company, Bad English, Billy Squire, Bob Seger, Bon Jovi, Boston, BTO, Cheap Trick, Chicago, Chickenfoot, Cinderella, Daughtry, Dave Matthews Band, Default, Def Leppard, Dio, Dokken, Drowning Pool, Eagles, Earth Wind & Fire, Eddie Money, Eric Clapton, Farenheit, Fleetwood Mac, Foreigner, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Glass Tiger, Heart, Huey Lewis and the News, Jackson Browne, Jimmy Buffett, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Joe Bonamassa, John Mellencamp, Journey, Keel, Kingdom Come, Kings X, KISS, Kool and the Gang, Krokus, Lionel Richie, Little River Band, Lou Gramm, Loverboy, Los Lonely Boys, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Metallica, Michael Bolton, Nickelback, Night Ranger, Paul Stanley, Peter Frampton, Pink Floyd, Poison, Red Rider, REO Speedwagon, Santana, Sammy Hagar, Shinedown, Steely Dan, Steve Miller Band, Styx, Ted Nugent, Tesla, The 1975, The Black Crowes, The Roots, The Wallflowers, U2, Van Halen, Whitesnake, Zac Brown Band, ZZ Top

  7. #7
    Forum Frontman Double Down's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.10.05
    Age
    49
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    17,911
    Favorite VH Album

    ('78-'84) VH 1; ('86-'95) 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Dave- I'm The One ; Sam- 5150
    Last Online

    11.17.17 @ 12:11 PM
    Likes
    538
    Liked 1,033 Times in 543 Posts

    Default

    I'm disappointed in ya, Billy. Was hoping for a crazier ending than that.
    Last edited by Double Down; 09.12.10 at 07:13 PM.
    .
    .
    .
    VH with Dave ('78-'84) - The best years....the "real" VH.
    VH with Sam ('86-'96) - Incredible era....."We have renamed this town 'New Halen!'.
    VH with Gary ('98) - Fucking disaster. WTF was that??
    VH with Wolf/Dave ('12-'15) - Amazing comeback. Smokin' album and tours.

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.04
    Location
    Secret Witness Protection Location
    Posts
    31,731
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Mike played on
    Favorite VH Song

    Anything Mike played on
    Last Online

    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
    Likes
    34
    Liked 60 Times in 35 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by billy007 View Post
    So my friend and I go to Old Town in Kissimmee, where the classic cars parade every Saturday night. We've been walking around, looking at the cars, drinking, etc. It's still a few hours before the parade and I spot an empty table for us to sit at for a bit. Before he even sits down, these girls beckon us over - can't remember if the guy was there with them or if he shwoed up right when we got there. So he goes over (he's single), and not to be antisocial, I go over. So the guy who was with them started talking about how the one girl was his sister and the other one - eh, I forget how she was supposed to be related, but she didn't share an ancestral resemblance. As he and my friend talked, his comments started getting raunchier. They also noted that I wasn't saying much (which is par for the course for me). I said I don't say much because I only say what's on my mind - but I think that went over his head. Anyway, it became obvious what the situation was and they were talking about they had a room over at the motel and we could get this or that or we could watch them do each other, etc. We weren't having nothing to do with it. They were asking me what my objections were (almost like a car salesman would - "what would it take for me to put you in this vagina today?"), besides being married (as if that's not enough). Fact is, even if I was single, the one had absolutely no appeal to me - her skin was dark and she treated it like it was a New York City subway car and she was Futura 2000, plus she had metal jabbed through her chin. No thanks. The other one looked okay, although she could use some proactiv and she allegedly had some scrawling on her body as well. But I wish I had been able to come back with something like "well, for one thing, they kind of frown on us vice cops engaging in such transactions", though I don't know if anyone would buy me as a vice cop or any other kind of cop for that matter. Fortunately, eventually, they went away.

    So, how was your night?
    Well, this just tells me I have to work harder on the pitch and get her a couple of tetanus shots. I'll see you out there again next Saturday night, fucker.

    And the "scrawling" was Sanskirt, ya uneducated dweeb!
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  9. #9
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,669
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 09:42 AM
    Likes
    1,045
    Liked 1,345 Times in 922 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LLFHS View Post
    Well, this just tells me I have to work harder on the pitch and get her a couple of tetanus shots. I'll see you out there again next Saturday night, fucker.

    And the "scrawling" was Sanskirt, ya uneducated dweeb!
    Come to think of it - have you bleached your hair?

    Nah, I'm pretty sure every picture I've seen of you, you have all of your teeth!

  10. #10
    Future's in the past....
    Join Date
    03.03.08
    Age
    51
    Location
    Somewhere between here and there
    Posts
    13,090
    Favorite VH Album

    WACF, FW, DD
    Favorite VH Song

    At the moment, Little Guitars
    Last Online

    11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default

    I'm not even going to share what passes for a prostitute in this little county...especially since the city I am closest to pretty much only has one street to walk.
    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
    12/10/82 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/20/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/21/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    02/16/08 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

  11. #11
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.04
    Location
    Burlington, On, Canada, Earth
    Posts
    6,142
    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K. 1984
    Favorite VH Song

    Feels So Good (deal with it...
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 10:52 AM
    Likes
    581
    Liked 426 Times in 228 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    Uhm....they prefer to be called "service providers"
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. US Funds $2.6 Million Study to Get Prostitutes in China to Drink Less
    By voivod in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05.14.09, 05:23 PM
  2. Brazilian World Cup star Ronaldo takes three prostitutes to his hotel room...
    By leroy in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04.29.08, 10:25 AM
  3. Retirement Home Prepared for Prostitutes
    By map57 in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03.18.05, 08:16 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •