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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    Default Hummingbirds on the Florida Juice Violence Absolute Thread

    Vicious bastards.

    We have already worked out that VHR's porch is a no-go zone. May god be with him.

    Post your stories of extreme assault here. Pics always help. Self defence advice even better. (weapons, tactics etc)

    Let us, together, rid ourselves of this scourge. They are not pretty. They are evil.
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  2. #2
    Eruption
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    10.05.17 @ 11:44 AM
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    Default

    what?
    Your favorite band sucks.

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium
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    Quote Originally Posted by graeme View Post
    Vicious bastards.

    We have already worked out that VHR's porch is a no-go zone. May god be with him.

    Post your stories of extreme assault here. Pics always help. Self defence advice even better. (weapons, tactics etc)

    Let us, together, rid ourselves of this scourge. They are not pretty. They are evil.
    don't forget Seenbad's deadly encounter with a coyote....bottle rockets seem to be the best waepon!
    http://www.facebook.com/Tommywho5150

    And with that I'm off to the kitchen to make myself a lesbian omelette...LLFHS in response to one of Graeme's post's


    "The anal beads may have scarred SNIC for life. That guy is tough as fucking nails!! No normal guy could take anal beads to the head and survive! "...OLO on SNIC's near death experience at TLW

    "I'm a 45-year-old man, and I still like to wear a thong or a speedo when I go swimming.
    Not because I have a great body, it's just an easy way to make sure I have the hotel swimming pool all to myself."...Bullwinkle for quite obvious reasons!

    "Dude, the cashier gave me the creepiest sneer when he rang up my unmentionables!"...Sassy Lassy during a Facebook conversation!

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk
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    07.24.11 @ 04:36 PM
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    Graeme, I think these may be zombie hummingbirds.

    This would explain several things including their obvious singularity of purpose, ultra-violence and their targeting of VHR's head...they want his brains.

    This being the case, there's no point in doing anything about it. We're all screwed.
    Stay out of it, dude.


    I am Van Halen.

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium Duke's Avatar
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    07.10.17 @ 08:25 AM
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    "It's not a question of where he grips it! it's a simple of weight ratios. A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut."
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

  6. #6
    Future's in the past....
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    11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM
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    First step in your defenses...do not let your wife put a hummingbird feeder anywhere near where you intend to be when you are outside...
    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
    12/10/82 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/20/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/21/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    02/16/08 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium
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    04.02.15 @ 07:26 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanHalenRules View Post
    First step in your defenses...do not let your wife put a hummingbird feeder anywhere near where you intend to be when you are outside...
    do you have a fan on your porch?....relocate the feeder to just below it....revenge!!!
    http://www.facebook.com/Tommywho5150

    And with that I'm off to the kitchen to make myself a lesbian omelette...LLFHS in response to one of Graeme's post's


    "The anal beads may have scarred SNIC for life. That guy is tough as fucking nails!! No normal guy could take anal beads to the head and survive! "...OLO on SNIC's near death experience at TLW

    "I'm a 45-year-old man, and I still like to wear a thong or a speedo when I go swimming.
    Not because I have a great body, it's just an easy way to make sure I have the hotel swimming pool all to myself."...Bullwinkle for quite obvious reasons!

    "Dude, the cashier gave me the creepiest sneer when he rang up my unmentionables!"...Sassy Lassy during a Facebook conversation!

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanHalenRules View Post
    First step in your defenses...do not let your wife put a hummingbird feeder anywhere near where you intend to be when you are outside...
    You see? I knew it. Only those who have experienced the horror can hint at an idea.

    And there you have it. Tie a piece of string to some hummingbird food in a feeder (that you deliberately get a female to put there, cause they are trustworthy and empathic and stuff) and connect the other end to a really powerful shotgun trigger. Before the UK got all pussy, I had an imported pump that was used by the South African police in the 80's. Not politically correct of course, but then again, neither is blowing the shit out of things.

    I digress. Anyway, I think you can all piece together how this works.

    It sounds a bit like this......

    Tweet tweet. Flutter flutter. Nibble Nibble. BOOM.

    Have a snack.
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  9. #9
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by graeme View Post
    Tweet tweet. Flutter flutter. Nibble Nibble. BOOM.

    Have a snack.
    Cut out their tongues. You'll need 30-40 of them for a bite, but it's well worth the time and effort.


    Served with a nice Chianti.... thpt thpt thpt thpt!!

    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  10. #10
    Baluchitherium Duke's Avatar
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    07.10.17 @ 08:25 AM
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    Default

    "We'll all be drinking that free Bubble Up, and eatin' that Hummingbird Stew"

    -Merle Haggard
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

  11. #11
    Good Enough SLEEPER5150's Avatar
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    12.03.10 @ 03:16 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duke View Post
    "It's not a question of where he grips it! it's a simple of weight ratios. A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut."
    "What about an African Swallow?"
    She looks so $#@!'n good ,so sexy and so frail....Somethin's got the bite on me, I'm goin' straight to Hell.

  12. #12
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by seenbad View Post
    Cut out their tongues. You'll need 30-40 of them for a bite, but it's well worth the time and effort.


    Served with a nice Chianti.... thpt thpt thpt thpt!!

    Self defence and cooking tips. This place is the best.

    Maybe that's a good idea for a new prime time show.

    (Primer) Some goofy chef gets non-cooking idiots to prepare lunch in thirty minutes, with ticking clock and crap jokes, and then the finale is a bloody fight, utilising only kitchen implements.

    The show finishes with the winner, hopefully blood-splattered, being interviewed by said smiling goofy chef, with a small square screen in the top right displaying horrific on screen murders, and all bending down, with guest pop tart celeb type, making "mmmmmmmm" noises as they taste the winner's moussaka and special feta salad.

    Who would not watch that?
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  13. #13
    Baluchitherium Duke's Avatar
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    07.10.17 @ 08:25 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by SLEEPER5150 View Post
    "What about an African Swallow?"
    Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point. ...
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

  14. #14
    Future's in the past....
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    11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duke View Post
    Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point. ...
    Get back on track, this thread is about hummingbirds, not about the migratory habits of coconuts...
    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
    12/10/82 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/20/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/21/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    02/16/08 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

  15. #15
    Baluchitherium Duke's Avatar
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    07.10.17 @ 08:25 AM
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    Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

 

 

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