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  1. #1
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 08:56 AM
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    Default Pre-Screening for Genetic Problems

    Hey all,

    I don't want this to turn into an abortion debate (though I fear it might) but was wondering what our little community thinks of an issue that my wife and I are going through right now. As some of you might know, we are expecting twins. A couple of weeks ago, we were told that something came up during the blood tests/ultrasound and were sent to a "genetics specialist". Turns out the kids have an increased chance of having down syndrome. The regular odds for this are about 1 in a 1000. In our case, one of the kids is 1/25 the other is 1/35, if they are identical (we don't know yet) then both will either have it or not have it. There is a test that can be done that will tell us with a 99.9% accuracy rate whether any of them do. Unfortunately with that test comes an increased chance of miscarriage. We've decided against the test, mainly due to the fact that we'd keep the kids no matter what the test showed so it wasn't worth the risk for us. From what we were told, we were in the minority as most would have the test and end the pregnancy if the news was not good.

    Have any of you gone through a similar situation (had to do an amnio or a CVS - I think that's the term)?. And in general what's the opinion of people who haven't gone through this. Would you want to know if something was wrong?

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
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    I was thirty five when I had my first and in the US, they recommend that you get these tests if you will be thirty five or older at the time of birth. For us, it was wanting to know if there was something wrong with the baby then we could be better prepared to deal with it. As far as aborting, for us, it would have only been a matter of whether the baby would have a good chance of survival once it was born if there was something wrong. I could not bear to give birth to a child only to watch it die shortly thereafter.

    If I remember correctly, the chance of miscarriage is because when they do the more thorough test, they stick a needle into your belly to get an actual sample of the baby's cells and if the hole from the needle does not heal over, it could cause the fluid around the baby to drain. I think it is a very small percentage that this could happen but, it's really something that you and your wife will have to weigh and the decision can be really scary. We did it for both kids and everything was fine. I hope everything will turn out well for your family.
    Last edited by loveevhsince79; 07.14.10 at 12:03 PM.
    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

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  3. #3
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 08:56 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by loveevhsince79 View Post
    I was thirty five when I had my first and in the US, they recommend that you get these tests if you will be thirty five or older at the time of birth. For us, it was wanting to know if there was something wrong with the baby then we could be better prepared to deal with it. As far as aborting, for us, it would have only been a matter of whether the baby would have a good chance of survival once it was born if there was something wrong. I could not bear to give birth to a child only to watch it die shortly thereafter.

    If I remember correctly, the chance of miscarriage is because when they do the more thorough test, they stick a needle into your belly to get an actual sample of the baby's cells and if the hole from the needle does not heal over, it could cause the fluid around the baby to drain. I think it is a very small percentage that this could happen but, it's really something that you and your wife will have to weigh and the decision can be really scary. We did it for both kids and everything was fine. I hope everything will turn out well for your family.
    that's right about the test. it's a needle that gets some of the fluid around the baby. They say that the test causes a .5% chance of miscarriage but since we're having twins, you'd have to double that since they'd have to do it twice.

    Agreed on the not wanting to give birth knowing that the child would die soon after. There's another conditiion that does that, but it'll get picked up in the next ultrasound we're told - no need for the amnio just yet. I have no idea how we would react to that situation.

    That meeting with the genetics guy was the scariest thing either of us have gone through. I'm not the most emotional person in the world but found myself crying my eyes out while driving home from work just thinking about what could be wrong. Scary shit.

  4. #4
    Romeo Delight shadow5150's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 12:58 PM
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    My wife and I had a similar scare with our twins and my boy from the doctors. I think all the doctors tell you this. We decided to forgo those test with our twin girls, but performed a CVS with our boy. We felt like you feel, we were having the kids no matter what, but with our past problems, we wanted to know if my boy was going to be alright. The nice thing about the CVS is that you get all the answers to all those questions right away. Yes, there is a chance of miscarriage, but the piece of mind was worth it to us. I now have 3 happy healthy kids that mean the world to me.
    I done most anything, keep 'em doin' anything 'cause
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  5. #5
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 10:48 AM
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    First of all Mike, let me say that I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are having to face some really tough situations and choices. I've not had to deal with that directly myself, but do know others that have. I'm not kidding when I tell you that of the few (4) families that I know of that have had the exact same news provided and had to weigh the same options you're facing now, ALL ended up having perfectly healthy kids without complications. For them, abortion also was not an option. For them, prayer was common, for guidance and clarity and their children are now part of their testimony to/for God.

    So it hurts me to see that you've had times where you've cried your eyes out, and I can't say that I blame you on that a bit and I'd likely do the same, but let me tell you that of the 4 families I know and am familiar with that have had the same tests/odds given, 100 percent were proven to be wrong -on the side of right for them. So hold out tons of hope, and put your faith to work for you. It's time.

    I think of those 4, I believe two of them had the amnio test. Of those two, one actually had the results come back on the side of positive for Down.....the child was born completely normal. Horrible news for the parents and the preparation for that was trying, but imagine their delight to hear that the tests and Dr's were flat out wrong when that little girl came out.

    To me, the percentages are mostly garbage. Listening to the odds, I myself shouldn't even have my son today. My wife supposedly wasn't "supposed" to be able to have children after a cervical cancer scare about 5 years ago where some of her ...you know, plumbing was affected in the process to rid it. My son is 4 years old.

    Have hope my friend. Plan for the bad as you need to, but expect, hope, and have your faith in the best.
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  6. #6
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 08:56 AM
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    thanks for the kind words Seen. Much appreciated. It's certainly been a hard time for us worrying about the unknown. I'm the type who likes to plan out 99% of my life. This falls in that 1% that is out of my control. I hate the 1%.

    We're in very much the same opinion on the "odds". For a couple of days it really kicked the shit out of me thinking about it. But after a while you come to the realization that whatever happens will happen. No need to worry yourself (or more importantly wy wife) sick. No good can come from that.

    We're prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. God has been good to us, we have little reason to complain about our place in life. If the news isn't good, it'll change our lives most definately but not how we feel about our kids. I was talking to a friend about this and he asked if we would abort and we wouldn't but what finally hit me was this thought. If my son (who's two) would develop the same condition that we fear the twins have, would we kill him? Well, of course not. So why would we do the same to my other kids? From what we're told 80% of people that find out bad news abort (that's up here - not sure what the number is stateside) - that really hit me hard.

    Part of me is almost upset that we were even told. I understand why they needed to warn us but for us it's just something to worry about - and having twins is enough of a worry let me tell you. I imagine this is something that has happened to alot of people (40 in a thousand come up "high risk") and was wondering if anyone else has gone through the same "fun" that we're currently experiencing.

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium
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    12.14.17 @ 10:41 PM
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    No, I would not want to know. You have already determined that you will keep and love them no matter what and that is the only thing that matters...
    "Alcoholism, is like, the only disease you can get yelled at for having" - Mitch
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  8. #8
    Eruption Naked Wake's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 12:57 PM
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    I also would just like to say how sorry I am to hear about this. If you know you want the kids anyway, it might not be necessary to do the tests. I don't want to beat a dead horse with some of the same reasons others gave you. It does sound like there are some pro's and con's. But if you want the kids it's not worth the risk (to me) of a potential miscarriage.

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk Little Dreamer's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 11:35 PM
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    After he was born, we were told by doctors that our son may have a tumor and that they might need to operate on him by the time he's 6 months old. But whatever thing they had spotted vanished all by itself and our son actually never had any trouble - only bad part was 6 months of stress for the parents. I think on matters like this, you definitely need to have second opinions and have at least two specialists weigh in, because I've seen doctors completely wrong on issues that are of vital importance for the parents.
    Little Dreamer

 

 

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