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  1. #1
    Unchained 5150jeff's Avatar
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    01.06.11 @ 05:09 PM
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    Default The economy is so bad

    The economy is soooo bad....

    I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

    I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

    CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

    If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

    Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

    McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

    Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

    A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

    Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

    Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

    The Mafia is laying off judges.

    Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

    Congress says they are looking into this Bernie Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

    And, finally…
    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
    __________________

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium
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    Southern California
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    Favorite VH Album

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    Favorite VH Song

    Respect my Wind
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    12.10.17 @ 11:47 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 5150jeff View Post
    The economy is soooo bad....

    I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

    I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

    CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

    If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

    Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

    McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

    Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

    A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

    Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

    Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

    The Mafia is laying off judges.

    Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

    Congress says they are looking into this Bernie Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

    And, finally…
    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
    __________________
    Damn, that last part was harsh!
    "Alcoholism, is like, the only disease you can get yelled at for having" - Mitch
    Hedberg

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    Default

    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  4. #4
    Eruption Naked Wake's Avatar
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    12.09.17 @ 06:49 AM
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    Default

    due to the poor economy the light at the end of the tunnel has officially been turned off

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.07.17 @ 02:51 PM
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    Default

    Great list! Unfortunately, so true too.
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
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    07.24.11 @ 04:36 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 5150jeff View Post



    Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

    holy shit that's funny!
    Stay out of it, dude.


    I am Van Halen.

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    Dusseldorf, Germany.
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    Default

    The economy is so bad ....

    Yesterday I saw a 7/11 store owner hold up a gangbanger.

    The Louvre burnt the Mona Lisa as firewood to boil water.

    Mississippi saw it's first lynching in 50 years. A white banker was found hanging from a tree. BBQ sauce was found on his corpse.

    Statistics state that men are now going for fat girls. Cuts down on heating costs.

    On the same note, PETA members have declared fur coats "practical".

    Spam is now popular again.

    Westerners look at Bangladesh with envy. Bangladeshis are becoming rich elite arrogant wankers.

    Most people are praying for a hurricane. International aid would be welcome.

    The big sell item is the wheelbarrow. How the hell else would you carry all that money to buy a loaf of bread?

    The Oxford English dictionary has redefined the word "employed" as to mean, "one in a million lucky".

    Likewise, the word "waste" has been redefined as "offence liable to cause execution".

    I heard a dog saying that he had seen a pack of rabid, hungry humans running wild in the streets. He was worried about dropping property prices in his ghetto.

    Winning the lottery is now considered the only surefire way of making a living.

    Favellas in Rio De Janeiro are now on postcards, depicting the good old, golden age.

    Soap is considered a foodstuff.

    Seenbad has no alpacas. His freezer is full.

    But, on the upside, all the politicians have been slaughtered and grilled. They were fatty and full of shit, but when you're hungry .....................
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

 

 

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