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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    Default The world just got a little stranger

    Man assaulted officer with penis

    A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

    Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

    Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined £600.

    The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.

    Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

    They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

    “ He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed ”
    John Hardie Defence solicitor
    Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

    Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

    "He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

    "He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."

    His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.

    Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.

    Story from BBC NEWS:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/h...st/8570398.stm

    Published: 2010/03/16 14:41:39 GMT

    © BBC MMX

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  2. #2
    Atomic Punk
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    07.24.11 @ 04:36 PM
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    Default

    HAAHAHAHAHHA...


    Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."




    he tried to dick slap a cop!

    seriously...that's hysterical...
    Stay out of it, dude.


    I am Van Halen.

  3. #3
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 07:40 PM
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    Default

    if only she'd had a taser...

  4. #4
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    That dude has a seriously cool story to tell for the rest of his life.

    "Senior', what did you do when the policia came through your door?"

    "Well, I slapped that cop in the face with my cock of course!"

    Whap!
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium
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    12.11.17 @ 09:44 PM
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    Default

    That was so me when I used to drink. It used to be like my dick became a magic wand when I got hammered and the world needed to be introduced to it's amazing powers. Only to find out shit like I tried to dance with a female officer and and got pretzeled in front of about 100 people. Man I am glad those days are behind me.
    "Alcoholism, is like, the only disease you can get yelled at for having" - Mitch
    Hedberg

  6. #6
    Baluchitherium
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    12.13.17 @ 02:13 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by graeme View Post
    Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."
    Wait a minute.... Is this guy a giant, or was the cop down on her knees?

    Could have been an honest mistake...
    Posted from yo' mama's house.


  7. #7
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
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    10.16.17 @ 11:43 AM
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    So...what did you get arrested for?

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .....cockfighting.
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
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  8. #8
    Hang 'Em High Hurricane Halen's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 10:30 AM
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    Default

    For some reason, this comes to mind, not sure why?!?!?!?!?



    Maybe his weapon was, "Cocked" and loaded.

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  9. #9
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    What a dicksmack.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  10. #10
    Unchained 5150jeff's Avatar
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    01.06.11 @ 05:09 PM
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    600 fine,they charge by the inch.

  11. #11
    Eruption Naked Wake's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 12:57 PM
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    Default

    he pistol whipped her alright haha

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    11.02.17 @ 09:45 PM
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    Default

    Good thing that wasn't me that tried that shit. She'd have to be pretty damn close for me to hit her!
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    07.05.17 @ 10:26 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by broken9500 View Post
    HAAHAHAHAHHA...


    Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."




    he tried to dick slap a cop!

    seriously...that's hysterical...
    Lol. As I read the headline I began to think "What have lithuanians done now in Britain". But as I kept reading, I just started to laugh. Frigging epic.

 

 

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