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Thread: Parenting?

  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! Buckeye's Avatar
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    10.30.17 @ 01:16 PM
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    Default Parenting?

    My 12 year old son was spending an inordinate amount of time on the computer. I have parental controls installed. When I checked the history there were MANY YouTube searches. i clicked on one, in the search field, he typed: "big tiddies". He was then required to sign in to verify he was 18. Frustrated by this, in the next search screen, he typed: "do not block porn". Once I stopped laughing, I had to decide how to handle it. As was mentioned earlier, this was just an updated, high tech version of snaking looks at my dad's Playboys. However, I understand that dad's Playboys are no comparison to the sick and twisted material that can be viewed by young, impressionable minds these days. So, I decided that this was an opportunity to have open dialogue regarding his role as a young man and our expectations of him in my household. I started with humor, and told him that I received a call from YouTube regarding his request to "not block porn" and they weren't willing to do so. after that broke the ice, we had a great discussion of the normalcy of such curiosity and that his old man has been there, done that and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. However, we discussed, that his mother would not understand, nor would we tolerate such behavior (we also have a 15 year old daughter) and explained the consequences of further violations. He didn't really want to discuss much at that time, but I assured him that my door was always open if he EVER wanted to discuss ANYTHING.

    Thoughts? Did I do the right thing? SHould I have ignored it? Was I too lenient?

  2. #2
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    I hate being a parent today - I'm completely convinced that my parents had a much easier time of it. Did we get into shit? Sure. Did we have to work a lot harder to get into shit? I'm fairly certain we did. Was the shit we got into as bad as the shit that kids are able to get into today? Like Buck's dad's "Playboy" vs. today's kids' internet porn, I'm convinced it was not.

  3. #3
    Hot For Teacher Kula's Avatar
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    02.16.16 @ 12:09 PM
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    Sounds like you handled it perfectly. You don't want to anger them or embarass them so they won't come and talk to you. You brought up the issue, discussed your concerns as well as potential punishment, and you gave the "open door" policy. Hopefully he'll take you seriously and use it when he needs to. That's the best way to go. Ignoring it can't lead to anything good, IMO.

    Can't wait til I get to have these talks with my 2 six yr olds in a few years! Hope I can handle it this well!

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    You did perfectly! Aw bless his heart! Big tiddies...lol.....I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't laugh, but I could see my son doing the exact same thing.

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium steve mcqueen's Avatar
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    I have a 13 year old son.....so your story sounds familiar.....I think you handled it just fine....my son spends endless hours scouring youtube as well, so far I have found nothing in his searches that have thrown up any red flags.....he has however, developed the habit of taking 45 min "showers"

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    Hang 'Em High RRMB's Avatar
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    05.21.17 @ 06:42 PM
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    Buckeye, sounds like you did a fantastic job. My mom didn't talk to me, my step-dad got pissed when I'd look at his Playboys and my dad tossed me a box of rubbers and asked, point blank;

    "You know how to use these?"

    "yeah." I replied

    "Good...don't be an idiot and make me a grandfather before you turn 18."


    Kudos to you Buckeye.
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    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
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    Buckeye - I can't think of anything better that you could have done. You didn't ignore it, you didn't over kill the discussion, you give consequences for future violations and the reasons why and left it open if he wants to talk. Sounds like you did a great job!
    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

    Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! Wickett's Avatar
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    07.19.17 @ 06:30 AM
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    I wish I had handled it that well when my 17 yo was 12.
    Don't drink the Jim Jones punch. They're called theToxic Twins for a reason...

  9. #9
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 11:34 AM
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    I think you handled the situation very well. Normal for the kid at that age to have curiosity about sex...if he didn't, THEN I'd worry, because he would either be a weird kid, or suppressing his curiosity


    Where you are going to find yourself in a pickle is over the "sexting", the sharing or photos of underage classmates and the strangers he will inevitably chat with online.

    That's where you are going to have to draw a line in the sand and explain that some things must simply be off limits for his protection and for the protection of his friends who may not be as lucky as he is to have concerned parents

    survivor of the Bowling Green Massacre 9-3-2016 BGSU 10 OSU 77

    She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.

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    Baluchitherium
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    sounds to me like you handled the situation perfectly.....just make sure he doesnt discover the Beautiful Girls Thread!!!
    http://www.facebook.com/Tommywho5150

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  11. #11
    Atomic Punk
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    seems like you handled pretty well. Good for you.
    Stay out of it, dude.


    I am Van Halen.

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    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    No worries, Buck. Sounds like, to me, you handled that as well as anybody could. 'Tiddies'...LOL! That is funny...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
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    Atomic Punk
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    are you sure he wasn't looking for these?

    Stay out of it, dude.


    I am Van Halen.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by broken9500 View Post
    are you sure he wasn't looking for these?

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  15. #15
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Nice job Buck. Easy to armchair QB something like this, but different to actually be the one doing it. That being said, I think a good follow up conversation is in order (because continuance of this kind of dialogue is healthy later onI'd think), on WHY that kind of behavior won't be tolerated. You seem clear on the point that it's natural, ok and all part of growing up but then have a clear expectation set that won't allow for that kind of search/google etc. I think explaining that a bit would be good as there could be confusion. Examples are cited here already pointing out how nasty and literally sometimes horrifying a porn search can turn up. That sex can really become a twisted perversion of how God wanted it to be, in some circles out there, and you don't want to see him get tainted with all that shit. There's a good view/path on this thing that if adhered to will produce fruit (literally) in his life, and a bad way which can cause depression, perversion, addiction and a down right creepy shell of a human being. Now's obviously the time to catch and coral some of that, and props to you for caring enough to get in front of it for his own well being.
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