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  1. #1
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 02:29 PM
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    Default Christian Side Hug

    God is not impressed I'm sure.


    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1..._n_369651.html


    Christian youth groups finally have an alternative to normal, aka "front," hugs. As we all know, face to face embraces run the horrific risk of a clothed crotch graze. The Christian Side-Hug (or the CSH, as the kids call it) rids us of sin, as the only below the belt contact will be some good old-fashioned hip on hip action.

    To help the side-hug fad sweep the nation, let us present this hardcore rap song. Yup, side-hugging has hit the streets. The group has as many emcees as the Wu-Tang Clan and as much power as a barbershop quartet.

    Look out for the ominous sirens blasting on the track. Clearly, these are gangsters on the run from the law - probably from side-hugging up a storm! One emcee (wearing his bandanna 2pac-style no less) admits to taking part in the forbidden front-hug. But don't worry, God. He's married.

    At the end, they all simulate getting shot and dying. We can only hope there are side-hugs in heaven.



  2. #2
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    Donor

    Default

    Curses! Foiled again.

    I've practically based my entire existence on subtle crotch-grazing.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    Default

    What is it about white Christians that not one of them can dance or has any sense of rhythm whatsoever?

    If they must assault our ears and sensibilities with this garbage, the least they could do is head down to their nearest black baptist gospel gathering and learn how to bloody move like it means something.

    Oh, and clap on 2 and 4, not 1 and 3, you morons.

    I feel better now. Bad day at the office.
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk ziggysmalls's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 01:41 PM
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    Premium Member

    Default

    Some art forms are best left to the original intent. Sacred music should be left to the standards and Pat Boone.

    Leave metal and rap out of it

  5. #5
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by graeme View Post
    What is it about white Christians that not one of them can dance or has any sense of rhythm whatsoever?

    Uh, excuse me??? I will have you know that I am a white Christian, and let me tell ya, this chick can DANCE!!! I am extremely coordinated and have TONS of rhythm, thank you......and as far as the side hugs go....I don't get it...When I'm at church, we hug each other front ways with BOTH arms and a pat on the back...and in the closing prayer.....the ENTIRE church holds hands.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
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    Default

    Chistian Side Hug?

    Wow, what genius came up with that, the same one that wants everyone to answer the phone "Heaven-o" instead of "hello"?

    This is just beyond stupid.

    And also, white people in general can't dance, it just isn't the Christians. There are exceptions to the rule, but it is generally true.
    Taylor Swift is nice to look at. Adele can sing.

    Emperor Brett - "I can't believe you guys are analyzing song-by-song Van Halen III? What next, analyzing the script of Stroker Ace looking for some shred of Citizen Kane?"

    David Lee Roth did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it!

    Preferred pronouns: he/him/his

    Hurricane Halen - Let's all gingery touch our sword tips!!!

    DONATE TO THE LINKS YA CHEAP BASTARDS!!!!

  7. #7
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    Uh, excuse me??? I will have you know that I am a white Christian, and let me tell ya, this chick can DANCE!!! I am extremely coordinated and have TONS of rhythm, thank you......and as far as the side hugs go....I don't get it...When I'm at church, we hug each other front ways with BOTH arms and a pat on the back...and in the closing prayer.....the ENTIRE church holds hands.

    entire church holds hands? sounds more like a game of red rover than mass.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by It's Mike View Post
    entire church holds hands? sounds more like a game of red rover than mass.
    HA! I'm not Catholic, I'm Baptist, and yes, every Sunday, the paster will say everyone hold hands and bow your heads...So, we all grab the hand on each side and bow.......

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    HA! I'm not Catholic, I'm Baptist, and yes, every Sunday, the paster will say everyone hold hands and bow your heads...So, we all grab the hand on each side and bow.......
    No offence meant in my original post Kimmie but, in response to this, the guy says "hold hands and bow your heads"?

    Not really kicking the beat is it?

    Pastor Jones says, "Eyes closed and get the fuck down people", would be far cooler.

    Just sayin'.
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! Wickett's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    HA! I'm not Catholic, I'm Baptist, and yes, every Sunday, the paster will say everyone hold hands and bow your heads...So, we all grab the hand on each side and bow.......
    Baptist? Baptists aren't supposed to dance..
    Don't drink the Jim Jones punch. They're called theToxic Twins for a reason...

  11. #11
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by graeme View Post
    No offence meant in my original post Kimmie but, in response to this, the guy says "hold hands and bow your heads"?

    Not really kicking the beat is it?

    Pastor Jones says, "Eyes closed and get the fuck down people", would be far cooler.

    Just sayin'.

    LOL!! GASP! You sicko!! I'm tellin ya, the WAY you put that....mmmm...shame SHAME!!

  12. #12
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wickett View Post
    Baptist? Baptists aren't supposed to dance..

    Not at my church! You should see HOW they kids dance around in Children's church! It's GREAT!! And our youth group has an interpretive dance group. They preform and it is SO MOVING! It touches your heart!

  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    Not at my church! You should see HOW they kids dance around in Children's church! It's GREAT!! And our youth group has an interpretive dance group. They preform and it is SO MOVING! It touches your heart!
    This is how church for kids should be....

    Check out the young lad at the top of the stairs. He is feeling so much funk the poor chap's body can hardly take it.

    Is this similar to your church?

    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by graeme View Post
    This is how church for kids should be....

    Check out the young lad at the top of the stairs. He is feeling so much funk the poor chap's body can hardly take it.

    Is this similar to your church?


    OH! LOL!!! You just made me smile BIG!!!

    No, that's not quite the way my church is.....

  15. #15
    Sinner's Swing! VH122's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    HA! I'm not Catholic, I'm Baptist, and yes, every Sunday, the paster will say everyone hold hands and bow your heads...So, we all grab the hand on each side and bow.......
    Some Catholics hold hands while reciting the Lord's prayer at Mass.

 

 

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