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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk I Coulda Hada VH's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 04:38 PM
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    Default Democrat, Republican or Redneck?

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds
    before he reaches you and your family. What
    do you do?

    THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would
    he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that
    would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    Redneck's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG !
    Click . . .. (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click
    Daughter: Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydrashocks?
    Son: Can I shoot the next one?
    Wife: You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!
    "It's so lonely at the top because it's so crowded at the bottom" - Diamond David Lee Roth

    "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you"

    "Be careful what you wish for because you just might lose what you already have"

    "Women and Children First ... The REAL Van Halen III"

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 03:26 PM
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    Default

    LMAO! I probably fall somewhere between Republican and Redneck. Double tap to the chest, one to the head.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  3. #3
    Hang 'Em High sickman's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 02:06 PM
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    Donor

    Default

    I like the Republican / Indiana Jones answer.
    I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

  4. #4
    Eruption
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    12.06.01
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    Arizona
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    I have to pick?
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    10.05.17 @ 11:44 AM
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    Default

    Rule #4: Double Tap
    Your favorite band sucks.

  5. #5
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 03:40 PM
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    Default

    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

  6. #6
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
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    Goose Poop, Ohio
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    12.15.17 @ 05:43 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by It's Mike View Post
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    given the fact that I used to be the chairman of this day in my town, I do not find it amusing............I sure you are all SHOCKED at this piece of news LOL
    (oh, and we called it Beautification Day)

    survivor of the Bowling Green Massacre 9-3-2016 BGSU 10 OSU 77

    She was warned. She was given an explanation. Nevertheless, she persisted.

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! Jesus H Christ's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 06:39 AM
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    Default

    "The less I needed, the better I felt." ~ Charles Bukowski.

  8. #8
    Forum Frontman It's Mike's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 03:40 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Daisy Hill View Post
    given the fact that I used to be the chairman of this day in my town, I do not find it amusing............I sure you are all SHOCKED at this piece of news LOL
    (oh, and we called it Beautification Day)
    i have no problem with "beautification" but in the context of the situation it was pretty funny.

 

 

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