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Thread: shitmydadsays

  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    Default shitmydadsays



    "Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

    "The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."

    "The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

    http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 01:36 AM
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    Default

    I saw this on facebook the other day, it is so fucking funny. It almost made me join Twitter just so I could up to date on the shit this guys Dad says.
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
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    I had to add this guy.. sheer brilliance!
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Eruption
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    Default

    I just started following this guy too. It's hilarious. I love:

    "Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."10:57 AM Aug 21st from web

    "Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."1:15 PM Aug 22nd from web

    I always crack up at Darth Vader's tweets and Jim Gaffigan is great.

    Other funny ones on Twitter:

    TheOnion
    MichaelScott
    someecards
    SportsbyBrooks
    OGOchoCinco (Chad Johnson)
    TPIRHost (Drew Carrey)

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk
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    Default

    The Wife sent this guy's twitter to me...fucking hysterical.
    Stay out of it, dude.


    I am Van Halen.

  6. #6
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
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    "You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote we're not watching this bullshit."
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  7. #7
    Eruption 5150's Avatar
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    "It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"
    "I didn't just drive a thousand goddamn miles on a motorcycle to watch some little girl prance around on stage" - Steve Morrison on if Justin Bieber performed at Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

    -"I'd rather stick my junk into a freshly-slapped hornet's nest." LLFHS on banging Lindsay Lohan

    Poster formerly known as Fiftyoneftfty

  8. #8
    Eruption 5150's Avatar
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    "How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."
    "I didn't just drive a thousand goddamn miles on a motorcycle to watch some little girl prance around on stage" - Steve Morrison on if Justin Bieber performed at Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

    -"I'd rather stick my junk into a freshly-slapped hornet's nest." LLFHS on banging Lindsay Lohan

    Poster formerly known as Fiftyoneftfty

  9. #9
    Top Of The World adamhlava's Avatar
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    "What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man."

    "You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."

    "Tennessee is nice. The first time I vomited was in tennessee, I think."
    "Yeah, "Panama" is a pretty sexy song; I always thought that song should’ve been sung by a girl; now ya got Sammy Hagar. Any questions?"

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    GawdDAMN how I needed to laugh today. Thanks for startin this thread!
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  11. #11
    Good Enough
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    "You would go around your ass to get to your elbow".

  12. #12
    Eruption smme5150's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voivod View Post


    "Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

    "The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."

    "The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

    http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
    The second one here is priceless to me. My kid told me the other day our dog seemed "depressed"?

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    I've missed Archie Bunker.


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  14. #14
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
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    "What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man."
    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, “Tokyo Dome In Concert,” is available for purchase, and it’s super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheresOnlyOneWay View Post
    "What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man."


    holy shit that might be the best one yet!
    Stay out of it, dude.


    I am Van Halen.

 

 

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